So Be It // o. maatta

Chapter Fifty-Three

Chapter Fifty-Three: Alex's POV

I sat in Olli's kitchen, staring at the clock. 11:48 am. Their flight was supposed to land at 11:00 am. He would be here any minute.

Although I had decided I would say yes if Olli did pop the question, I was kinda, well, nervous. On edge. I knew that he wouldn't ask once he got home, obviously, since the ring was still at the jewler, but there was just something about the idea that Olli had planned out a proposal, that Olli had dropped a fuckload of money on a ring, that made me, well, freaked out. I was paranoid I wouldn't be good enough for him, or live up to standards. That he'd propose, and I'd say yes, and he'd be all happy, but then he'd realize I wasn't what he wanted in a girl, and he'd be miserable. Although I knew the entire thought was ridiculous -Olli was such a damn sweetheart that it wouldn't happen- there was still a part of me, deep down, that had panic pulsing through it.

I had only talked to Olli twice in the time he was gone, and both conversations were beyond uncomfortable. And while you're probably thinking I was acting ridiculous, it didn't matter to me how ridiculous I appeared. I was so nervous, just the very idea of talking to him made my skin crawl. I mean, while I was ready to say yes, I just felt like we had so much of our lives ahead of us. I didn't want this to tear us apart.

After watching time slip away for quite a bit, I heard the front door open.

"Alex?" I heard a thick, Finnish accent call.

I forced a smile, stood up, and cheerfully walked into the foyer. "Olli!"

He carefully wrapped his arms around me, and held my body tightly to his. "I missed you so much." He whispered.

All I could think about was the ring.

"Missed you too, darling." I told him, distracted.

He pulled away, then cautiously gestured to my wrist. "Are you okay?"

I smiled, trying to look happy, but hiding my nerves was hard. "I've been better." Which was a completely honest assessment.

Olli slipped off his coat, and sort of guided me into the kitchen.

"So, how was your time without me? Miserable?" He joked.

"Just terrible." I stated, half-heartily. Like I said, the whole marriage idea was eating away at me.

"I'm glad." Olli grinned, taking the seat across from where I was sitting. I, however, flashed no smile. Not even the slightest sliver of a smirk.

"So, I really missed you." He murmured.

"Missed you, too." There wasn't a lot of emotion put into that, which he picked up on. He looked hurt.

"Alex, hun, are you alright? You seem a bit, eh, distracted. Disengaged. Is everything alright?"

Without even thinking, I shook my head yes. "Yeah, baby, everything is alright."

Olli looked at me skeptically, but then dropped the subject, which I appreciated a great deal. "So, do I get to sign your cast?" He beamed.

I smiled a half-ass smirk, and nodded stiffly. Olli, on the other hand, smiled largely, then scurried off to go find a sharpie. As soon as he left the room, I exhaled loudly. I was so damn guarded around him. He was going to pick up on it sooner, or later, and this time, he wouldn't just drop it. I was contemplating coming clean. I mean, if he knew I knew, things wouldn't be so uncomfortable. We'd be able to actually talk about it...

"Alex!" Olli's voice snapped me out of my thinking. He looked hurt. Seriously hurt. "What's wrong, hun?" He pulled out the chair next to mine, and leaned in, so his body was close to mine. "What's going on, Alex? First you're all distant, now you're zoning out? Sweetie, did something happen?" His tone was firm, yet gentle, and genuine.

Despite my contemplation, I denied anything being awry, yet again. "I swear, Olli, I'm fine."

"No you're not. I can see it in your eyes. In your skin. In your face. You aren't ok, and I'm not going to stop until you tell me what's wrong."

Attempting to change the subject, I began softly singing the chorus of Miley Cyrus's hit song, 'We Can't Stop.'

"We can't stop, and we won't stop."

Olli stared at me, pain rippling through those damn blue eyes that took my breath away every time I saw them. "Alexandra." He stated, softly. "What's happening? Did I fuck something up?"

His body was so close to mine, I could feel heat radiating off him, and onto me. He was so close, and I was so cold, and he was so hurt, and-

"Am I not good enough? Did you find someone better? You didn't..." He trailed off.

I knew he was going to say 'cheat,' but he wasn't able to get the words out.

"Olli, honey, I promise you I didn't cheat. And I didn't find someone better. For hell's sake, you're the best guy I've ever met. They literally don't get better than you. If anything, I'm not good enough for you. And I promise, nothing's-"

"Something's wrong, Alex. I wasn't born yesterday. I can sense it in your voice, and actions. What's up?"

"I know you weren't born yesterday," I said, lightly. "You're teenage sensation Olli Maatta, remember?" I ridiculed the TV/Radio announcers that constantly brought up Olli's age.

"Alexandra Neal, cut the shit. Just tell me what's wrong." He was growing impatient, and in all honesty, he had just about every right to be.

I sighed, heavily, forcing almost all the air out of my lungs. "Well, Olli, I was here after I was discharged from the hospital, and the phone rang, and well, it was some lady calling to inform you that the diamond ring was available to pick up. And-"

"Dammit." He mumbled. "I knew I should've put my cell down as the contact number..."

"I mean, I love you, Olli. I'm madly, and hopelessly in love with you. So yes, a thousand times yes. It's just that, we're so young, and so dumb, and so inexperienced, and I don't want this to fuck us up. I don't want us to become that classic case of people who married too young, and paid the price for it later. I want to spend my entire life with you, not just a few years. I'm just afraid this'll mess us up, but I guess if we're really in love, it won't...."

My little speech was interrupted by a pair of soft lips being pressed to mine. Goddamn, those lips were sweeter than the sweetest candy known to man. Softer than a baby's ass. And I wanted them so damn bad.

"Alex, baby." Olli moaned, softly, breaking apart. "I love you, too. And I love your speech. And while it really warmed my heart, I need to tell you something.."

My heart fell. The ring wasn't what I thought it was.

"It's a, it's a promise ring, babe."

"A what?" I whispered.

"A promise ring. One of those rings that symbolizes serious commitment to one another."

"Oh, right." I fell back into my chair.

"Sorry?"

I inhaled, slowly. At first I didn't even want to think about marriage. Then I was more than ready to marry him. Then I was nervous as hell, then I ranted about us, then I was disappointed when I found out he wasn't actually proposing. Curse me and my teenage girl feelings. "It's, it's okay."

He held his hand to my cheek, and brushed his thumb across my face. "And if we weren't so young, I'd propose tomorrow."

I smiled a real smile, for the first time since Olli had gotten home.

"And I'd say 'yes' in a heartbeat."