Inconveniences

Chapter 23

If there was a god, any god, I swore to it. I swore to the Christian God, Odin, Zeus, Vishnu, Allah, and then proceed to even extend it past "magic people in the sky" to include the Buddha, Confucius, and the Pope.
I swore to every god that was ever believed to have existed, I was so pissed, I was seeing red. Red blots crowded my vision. Blood drops? Spilled wine? I didn't know what they meant.
I could have done what Justinus Kerner did only two years ago: write some poems on how he interpreted these meaningless patterns.
These red ink-looking blots.
I always believed that the German man was slightly off his rocker, but I finally understood him now.

It was nothing, it meant nothing.

I refuse to be some man's harlot! I deserve to be with someone who doesn't think that I am nothing!
I refuse to ever let him use me like that again!

If only Connor could help me with that anymore...

Connor won't just kiss me to kiss me anymore. How could he, if I'm like his little sister?
I would love to piss Mr Lancaster off, but I can not imagine myself using Officer Hansen or either one of the St. Laurent's to do it.
Using the men would be just as bad as Mr Lancaster using me!

Unless I gave them a quick disclaimer?

Is that something I could do?
Would I really have the nerve to pull off such a stunt?
I refused to be another one of Mr Lancaster's bedroom conquests. Perhaps faking an engagement would work...?
How would I go about that? "Hi (insert "Roger," "Michael," or "Julian"), would you be interested in faking an engagement with me? Only around Mr Lancaster? Yes, only around him. No one else would know. And yes, it most definitely is a fake engagement!"
Fake engagements.
I thought back to the time Mr Lancaster said that we would have to pretend to be married in Venezuela. Luckily, it never came to that point since I did such a great job completing our mission in a timely manner!
Angrily, I continued with my work. I sifted through information on the St. Laurent's. Like I have noted before, they spent a lot of time in the Asiatic-Pacific region. Some of the new information, however, was that they also supplied some random countries' citizens with thing deemed illegal in their country. Many countries have decided that many innocent things are illegal- such as certain books.
The St. Laurent's seemed to be a jack of all trades.
I wondered if they were one of the groups running opium into China, but I hoped they weren't.
It just seemed like they secretly got Western culture into countries that didn't like western culture (which, honestly, is understandable).
Again, I hope that excluded getting an entire country addicted to opium. I, however, have learned (especially recently, being in Mr Lancaster's presence so much) to never get my hopes up. It's just a waste of time that leads to useless, wasteful emotions.

Christ, Amy! You really do sound like Mr Lancaster!

Well, maybe he was onto something with this "ignore your feelings and they will go away" thing. Perhaps I could learn a little.
I researched the St. Laurent's for a few hours. A few? Probably more. It was about one o'clock when I started, and now it's... Well, I don't have a pocket watch on me, so I'll just just assume it is now five- for no particular reason, really, five just sounded like a good number.
The door loudly swung open, hitting the wall with a crash.
"What the bloody hell!" I screamed in shock. I ripped the paper I was holding, almost completely in half. Of course, the only man who could perform such an entrance was Mr Lancaster. "Would it kill you to knock!" I kept scolding. His head lolled to the side, giving me a funny look. "What's wrong with you, Mr Lancaster?"

He is impossible!

"Me? What's wong- wrong with you?"
He started laughing at 'wong.' Mr Lancaster seemed strangely happy? No, perhaps relaxed?
"What time is it, sir?"
"Hol' up a sec, I gotta check..."
I watched with horrified amusement as he fumbled around his coat pockets. When he found it, he triumphantly smiled.