Gay. (Royce)

Chapter 37.

Harry's P.O.V

When I was a little boy, a lot of shit happened to me. From my moms being a drug addict, her sniffing it in front of me. To my pops tattooing me when I was only eleven. I'm not looking for any sympathy. I can get that from my friends. I just wanna let y'all know how hard it's been for me, being that I grew up in Marcy Projects, where Jay-Z resides.

(A/N:That's where I'm from :) My brother was friends with him, my mother use to kick him out the house. Lol)

"Harry, get yo ass in here." My mother, Carlie said. "I need you to go downstairs and get me some money from Pooch."

"Okay..." I smiled, throwing my action figure down. "I'm going now."

I was only seven years old then. It's crazy how vivid I remember this night. I walked down the stairs to the second floor. I knocked on the door and Pooch, a middle aged, white man opened the door. He had jewelry that was too big for his skinny frame.

"Harry. Mom asked for money?" He smiled. "Go sit in the kitchen."

I walked past older women, making out with teenage boys. They all stopped to look at me and then they looked at Pooch. He looked down in shame. He knew it wasn't right that I was down in a crack apartment. He handed me the money and walked grabbed his son's best friend, Richard. He was only seventeen then. Ten years older than me.

"Take him upstairs and tell his mother to get her ass down here." He growled. "Bye, Harry."

"Bye, Mr. Pooch." I smiled.

If only I knew that that would be my last time saying bye to him. When my mother returned, she had tears running down her eyes. I presume it was twelve at night. She pushed Richard inside and he held me.

"That didn't just happen." She cried. "Richard, they shot him dead!"

"Who!?" Richard yelled. "Pooch!"

"Yeah!" She trembled from the drugs. "I can't do this."

"What you mean?" Richard growled.

"I have to leave for a few." She said, packing some things up. "Harry I love you."

"No, Mommy!" I screamed. "Don't leave me!"

"Don't leave your son Carlie." Richard said. "That's bad parenting."

I grabbed onto her shaking leg and she sucked her teeth and shook me off. She ran out the door, leaving me in the care of a seventeen year old boy. The boy held onto me and shushed me as I cried.

"I won't let them get you.." He whispered. "Unlike the rest of these men, I got you."

"Thank you, Richard." I smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too, squirt." He smiled. "Let's go to sleep."

He slept next me and I felt protected for the first time in a long time. Mom didn't return for a couple of months. I then was eight.

"Okay baby." Richard smiled. "I love you too."

"Are you going to come over...to talk?" His girlfriend smiled. "I want you inside me."

"....aight." He grinned. "I'll be there shortly."

Richard got up, grabbing what I thought was a ramen noodle packet and his jacket. He looked back at a frowning me. He forgot I was there.k

"Richard, where you going?" I snapped. "You said you were gonna take me to play with Jonah."

Richard sucked his teeth and walked him to his friend's house. Richard was friends with Jonah's older brother Carl. He gave Carl twenty dollars to watch him for a few hours.

"Let's play a game." Carl said, smirking. "Pull down your pants."

Jonah smiled and pulled it down and Carl laid on the couch as Jonah put his little penis in his mouth. Jonah started moaning as Carl stuck his finger in his butthole. I stood there awkwardly. When he finished, he stood and unbuckled his belt.

"Put it in your mouth." Carl demanded me, as he exposed himself fully. "Just grab it, it might be heavy, but it'll stand up on its own."

I just grabbed it and did what I was told to do. Carl grinned and groaned. Jonah started crying when I was doing that to him.

"What's wrong?" Carl asked in between his moans. "Why you crying."

"I always do that to you.."

I'm sorry, I get really emotional telling this story. What I did to him that night, I would never forget. Richard barged inside and grabbed Carl and body slammed him. Jonah and I screamed and watched them.

"What are you doing to my brother!?" Richard growled, he's not my brother, but that's what he called me. "You faggot!"

Carl grabbed the gun on the floor and shot him right in the neck. Richard looked at me and mouthed something.

"I love you, I'm sorry.." He fell tithe ground as Carl ran out the door.

People came inside and called the police and they eventually found him arrested him for rape and first degree murder.

"I'm so sorry." He said to me. "Forgive me."

"I already did..." My eighteen year old self said. "I already did."

When I was eleven, my dad bought me all new Jays. He also got my hair cut. He took me to his tattoo parlor, which was vacant today. I sat in my usual seat, but dad put me in the chair he usually is in.

"Why am I in the chair, Pop?" I laughed. "You tattooing me?"

"What you want?" He asked. "You're getting a tattoo."

I thought about it and decided to get a details cross with Jesus on it on the inside part of my arm.

"Cool.." Dad said.

That was the moth unbearable pain off life. I couldn't believe that it hurt that much my first time. I ended up getting a lot of tattoos after that.

"Thanks dad." I smiled, looking up to the sky. "Thank you for not being a killer or a drug addict."

Let's skip ahead to when my mother returned. She didn't come back until I was fourteen.

"Jonah, someone knocking bruh." I smiled as he walked to opened the door. "Who the hell knocking."

This is around the time I started my sweats and slippers thing. I liked to be comfortable when I hit puberty. A really skinny lady came inside and grabbed me.

"Mama's missed you." She cried. "Please forgive me."

It was her. I pushed her off me in disgust. I never saw here again after that. That's sad? Nah, I was doing good. Me and Jonah separated when I moved down south to attend the school when I met Craig, Imani, Kevin, Na'Im, Spank and them. I haven't heard from Kevin, Na'Im and Spank since we graduated.

I had it rough, but I'm glad I got through it with the grace of God.

That was my story.