Since Summers

twenty seven : milksop

Help me, it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
No medicine is strong enough
Someone help me
I'm crawling in my skin
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood.
— Shawn Mendes, In My Blood

FRAZIER

Despite having her stomach growled for the last twenty minutes, Autumn seemed to lost her appetite. All she did was pushing around the food in her plate accompanied by an occasional sigh every now and then. I've finished my meal ten minutes ago since I've never had any problem eating my food but I knew females, especially one with a broken heart, only had two possible courses of action.

One, she would eat as if she had never eaten for a whole week, especially when chocolate or ice cream was on the menu, because maybe, just maybe, it would make her forget her broken heart. Two, she would not eat at all because how could she eat when everything taste sucks?

Autumn seemed to fall into the latter category. As much as I cringed whenever I saw girls overindulge in foods and chocolates, I'd prefer her to eat a lot of food than to have none. "Is the taste not to your liking?" I softly asked.

She blinked a few times then looked up and stared at me with those big hazel eyes, looking like every bit of a lost puppy. A broken-hearted puppy, to be precise. "I think I've had enough." She put down her forks and pushed the plate aside.

I wanted to tell her that she barely ate half but decided it was wise to keep my mouth shut. I signaled the waitress who took our order earlier and she walked to our table. "Could you get me the check, please?" I asked her once she arrived.

Her eyes darted from my face to Autumn's and when they once again landed on me, she narrowed her eyes and her expression filled with hatred. I cleared my throat as I started to feel really uncomfortable under her scrutinizing eyes. "The check, please."

She finally walked away after giving me one last murdering glare, leaving me wondering what had just happened. It wasn't my first time coming to this cafe but it was definitely my first time getting creeped out by the waitress.

When she came back with the check, her eyes were still looking at me as if she just saw me spitting on the glass or doing any misbehavior, which for the record, I've never done. I pulled out my wallet and gave her my card. Again, that one murdering looks before she scurried away.

I turned my attention back to Autumn who seemed to lost in her own world. "Hey," I softly said as I was afraid I would scare her if I wasn't careful. She looked up. "Do you want to go somewhere?"

For a few seconds, she could only blink but then her head started to shake. "I want to go home." Her words, although sounded weak, were final. I could see it her eyes that no matter what I said, I wouldn't be able to change her mind.

I smiled and gave her a reassuring nod. "Okay. I'll take you home."

"Sir," said the waitress rather loudly as she returned with my card. I nearly jumped to my feet. How the hell did she get here so fast?! I took my card from her hand and put it back into my wallet.

I pushed my chair back and stood. I went over to Autumn and helped her since she looked like a walking dead (not the aggressive and full of energy, but the one who walked like a slime). I took her hand and was about to lead her to the front door when the waitress leaned in and whispered rather loudly in her ear, "if I were you, I wouldn't cry and act pathetic. I would slap him so hard and make a scene so everyone in this restaurant knows what an asshole he is."

"What the—" I was going to curse but I swallowed back my words as I watched Autumn's shoulders started to rise and fall and a giggle came out of her lips. She looked at me and once again, I sucked in my breath.

The waitress looked confused as she turned her gaze back and forth at me and Autumn.

"You're blaming my wrong person," explained Autumn who apparently took pity and decided to put the know-it-all waitress out of her misery. "This guy is my friend, he's here trying to cheer me up." Autumn turned to face me as she continued, "he has been a really good friend, keeping me company even when I was clearly not being a good company."

The waitress turned her gaze to me and smiled shyly. All I could do was returned her smile, knowing that those scary glares were not because I accidentally broke the salt shaker in my poor attempt of juggling in order to make Autumn smile when we were waiting for the food earlier.

"Well, Miss, if I were you..." she leaned in and whispered her words in Autumn's ear, so low that I couldn't hear anything. So, she could whisper, huh, I thought sarcastically, the previous one was loud on purpose.

Autumn giggled, which made me curious to know what she has just told her. To make me even more curious, Autumn put one hand on the waitress' shoulder and said, "definitely, definitely not letting go."

Soon we were back to the parking lot and I opened the door for Autumn. Unlike earlier when we had first gotten to the restaurant, her mood was getting better thanks to the waitress's misunderstanding. She even asked me lightly about Corbin and what I was going to do after I dropped her home. For the first time in forever, I was not mad for being mistaken as an asshole.

* * * * * * * *

It was seven PM and instead of playing my brand new PS5 which had just arrived this afternoon, I was pacing in my living room back and forth, from one end to the other.

"This is madness!" I yelled to no one in particular, another perk of living all by myself. No one would tell me to shut up and I could say or yell whatever I wanted.

I ran my hand through my hair out of frustration. "This is not me. Stop it, Fray!" Yet I could not shake the feeling growing in the pit of my stomach nor could I describe how it really felt.

When I had dropped her by her house this afternoon, she had found a note on the counter. It had been from her boyfriend, or might as well call him 'the asshole ex' since he was very well deserved the notion, saying that he had taken some of his clothes with him as he was now moving out of their shared apartment to live with Faith.

I had no idea who Faith was, although it would be easy to run her name through the SIS just like I had done with Autumn last night, yet I had a feeling that she was the blonde who had been with her asshole ex this afternoon. Lud, I hoped she was a Columbia student, it would make it easier for me to make her life miserable when she also went to our school.

I started to pace again. This was not good, not good at all. Even though Autumn had somehow managed to fake the biggest grin ever, I still was not convinced that she was okay.

"What an asshole!" I cursed under my breath. Instead of staying and trying to have a decent talk with her, he had packed his bag and left. "Coward. Sissy. Scaredy cat. Lily-livered. Milksop. Caitiff. Chicken liver. Wimp. Pansy. Puss—" An idea popped into my head as I was trying so hard to mutter one word after the other, with the same meaning.

I took my wallet off the table and grabbed my jacket from the couch then headed towards the front door. I sprinted to my car and in mere minutes, I was already on my way to the supermarket.