Try me, Mr. 'Bad Boy'

Try me// You're like ten.

Try me// You're like ten.

"Come on. It's not a big deal." My older brothers tried to push me to do something completely foolish.

I rolled my eyes and sipped my drink, "Mom and dad didn't raise a fool. A psychotic bitch maybe, but no fool."

"Language." Mom warned me as she and dad joined the table again. While we waited for food, dad wanted to go out and smoke so mom went with him even though she doesn't smoke. I have a feeling based off moms facial expression that they didn't do any smoking outside. Gross.

"Honey, can I talk to you?" Dad asked me hesitantly and I nodded and followed him outside.

"What's up?" I asked acting completely oblivious. I know what he's talking about.

"How are you doing, today?" He asked me and I shrugged.

"I'm fine. It's no big deal anymore." I lied straight through my teeth.

"God you're just like your mother." He shook his head, "Honey, your best friend killed herself on this day two years ago. She was like your sister. You and Jasmine's." He said bluntly and my jaw clenched.

"She did it herself. She didn't want to be here anymore. Jas and I couldn't stop her. It's whatever. I'm fine, dad. I promise." I replied half heartily. He sighed and hugged me before pressing a kiss to my forehead before leading me back inside. I took my seat and fiddled with my straw as everyone around me spoke to one another.

Some days, I wonder how it would be like if she were still here.

Would she be out with your friends?
Would she be sitting with us here at home?
Would she be playing with her cousins?

The wonders and the what ifs, hurts so much as if a knife was stabbed into my heart.

The morning she died, I didn't know what to do, I couldn't believe it, my best friend. My sister.

Jasmine and I had just seen her two days before, who would have thought that something tragic would have happened in a few days. Who could've known that she would have overdosed on drugs. Who knew she even did drugs? We were fourteen. I want her to know, I'm not mad at her, and I'm not going to wish for her to come back because she's gone forever and nothing can bring her back. All I wish for, I wish she had talked to me or someone else about how she was feeling. Maybe, if she had she'd still be here. I hope she's okay, wherever her soul went.

"Are you excited to start school?" Mom asked with a wide smile. I shrugged and took a bit of my burger.

"I'm excited." Hayden started matter of factly, "Fresh start."

"You're like ten. Why do you need a fresh start?" I scowled at my little sister and she rolled her eyes.

"I'm twelve. And I mean new friends and stuff." She grumbled.

"Well that's great, sweetie." My mom glared at me, "You're going to make a lot of new friends. And so will you, Riley."

"Hopefully." I sighed and sipped my soda. While everyone began chatting, I slyly slipped my headphones and shuffled my music.

Maybe a new school isn't such a bad thing. New friends, new opportunities, a fresh start. I mean, no one here will be scared to talk to me because of my last name. No one here will even know anything about my family history. I can be cool for once in my life.

The more I thought about it the more excited I got for tomorrow. Things are only as good as I make them. As long as I don't shun people away and attempt to be social, I'll be okay.

But the social part is hard. I hate people.