One Shots

Little do you know

Authorcs note: Believe me, mahal ko ang KissEd/KissWard. Pero siguro hanggang dito nalang din muna ako. 💛

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"Lay your head on me, so lay your head on me.. 'cause little do you know, I love you till the sun dies."

· Kisses Delavin ·

Napahinga ako ng malalim nang maalala kong pupunta nga pala sila ng Singapore para mag-show doon. May iilang Kissables na nagtweet sa akin na akala nila ay kasama ako. Pero pagkatapos noong nangyari sa amin ni Marco ay hindi na muna kami pinayagan ng management na sumama sa Singapore.

Sobrang halo halo na yung emotion ko. Mula nung tinalikuran niya ako, oo hindi nga siya galit sa akin. Pero yung hindi siya naniwala sa akin? Mas masakit yata 'yon.

Kaya ko namang magpatawad. Kakayanin ko basta wag lang siyang mawala sa tabi ko. Pero sino bang niloko ko? Pumili na nga siya diba? Kumbaga sa trend ngayon, kinain na rin siya ng sistema.

Hindi ko rin alam kung saan ako nagkulang, kung bakit ganon nalang kadali sa kanya na tinalikuran ako? Kasi ako? Nandito ako naghihintay kahit na wala naman talaga akong hinihintay.

Ang hirap kasi.. ang hirap lumaban lalo na kung alam mong wala ka ng ipinaglalaban. Na ikaw mismo sinukuan ka na niya.

Oo nga pala, best friend niya nga pala. Na kahit ako 'yung pinaka-nasasaktan at pinaka-nahihirapan ay ako pa rin ang mali para sa kanya. Na 'yung loyalty at pagmamahal niya ay nasa best friend niya. Ano nga bang laban ko?

Hindi lang naman isa ang kalaban ko. Pati sarili kong kaibigan na ngayon ay mukhang kinain na rin ng sistema. Silang dalawa yung pinaka-inasahan kong hinding hindi ako iiwanan. Pero anong nangyari? Ako yung iniwanan nila. Ako yung naging kaaway at sila ang naging magkakampi. Ganoon ba talaga? Ganoon nalang ba talaga ang lahat?

Hanggang saan? Hanggang saan ko itatago ang lahat maprotektahan lang sila at ang career nila? Hanggang saan ko kakayanin ang panlalait ng mga taga-hanga nila? Hanggang saan ko pa kakayanin ang lahat? Dahil kung ako ang tatanungin? Hindi man ako naging mabuting kaibigan sa kanila ay hindi ko kailanman naisipang talikuran sila.

Right now, I am learning that it is okay to stop fighting. To lay down my arms. To let things be.

Maybe in another universe, we can be.

But in this universe we got in, I am choosing our closure, I am moving on, and I am accepting of what you have chose that it wasn't me, it was her all along.

And in this universe, I am setting you free, Edward John Barber. I'm hoping someday, you might find the way back to me.

· Edward Barber ·

What have you done? You left her without hearing her side. What have you done? You broke all the promises you made to her. What have you done? You broke her into pieces while she was trying to make you whole.

Before the show starts, I saw her pictures. She's slaying. My girl is slaying the runway. Wow, never thought she'll be walking on ramp stage sooner. It was one of her bucket list, she wanted to do that when she turned on her twentieth but look at her now, she made it while she's still in her eighteenth.

Little do she know, I'm proud of her. I am so proud of all her achievements. I may not tell the world or even her, I know in my heart and in my mind I am proud of her. Beyond proud.

Ang hirap pala. Ang hirap pala na magpangpanggap na wala ng pakialam. Because deep down, I know I still care about her. Everyone was saying I'm on Marco's side, no. I never went to Marco's side whenever the situation was her and him. I can't even talk to Marco for days because of what I'm feeling.

But, what can I do? I chose this path. I chose to turn my back on her. I wish I could turn back time, I might fight for her.

My heart hurt so bad when I saw her picture with Tanner. Wow, Tanner has the guts now to took a photo with her. I smiled bitterly, how I wish I was Tanner for this day. But nope, I have to make myself stronger. This is the life I chose.

Maybe in another universe, we can be together; maybe in another universe we won't experience what we are experiencing now or maybe the world won't turn his back the way it did to us today, maybe in another universe we won't fall inlove and then leave.

Maybe in another universe we won't have doubts for each other, we don't need to worry about the people who are againsts us, we won't be worrying about regretting the paths we chose because we were together, we won't be worrying about ourselves for taking risks because we will support each other no matter what.

But as time pass by, I am trying my best not to think about the “what ifs.”, because right now we are living in an universe where love isn't enough. Where love doesn't win. Right now? I am here without you, and in this universe I am teaching myself to live with it... to be okay with that.

So, yeah... maybe in another universe, you and I are happy and we are willing to fight for that. We are happy and that is all we need.

But not here, not in this universe. I hope you knew what was I  doing.. the trips we planned in different countries? I am taking all of it alone. the music we've learned to love? I am listening to all of it alone. the food we've learned to eat? I am eating all of it alone.

There's only one thing that I am sure of, you are healing. You are growing. God, you deserve every blessings you are getting. I am so happy for you, even if I am not there for you. I am learning how to be thankful for this universe we got in because in this universe, I found you. I met you.

But for now, I have to set you free, Kirsten Danielle Delavin. I'm hoping someday, I might find the way back to you.