Taking a Leap

17. Panicked

Panicked

It wasn't until I slammed the door shut and the cold air greeted me was when I realized I was in my house. I collapsed against the wall and slid down to the floor finally allowing myself to break down.

I ran more than a couple of blocks, the adrenaline now starting to ware off.

Tears and tears and even more tears flowed out of my eyes. I choked and found it difficult to breath. It felt like there was a barrier, restricting the movement of air in and out of my lungs. My hands were clenched down beside me trying to stop my body from shaking. My vision was becoming blurry, but I could see a figure running towards me.

"Amelia? Fuck, Amelia! What happened?" Shane held my hands trying to calm me down. I blindly grabbed onto his wrist, finding his pulse which always managed to calm me down.

"H-he tr-tried t-to..." I couldn't make the words out. I shook my head unable to comprehend all the different feelings and processes going on in my body.

"Breathe. Just breathe Amelia," he coaxed. "Deep breaths, come on, count with me."

"O-one," I choked out, letting out a deep breath, trying to count with every fifth beat of his rapidly beating pulse.

"Keep going."

"T-t-two." He gently squeezed my hand which helped with the trembling. "Th...t-three."

"What's next?" He asked faintly. My breathing was still laboured, but I had calmed down slightly.

It wasn't until I reached the number fourteen when my breathing returned to normal. However, my body still shook and the tears still fell.

He gently carried me to the sofa where he laid me down. I held onto his wrist, refusing to let go, finding reassurance as I continued to count.

I finally calmed down after what seemed like an hour, but it couldn't have been for more than twenty minutes. In that time Shane had remained quiet. My heavy breathing did the only talking in the room.

"What happened Amelia?" He kept his tone calm, knowing if he freaked out, I'd probably burst into tears again. He gave me a cold-water bottle and I slurped it down, relieving my parched throat.

"H-he talked. He sa-said... a lot of t-things he liked ab-about me, I-I think." I squeezed my eyes shut, unable to erase the image his face when I practically rejected him. "I-I didn't know wha-what to do. I was... scared." A faint squeeze to my hand caused me to open my eyes. I didn't miss the glassy eyes Shane had. I knew he wanted to ask countless number of questions, but he didn't.

"He told me I wa-was caring." I gulped. "H-he called me stubborn. Different. He c-commented on my smile. He s-said I was pretty," I strained.

"You are," his voice thick. I knew I wasn't. I was told that numerous times, and that now statement was permanently scarred into me.

"He said he trusted me, S-Shane," my voice cracked. "Then he asked me if he could... if he could kiss me." I felt Shane's hand go rigid. The waterworks started up again. "He asked me Shane. I s-said no." I looked up at Shane who now had a tear streaming down his face but made no move to wipe it away.