"Did he find out?" Mikey and Rye // ROADTRIPTV

Pick one

Mikeys POV

I wake up from all the guys talking.

"Morning sleepyhead"
Rye says and starts playing with my hair. I shift slightly to get more comfortable and then snuggle back up to rye.

"No no Mikey you can't fall back to sleep it's 11 we have things to do!" Brook says.

I just groan and rye laughs.

"Come on let's go"
Rye says and he lifts my head and makes me sit up.

I open my eyes and look at him.

"Go where?"

"I don't know. Let's go for a walk"
He says.
Meanwhile jack and brook discuss the video we are recording at 2.

"You don't have long so if you are I suggest going now so when you come back ye have time to shower and stuff"
Jack says and Andy agrees.

"Yes be back by 12" he says.

"Okay come on"
Rye practically pushes me off the bed. I grab clothes and walk into the bathroom like a zombie.
I change and walk back out and into the room and rye is basically ready too.

"We will be back!" He says and we go.

"So how was your sleep?" I ask rye as we walk along the street while the wind whistles in our ears.

"Amazing and I know yours was too by how comfortable you looked"
He says bumping into me as a joke.
Obviously being me I genuinely almost fall.

"Oh" I laugh as I catch myself before I hit the ground. He laughs as me for a solid 30 seconds before we carry on walking.

"So,
What do you and Andy do when you go for your walks?"

Well most of the time we talk about my issues but I can't really say that.

"Oh we just walk around and talk about stuff"

"What kind of stuff?"
He looks at me.

I shouldn't tell him just yet as I'm not even really sure about things in my own head and saying it could make me realise I'm wrong, or right, but I'm not taking any chances just yet.

"Life. How we are"
I stuff my hands in my pocket. Clearly slightly awkward.

"Right. And how are you?"

He looks at me again and I feel like I could crumble under his gaze.
Today really isn't off to a good start.
Not because of Rye but just because of myself in general. I feel anxious, sad and I want to talk more but no words come out.

"I'm good. How about you?"
I manage to choke out.

"I'm good too. Just don't know how you both manage to talk about that over a 15-30 minute walk almost daily. How do you?"

His voice sounds. Different.

"Why are you asking so many questions?"
I whisper to myself but he hears me.

"Sorry am I hurting your feelings?"

We stop walking and turn to face each other.

"Well you're definitely being insensitive?"

"Am I?" He answers almost immediately, raises his voice slightly and steps closer to me.

I just look down.

"Are you intimidated?"
He says. Breathing right into my face.

I look up at him. His eyes are different. They don't have the same light the had last night, even just minutes ago.

I just watch him and he stares me right down.

I break it by stepping backwards and walking away.

"What? Is this how you handle all of your problems? Just walking away?"

He yells at me. I don't turn around to look but I can imagine him waving his hands in the air. My eyes start watering and I'm not sure if it's because of what just happened or because of the wind that's blowing so hard in my face right now.

"Fine. Ignore me"

I did just as he was saying and walked around the corner. I pull out my phone to call Andy.

"Hello?"

As soon as I heard his voice I burst into tears.

"mikey?! Hello? Are you okay?!"

"Why did you tell him?"

It's all I could spit out. The anger started to rise in me. Did I really have no one who I could trust? Maybe all my 'friends' do actually hate me.

"Tell who what? Where are you?"

"You told me what we talked about was safe. Why did you lie"
I basically breathe the words down the phone as Andy throws a bunch of questions at me and they all go in one ear and out the other.

"Where are you?"
"What happened?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Where's Rye?"

"I'm going home for a bit"
I say. My emotions fading to nothing.

"Yes okay I'll see you soon"

"No Andy I'm going home home I just need some time"

"No mikey can we talk first please?"

I stay silent.
Did he tell him? Anything? About whatever? I need to know before I make any big decisions.

"Meet me By our local shop in 5 minutes"

I hang up the phone and start walking.

If Andy told Rye anything I shared then I can't trust him but also rye acted horribly about whatever he knows.
Do the other guys know?
Is that why they suggested us to go for a walk?
What would have happened if I reacted to Rye?

So many questions run around my head to the point where I stop walking and lean against a wall to catch my breath.
One part of my brain is telling me I'm over reacting, stupid for seeing it played out this way. It's saying "no wonder your 'friends' hate you" then the other half is saying.
If that's how Rye acted i will have to leave the band, cut ties. Forget about this part of my life.
"Think sensibly and quit this all"

And a small little peace of my brain is screaming at me for thinking? Feeling? Creating? Knowing? That I like Rye more than just a friend. That I like when he holds my hand, kisses my cheek and even when he makes inappropriate jokes. I like it. I like him.

And a part, smaller than the rest, is telling me
"You're so dumb. End it all because no one cares"

And yet the only thing I'm thinking is

What one do I listen to?