13. get you

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I just wanna see,
how beautiful you are.

I lean my head against the cold tiles of the wall, clenching my chest with my free hands as I try to cough out as much rose petals I possibly could. There was nothing more painful than to release rose petals to give me that daily reminder that I was slowly losing time, and soon, my time will be up. 

"And so what will happen if I never get to meet my soulmate?" 

My doctor takes out the IV from my arm, and I wince in pain but his smile suddenly falls. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion as he places his materials onto the cart, looking me straight in the eye.

"It's simple. You die."

When you release more rose petals, you release more feelings of love for your soulmate, therefore, when you no longer hold rose petals, you will no longer love your soulmate. The feelings only disappear along with the petals. If you're too late and you never find your soulmate, you are only subjected to death.

I close my eyes. Love kills. It kills you eventually, no matter how much you love someone that will never love you back. Sometimes, the curiosity of reciprocated love is the only thing that fills my mind. But it only takes the thought of Taehyung to completely wash away the concept of love coming two ways.

"Could you at least give me a hint as to where my soulmate is? I'm pretty sure you know exactly who he is, you're just making things extra harder for me by finding who he is."

"He's closer than you think. The only piece of advice I can give you is to be aware of who you're with, how you feel after you're with them, and you'll most likely get an answer."

My phone suddenly vibrates, and I turn towards the counter top to see the illuminated screen. I grab my phone, unlocking it to see a text message from Taehyung. A smile spreads across my lips, and I immediately send a text back.

are you free tomorrow night?
sent: 7:01 PM

yes, i'll be free after calc class!
sent: 7:02 PM

My phone vibrates once more, and I check my messages to see another contact name on my screen. My smile suddenly disappears, and it's almost as if my happiness was exchanged with sympathy. Park Jimin.

He ran after me, and I tried to run away from him to prevent things from getting worse. I looked at my wrist that was starting to bruise after Seolhyun had tried to take me away from Jimin, but I had managed to escape both of them. 

"Yah, Park Soojung!"

While running, I turn over my shoulder to see him still running after me. I was growing breathless, the same type of breathless whenever I would release rose petals. I feel a hand grab my wrist and pull me back, stopping me from getting any farther. 

"What did you mean back there? What were you talking about? Answer me, please."

I look at him, but it was almost painful to look at his innocent face. He had absolutely no clue about Seolhyun, Taehyung, and their past relationship. Even though I had no clue either, from Taehyung's pained looks about Seolhyun during the camping retreat, and from Seolhyun's confrontation, there just had to be a past relationship the two of them had shared.

"Your soulmate, Seolhyun, is not just your soulmate, Jimin-ah."

He furrows his eyebrows in confusion, but his hands were still on mine. It was almost as if he was trying to search for an answer through my eyes.

"You're not making any sense, Soojung.."

"Seolhyun is Taehyung's soulmate too. But since you're Seolhyun's soulmate, that had only resulted in Taehyung being a glitch."

I tap on the conversation room, staring at Jimin's text message. My heart could only soften and feel wrenched at the same time because of his situation. Jimin was almost like me, in between this whole mess called love. If only we could love anyone we want, and not have to worry about everyone or everything stopping us from doing so. But for some people, like Jimin and I, we only wish to love anyone we want, and not have to worry about being in between everything stopping us from doing so.

do you think taehyung hates me?
sent: 7:11 PM

taehyung doesn't hate anyone.
i just think he needs closure..
and a friend. a friend he once
sent: 7:12 PM

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Who would've thought
I'd get you?

I stare at myself in the mirror, my cheeks stained with tears and my lungs almost breathless. Wiping away my tears, I could only muster up a soft smile, only to watch it falter and the look of confusion and being lost washes over my face. My gaze trails down to my scars through the mirror, and my fingers graze them softly as I wince in pain. 

"You're not kidding, are you?"

He glances up from the folder that had a generous amount of result papers and test papers all compiled together. His smile falters, just like mine, and he could only shake his head in reply. My head hangs low, but my eyes trail back towards my name written on the diagnosis. 

"It can't be me."

He chuckles just to ease the tension, but I look at him through one eye, my vision getting blurry. Who would've thought I'd get you? Out of all people, it just had to be you. 

"You're her soulmate, Taehyung-ssi."

I shake my head, running a hand through my messy hair. I turn towards the rose petals that were sitting on my bedside table, picking them up gently and carefully with my hands. I brought them close to my nose, slowly shutting my eyes as I feel the fresh set of tears fall down my cheeks once again. I chuckle bitterly.

Who would've thought I'd get you? Who would've thought that the source of your rose petals was me? Out of all people you could possibly end up with, your innocent soul, your innocent being was matched with a selfless person like me, someone that you didn't deserve at all.

Someone that was a glitch, just like you.

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