Them (completed)

Prologue: HER (part I)

                                                                   Prologue: HER

    Who ever says marriage is easy...they are lying.

    Actually, now I can see why people divorce. It’s not because it’s an easy way out or because you fall out of love. Well at least that’s not why I want a divorce. It’s this thing called infidelity that can ruin your marriage and your self-esteem. But then again my marriage was going downhill way before that. I can see why he would cheat on me. I’m a difficult person and lately I haven’t been in the mood to talk or be intimate with my husband. Intimacy brings people close together and creates children. I don’t want to be close to my husband at the moment and I can’t have kids. As you can see intimacy hasn’t been a factor for us in a while. It’s not like sex with my husband is bad. It’s just I’m going through a lot. I’m in a dark place.

    So when I saw Christopher, my husband with lipstick on his collar I didn’t flinch, I didn’t even ask him about it. I sat at the kitchen island and acted like I didn’t see it. I just continued to read the newspaper as if it was interesting.

    “How was work,” My husband asked me as he sat his shoulder bag on the kitchen counter.

    Work hasn’t been a factor for me either. Actually, I’m on the verge of quitting my job. I haven’t really been myself lately. Christopher hasn’t really been his self lately either. Christopher seemed more stress than usual.  He had creases in his forehead. On top of that he had a bit of gray hair growing in and he’s only thirty-one. He should be happy but I was bringing him down.

    “It was fine,” I lied as he stepped closes to me.

    When Chris was about a foot away from where I was sitting I got a whiff of a female’s perfume. He wasn’t even trying to hide it. Now that smell would be forever in my head. He could have at least showered.

    Chris nodded then headed to his office at the back of the house. We normally don’t spend more than five minutes in each others presence. We don’t even sleep in the same bed anymore. It’s like we’re roommates instead of spouses. I don’t know what to do anymore.

    When I heard the door to his office close I got up and stood in front of his shoulder bag. I never felt the need to go through my husband’s things. But at that moment I was feeling low and I wanted to know what was in his bag. So yea I opened his bag and went through it. I soon as I did it I wished I could take it back. I found a white thong on the side of his bag.

    “Seriously,” I said to myself.

    I returned the thong to the bag and closed it. I was a little hurt but I expected it. I didn’t expect to find a thong in my husband’s bag and I expected him to be a little more secretive about his sex life outside of this marriage. For a while now, I have suspected Chris was not being faithful.

    I’m madly in love with my husband. He’s funny and intelligent. He’s doing great things with his life but I can’t help but feel like I’m holding him back. He’s sexy thus I’m sure women throw themselves at him. He’s tall and muscular. His smile is prefect thanks to braces. Did I mention his body? He has cuts and muscles everywhere. He’s dark brown skin complexion is what drew me to him. I have a thing for dark men. A man with confidence is another turn on. Chris is a confident man and sometimes cocky but it’s sexy on him. He walked with his head held high and is back straight. He doesn’t show fear or weakness. He’s very prideful.

    He’s everything I never knew I wanted. He’s my bestfriend, confidant, lover, and husband. But I could not continue to drag him through the mud. I wouldn’t do it! Chris deserved better than what I can give. I can’t give him a family or happiness.