Then I Quit [BL]

F R E E

I remember time flashes by like an arrow piercing through the air.

"Gabe, let's go home?" Gray grabs my shoulder and pulls me in for a hug.

"Where will my brothers sleep?" I look at my shoes stained of blood.

"Ben needs to be in the hospital, but Jen will be living with his uncle-"

"I have some cash, I'll rent a hotel room with Jen," I mumble.

"I don't think you can do that?"

"Why not? I'm 18. I am his older brother. Who else is closer to him than me?" I balled my hands into tight fists.

"I'll ask his uncle if Jen can stay with us, how about that?" Gray pats my head.

"It's okay. I'll ask if I can take care of Jen and Ben from here on out," the image of Gray and another man in his car flashes in my head again.

"Gabe, you're still a high school student. You can't be the guardian of two kids," I hear Gray sigh heavily and stressfully.

"I'll drop out and get a job."

"It's not that simply," he pinches his nose bridge, "Come on. Let's do what I said. I'll ask for permission from Jen's uncle if he can stay with us."

"No!" I stand up to sit by Ralph's operation room with his father and Ray.

The nurses bring out Jen and I rush to him. I pat him about and ask, "Are you okay? Does anything hurt?"

"I'm okay," Jen smile at me, "Ah, why don't we go see Ben?"

I nod and the nurses nod at us too. They lead us to a room with some officers coming out.

"Ben!" Jen breathes of relief and hugs his brother. They look like a happy pair of brothers-I don't fit in the picture. I feel my throat tied into a knot as I fake a smile.

I walk out of the room. Gray is waiting for me as he stands filled with worries. Not wanting to see him at the moment, I pretend to not see him and sprint pass him.

The roof is my destination. The cold frost like air calms the shaky volcano inside of me. The night sky with stars give me comfort. No more devils.

"I'm sorry Ralph. I shouldn't have involved you with my problems," I sing into the open sky.

Without me noticing, I am covered by a thin layer of snow. I guess it is winter.

I see the open city in front of me and feel my phone inside my pant pocket. Dying doesn't seem like a bad option about now. It's not like it had entered my mind because death likes to linger around me all the time.

The voice from before forms into the silhouette of a 6'4" man. Very well built. Now this silhouette have always been by my side and it was always silent, but today it talked. Yes today. Why today?

"Hi," I call out to it for the first time. "What's your name?"

He doesn't speak.

"Are you mute now? You sure were talking a lot at the house," I laugh. "Did I made you?"

He nods. I was always scared of him and ignored his existence, but now not so much.

"Want to fall down this building together?" I ask.

But before he answers, Gray tackled me to the ground. The silhouette disperses into thin air.

Gray cries but I can't tell if he's acting or not. He says, "What are you thinking? What do you think I'll do if you kill yourself?"

"I was planning to record a message for you before that," I laugh, "with my phone."

Gray gets really mad at me but take his coat off to cover me, "Stupid son!"

"Ay, what are you doing?" I take the coat off of me and put it back on his back. "You'll be cold."

"But I'm your father, I can handle a little cold," he puts the coat back on me.

"It'll just be a waste on me," I smile at him and put the coat back on him. Then I get up and step away so he couldn't put the coat on me anymore.

"Gabe! I'm sorry!"

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything wrong," I step back each time he steps a foot closer to me. I forget why I even stayed alive for so long-Freddie?

"I'm sorry, Gabe. Forgive me!"

"You didn't do anything wrong!" I choke on my own words. "You're a weird...I wish you the best with your boyfriend. You deserve a start over from scratch."

"Leo?" Gray looks confused for a second and then realization surfaces, "Gabe you're part of my family."

I jump up and down, "Oh, that is real close. That's a good one, but not what I wanted. Just leave me be. I have been thinking about it, Leo doesn't change anything."

"If I can't make you stay, think about Jen and Ben. They're your brothers, they need you," his lips shiver from the cold.

"Hmm..." I pretend to think about it and then say, "They're better off without me. I'm sure of it."

I smile and move to the edge of the roof and climb onto the mount that stopped the extension of the roof.

"Stop!" Ray appears at the door. She rushes to stand beside Gray.

Why do these people only care when it is dramatic? I laugh as I think about it in my heart.

I pull the ring out of my tiny finger and threw it to Ray, "Tell Ralph that I'm sorry. I can't be his bride."

Standing up here really has a different feeling. I feel so free. I wonder if my feet doesn't touch the earth, will I be more free?

Hey! Thank you for reading!! I am so glad I can write about my own suicidal thoughts through Gabe's character 😤 Don't worry I am okay.

(Thank you for [always] voting 😍😍 @nanaboatengn and @BAKaiserIII)