Status: On-Screen

18. Realization

Zara Costanza

We were now back in Tom's apartment sitting on the couch. Earlier, I took a picture of Tom sitting across from me in the coffee shop while he was drinking his latte. I showed him the picture on my phone, "Aww! Look at this adorable photo!"

Tom's cheeks began to pink up, "Whatever, Costanza."

"Well, it's one of those very few moments you'll get to witness this, so appreciate it while you can."

"Tell me about how the Disney movie is going."

I smiled excitedly, "Okay. Well, you know you can't tell anyone about it, so not a word otherwise my career is doomed, alright?" Tom nodded his head. "I've been doing some singing training and lots and lots of fitting. And they've cast someone for the 'love interest' or the male's role," I said, feeling even more excited now that I had the chance to talk about this to someone.

"Who is it?"

I squealed, "Ansel Elgort!" Ansel was probably one of my favourite actors of all time. I loved him in The Fault in Our Stars and the Divergent series. In a few months, he was also going to be featured in Baby Driver.

"A-Ansel Elgort?" he repeated in a surprised tone. "Th-that's amazing. You should've suggested me!" The tone in his voice was sarcastic, but I couldn't get a good read on his expression. ]

"Tom, I hate to break it to you, but the world doesn't revolve around you, honey," I said in a sarcastic sincere voice and I put my hand on his shoulder dramatically. "Besides, I know that you're busy after the press tour for Spider-Man, so it wouldn't have worked out anyway. I feel almost terrible for being the lead female role because people would literally kill me to have this role-even though no one knows about it. You know? I mean, every girl has a crush on Ansel at one point in their life-"

"Yeah, but that kind of stuff fades. Everyone's got a few celebrity crushes who they adore for a few weeks and then forget about, so I mean, does it really count as a crush? Think about it... imagine all of the girls who fawn over me. It's a phase for a little until there's some other guy to fawn over," he said in a sarcastically cocky tone.

"Geez, no need to be such a prick. Gosh, Holland," I said, while playfully punching his chest.

"Are you jealous?" Tom asked in a sarcastic and dramatic tone.

I laughed, "I should be asking you that question. My answer is why would I have a reason to be jealous? Who do you think I am? Your girlfriend?" I realized after I said that, that I definitely could've chosen to say something else instead of that.

We both shared a moment where we stared at each other for a split second. His cheeks began to turn a different colour, and then we both laughed.

Afterwards, I began to actually think about it. Imagine if I was his girlfriend. 

What if I was his girlfriend? No, I was being silly.

I could never be his girlfriend. He is Tom Holland. He did have girls lined up for him... he was kind of right, actually...

So why am I feeling jealous?

But it's not really jealousy... right?

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Time flew by as I hung out at Tom's for the next few hours. I only had a few days off with all of the training for the movie and now, things were going to go back to how my life had been for the past month.