Discoveries ✔ (Divergent Fourtris Fanfiction)

Chapter 17: Friday, 8 days until initiation

I'm anxious of what she'll tell me, wondering if I've made her fear worse after all.

"Did you notice why I realized it wasn't real?"

"Indeed."

I haven't given it much thought, though. I was too focused on Christina's part in the whole scenario. But now that Tris spells it out to me, the deeper meaning behind it is obvious.

"So your trust in me has grown."

She nods, and we both smile before we turn serious again.

"You said it was still up to you to decide when you want to have sex, and I want you to know that I totally agree with that," I assure her.

"But initiation."

She doesn't have to say more than that, reducing the whole issue to those two small words.

"I know it's drawing nearer, but it doesn't help us to feel pushed by that date. Neither of us. We should go as fast or slow as we want, and then we'll see what happens."

"So, when you say it does help neither of us, does it mean you're afraid, too?" she asks, brows furrowed.

"Terrified," I chuckle softly, and I'm sure she'll understand how I mean it.

Her next question comes out of nowhere, but it's only logical that she would ask that.

"Were you able to delete my simulation? It was so stupid I showed I was aware of it."

"Oh, I didn't have to. The servers where they usually safe the footage on were removed a week ago. Eric informed us during the meeting last Friday that there were troubles with a virus that prevented the system from saving and keeping the data properly. So they disconnected the servers and brought them somewhere to have them repaired."

"What? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know, I just didn't spend much thought on it. I think they'll return them once they've figured out the problems. Until then, I just write a short memo about each simulation, and I always took one of your other fears as a cover."

"Okay, so I can be sure today's simulation won't cause us any problems?"

"Yes, be sure."

For some moments I enjoy the quiet and peace between us, and I hate that I have to upset Tris again. But there's no way I can keep this news to myself without causing even more trouble later on.

"Tris, to be honest, I have to confess that Zeke knows about us, too."

"You told him?"

I cringe at the incredulous edge to her voice. I can't blame her, though.

"It was more or less the same with him as it was with you and Christina. He already assumed I was having a secret girlfriend and then narrowed it down to you."

"You get angry at me for telling Christina when you told Zeke?!" Tris' voice gets louder, harsher.

"I know, I know. It was unfair and I'm so, so sorry, Tris. But I can't do more than apologize for it," I try to calm her, raising my hands apologetically, defensively.

After a minute's silence she snorts, "And you told me you wanted to be kind..."

"I said I was trying."

"Yes, I guess that's what you said. I hope you'll try harder next time."

The harshness with which she says it leaves no room for doubts, making her request perfectly clear to me.