Nightmares

<~Chapter 42~>

I went in and sat down on the bleachers next to Johnny.

"Jay were you crying?" I gave him the note and he read it and looked at me

"I don't want to talk about it" I mumbled looking at Bri playing the game she loves.

Bri's pov
Minutes earlier....
I look into the bleachers again, he's still not here. "Aww your dads not here is he?" The girl I was guarding mumbled again for the third time

I pushed her and she pushed me back and I turned and pushed her with all my force knocking her on the ground. She got up and pushed me again until we ended up fighting. Someone pulled me back and I looked up to see dad. I pushed against his arms, he tightened them around me as the ref signaled that I was ejected

"Hey calm down" dad pulled me out of the gym with me trying with all my strength to get back to the girl to punch her in the face.

He lightly pushed me into the wall and sat me down on the ground. I was breathing heavy and trying to catch my breath and calm down. "Can you please just calm down?"

"None of this would have happened if you were here when the game started"

"I had somewhere to be"

"You know I don't do as well when you're not here"

"I know and I'm sorry"

"Where were your anyways?"

"Miss Amy"

"They aren't coming back right"

"No it's not that, it's"

"It's what"

"Let's go home"

We went home and I sent Bri to her room. "You're home early?"

"She got ejected from the game, and I had to meet miss Amy, the lady at the place where Bri was and she gave me this"

I handed it to her and she read it with tears filling her eyes.

"She could have died before you met her?"

"When I was enjoying my birthday, she was thinking about ending her life"

"Jay she's still here"

"Yeah" I wrapped my arm around her

"You need to tell her"

"I know"

I called Bri back down and and jess sat down next to me.

"Dad are you ok?"

She saw my eyes that were still a little red. "Yeah I'm fine"

"Uh Bri can we talk?" Jess spoke up

I handed Bri the note and she took it from me. She read it quietly and she grabbed my hand and tightened her grip around my hand.

She finished reading it, I sat there in silence, "why didn't you tell me?"

"I- I just couldn't"

"I- we- we could have never met" I struggle out, jess gave me a pat on my shoulder, "I think you two should talk I'll be upstairs" she left and Bri cried and wrapped her arms around me.

"Dad I'm so sorry"

"We could have never met- if you went thro-through with it"

"I know, I know"

"Please don't leave me ok, don't ever think about it again"

"I won't, I haven't since you adopted me"

"I couldn't imagine you doing that"

"I know dad"

I wrap my arms tighter around her. "Please do tell me if you ever feel that way"

"I will Dad"

She got up and went up to her room. "Jay"jess started as she came down the stairs

"I don't want to talk about it" I got up and went up to Bri's room

I go in and she is sitting on her little balcony off her room. The place she always goes when she is upset.

"Did you try more than once?"

She didn't look at me. She knew what I was talking about.

"Baby look at me"'

She looked up at me with tired eyes, "I love you so much, please don't ever do it to yourself, I can't live without you" I said sitting next to her

"I was so close the day before you met me, the first time or two I tried and either someone came knocking on my door, but I wrote the note stole miss Amy's pills and was going to do it"  I grasped onto her hand

"Please, I can't take life without you, I hate it when you cry and are hurting so please let me help you" my voice cracking

"There is nothing to do, I'm damaged, I'm not normal, why did you even adopt me!" She moved away from me and wrapped her arms around herself

"Because I'm not normal either, and you needed saving, and I wanted to save you, and I do want to help you because I can't stand you looking at me with hurt and fear in your eyes"

"Dad——I—- don't want to do it anymore"

She had both of her hands over her face as she paced around her room. I grabbed her arm and pulled her into me.

"Listen to me, your staying here, you are not leaving me, got it?"

She nodded, "please let me help you"

"Ok"

"Just please"

"I won't dad" she leaned over and kissed my cheek

I don't even know how to help. "What do I need to do to help?"

"Make my past go away"

"You know I wish I could, I would do anything for you to not have that, I would have adopted you years ago if l knew"

"Just pretend it didn't happen, just for me, I can't stand thinking about it"

"I'll do anything for you"

"I just want to try to be normal"

"I'll help you do anything you need me to"

"I just don't want the sympathy, I don't want a I'm sorry for your past anymore, it is what it is, it was bad but whatever it's over now" she left to go downstairs

"Hey come here"

"I just wanna be alone"

I grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "I'll take you to get ice cream?"

"Fine I cant pass up free ice cream"

"Jess we're going out for ice cream!"

She came down and gave Bri a hug. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine mom" she said and I could see jess smile when she called her that

"You coming?" She nodded and grabbed her shoes and we all headed out

A/N
Four updates in a row!
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Thanks!
Megan