Discoveries ✔ (Divergent Fourtris Fanfiction)

Chapter 27: Monday, 5 days until initiation

Tobias

I wake up lying on my stomach, with a warm palm running up and down my back under my shirt. She is still here. Oh Tris.

I turn my head around, so I can look at her and I'm overwhelmed by the gentleness and love that she's watching me with.

"Morning," she whispers, the smallest smile playing on her lips as our eyes meet, and then it's gone again.

"Morning," I say silently, trying out my voice.

"You fell asleep."

"Yeah, finally."

She keeps stroking my back with her palm, reassuring me of her support. I know that she must feel all of my scars under her hand, without us kissing to distract her from the pattern on my skin. It's difficult to bear that she might be thinking about all the pain Marcus ever has inflicted on me right now, to accept that she does not only know about it, but willingly wants to caress my back despite it, as if she could mend the traces those injuries left on me with her loving touch.

Maybe she can.

Her patience makes me want to fill the silence with words, to confide in her, to explain myself, to tell her what's going on, today, when yesterday I couldn't.

"Can you come over again tonight? I... I need, want, to talk to you."

"Of course I will. What time?"

"I'd say around eight, after dinner. I'm sorry I don't have time earlier. I wish we could stay in bed together, just to talk right away. But I have to arrange meeting Eric, and before that I should talk to Lauren. And then there are the simulations and training."

I sigh. It's really going to be a long day.

"Yes, the Dauntless duties... So then I'll be here at eight."

I'm relieved that she agrees to coming over.

"Tobias," she says hesitantly, "are we okay? I mean, this is not about us, is it?"

"Oh no, Tris, no, no, it's not. I'm sorry I wasn't able to speak about it last night, but rest assured that we are fine, you and me. There's nothing that you have to worry about. I feel closer to you every day."

I sit up and pull her into a tight embrace as I kiss her desperately, and she kisses me back just as feverishly. We press our lips together so firmly it almost hurts, our hands running over whatever part of each other's body they can reach. There are no words to express what I feel for her right now, how much she means to me.

We break the kiss when we both run out of air, and I cup her face in my hands. "I'll tell you, tonight. Just right now, there's not enough time, and I need to focus on the tasks ahead, or I won't be able to get them done."

"Do you feel alright? I mean, to face the day? Maybe Lauren could take over training."

"I'm thankful that you care for me like that, but I think I'll manage."

"It's natural that I care. You can rely on me, Tobias. You can trust me with whatever it is that happened to you yesterday."

"I will. I do."

"Okay, then I guess I'll see you in the simulation room."

I swallow. I hope she doesn't have a sim in which she's afraid of me in any way today. I don't know if I could bear it on top of everything else. But I don't say it out loud. I don't want to add any more pressure on her shoulders. She's helping me so much already, although she probably doesn't realize the amount of her support.