In Case You Didn't Know

{50} Dancing In The Sky

Chapter Fifty Dancing In The Sky

As I lied in my bed, I couldn't escape the memories. It haunted me and it always would. It was my fault and I couldn't blame anyone but myself. She warned me and I didn't listen to her and I should have.

I didn't know what was going on but I knew it was something horrible. That was very clear. It was the only thing I knew. Then the nurse walked in with a sad expression. She was holding a clipboard and I sat up as she walked closer to my bed.

"Colby." She said, sadly. "I'm so sorry."

I frowned, confused. "For what? What's wrong?"

She lifted an eyebrow. "You don't know?"

I shook my head. "No. So please tell me."

She took in a sharp breath and I saw how she was debating on how to tell the news. The news no one wanted to hear but then she ripped the bandage off, quick and easy.

"You were pregnant but you miscarriged."

At first, I couldn't believe her. I took a pregnancy test and it come back negative. I wasn't pregnant but then she kept saying how sorry she was. I was in denial.

I never saw my baby if I could even call it that. I was only five weeks pregnant when I miscarried. I was left in privacy as I cried and cried over the baby I didn't even know I was carrying. How could I have not known it was inside of me?

I was the person to blame and because of my own stupidity, I would never get to met my little baby. I would never know if it was a girl or a boy. I wouldn't know anything about it and it was all my fault. I didn't stay in the hospital very long, maybe a few hours at most before I left and went to my house. People came to visit me but I hardly noticed them as I lied on my side, facing the window as the tears streamed down my face.

I might not have noticed everyone who was there but I knew he wasn't one of them. He wasn't there. He didn't even show up and I couldn't blame him. He hated me and he had every reason to. I lost our child.

Our child we would never create memories with and this pain I felt would stay with me. I was careless and reckless. I was the one to harm my baby. The baby that was create a little of a month ago. The night of Valentine's Day.

I should've known. Why was I so stupid? Why didn't I listen? Why did I do this? I would never forgive myself. Never.

I wasn't sure how long I was left alone but I couldn't stay alone forever. I couldn't grieve alone. I didn't like being alone for a long time and they knew that. So my mom walked into my dark room and sat on my bed.

She placed her hand on my covered hip as I gripped my pillow, tighter. I had my back to her so she wouldn't see my tear stained face.

She sighed, lightly. "Sweetie, I should've told you this when you first asked but I didn't and I'm sorry."

I didn't know what she was talking about and I wasn't about to ask either. She was going to tell me.

"I was just like you, wilder even. If you can imagine that. I was so passionate about dancing as you are. I held a special spot for it. I loved it very much."

I didn't know why she chose now to tell me her story but I wasn't going to stop her.

"When I was nineteen, I had Hunter and of course I was absolutely terrified but I had Richard and he made everything better. Then three years later I had Levi. Life was moving fast. I wad scared. I had a stupid argument with Richard and we broke up. A couple of weeks went by and I needed to get out and enjoy life. I did and I met Deion. I actually met him while dancing. One thing led to another and then a month later, I found out I was pregnant. I hated myself. I blamed dancing for everything. I thought I lost everything but Richard saw the good and took me back. And from that moment on, I swore off dancing."