So Be It // o. maatta

Chapter Sixty-Six

Chapter Sixty-Six: Alex's POV

The dripping wet clothes clung to my shivering body as I pulled myself further and further up the metal steps. I needed to apologize to Olli; it was my fault we were still in this damn spat. I didn't want to have to deal with Jayson again, though, so I thought that my next best option was to climb the fire escape, up to Olli's bedroom. As I was discovering, it was anything but logical.

As I crawled up the steps, a massive thunderstorm was brewing overhead, dumping gallons of water upon me, and my already-freezing body. This pissed me off, slightly. I mean, a fucking thunderstorm in January? Pennsylvania was one fucked up place.

In the big picture, having to deal with a pissed off Jayson was a lot safer than climbing up flights upon flights of metal stairs during a thunderstorm, but I was doing it for Olli. For Olex.

After ten minutes of climbing, having wet locks thwack across my face, and fearing I was going to be struck by lightning, I was on the landing, just outside Olli's window. For a minute, I just sat there, calmly. (As calmly as someone could be on metal steps during a thunderstorm, I suppose.) There was a possibility that he was done with me. That he was long gone, and moved on. There was this overwhelming possibility that the curtain had closed on the showing of Olex.

Suddenly growing nervous, I put my fist to Olli's window, and knocked, shakily. What if he was moved on?

I knocked until I saw a light flick on. It wasn't that late. Why was he already asleep?

Moments later I watched a figure move in front of the curtains, and draw them back. He stood right before me, eyes bloodshot, body pajama-clad.

"Alex." He mouthed, quickly unlocking the window, and throwing it up.

"Olli." I whispered. It was barely audible over the claps of thunder.

"Come in before you get hurt." He reached out, grabbing my hands.

I jerked back, slightly, and wave of pain washed across his face, like it hurt that I didn't want him to touch me.

"No, I don't deserve to come in. I just need to talk to you-"

"I'm not talking to you while you're in harm's way. Just," He reached out, and grabbed my arms. This time, I didn't pull away. "Let's get you inside." He helped me up, into the bedroom, but, in the midst of it all, my sweats got caught on the ledge, and ripped right down the side.

"I'll go get you a pair of my-"

"Olli." I cut him off. "Stop being so nice to me. I treated you like shit, and-"

"Alexandra." He took both my hands in his, and interlocked all ten fingers. "I'm madly, truly, deeply, depressingly in love with you, okay? I can't picture a future with anyone else. Hell, I don't even want to picture a future with anyone else, okay? I'm going to treat you well whether we're dating, or we hate each other."

"But I treated you like-"

"No you didn't." He shook his head. "I was the bastard. I came home drunk, and I hurt you."

"But I ignored you-"

"You ignored me because you wanted to protect yourself." He leaned in, and swept his hand across my cheek. "You didn't want to get hurt by me, so you ignored me. And honestly, I deserved it. I'm not mad at you, I'm just mad at myself."

"But baby," My voice was so soft. So, so quiet. "I'm fucking in love with you. I shouldn't have ignored you. I mean, what kind of girlfriend-"

"We aren't dating, anymore." Olli reminded me, voice cracking.

With one hand, I pulled his lips to mine, and kissed them, lightly.

"Olli," I breathed, "I think we both know that we're always going to be together. I mean, for me, you're it. I don't want anyone but you." I broke away, and began lightly pacing the floor. "I mean, I'm nineteen, I know. I'm young, and dumb, and maybe I'll regret it fifteen years down the road, but this is it. You're the one."

After a long pause, he stated gently, "Marry me. I mean, you're all I want, too. You're the one. We're nineteen, and we both have our futures, and all, but I'm so fucking in love with you. I can't picture ever being with another girl, and the thought of you with another guy makes me want to vomit. I want to spend everyday with you. I want to be there when you graduate college, and med school. I want you to be there as my career as a player goes on. I want to have kids with you. Jussi and Amelia, remember? We've talked about them before. I want them to have your hair, and my eyes. I want to grow old with you, and watch our kids fall in love like we did. Dammit, I just want you."

By now, tears were full-on flowing down my cheeks. "You're asking me to marry you?"

He nodded, beginning to cry small tears, too.

"Yes." I choked out. "Yes, Olli fucking Maatta. I'll marry you."