Condemning Conspiracy

E: Moving In T: Agravated

           Let me start with HOW STUPID I AM. I sprayed her perfume because the room smelled like shit. I told myself I would regret it. Now my heart is thumping. I can feel her embrace and I’m almost in tears. This is her memory. I bought the perfume she uses because she always forgot hers at home back then so being the amazing boyfriend I was I put it in my backpack and let her use it when she needed… Course every guy in the locker room who thought it was funny that I had a girls perfume in my backpack kept giving me hell but me and her were the longest relationship next to a friend of ours so I had them at that… I even kept some of the um. Lady deals. Lol. Okay I’m mature. Some pad in my backpack because twin thought it was cute and funny to add some just in case she didn’t have any on hand and Lily just went with it.

                My god I’m crying. Normally, shit like this is supposed to kill me but I’ve learned my limits on this specific spray because she always wanted to spray it while standing next to me, almost killed me a few times, until I was like, “Let me do it.” I feel like cuddling up with teddy bear that she gave me. We switched stuffed animals. Now I’m jittering. Okay. I’m leaving it at I’M NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN.

                If I’m ever going to have a chance to get over her. This needs to go. I’ll give it to some random chick who thinks it smells nice or whatever. I want to break down and scream. I need to get this out of my system though. I want to tell you guys what’s going on in my life.

Xavier moving in:

                Xavier’s having problems with his dad. Always had. Don’t worry, his dad’s a creep and it’s really hard for him to get a date because his dad pops out of nowhere. He’s super protective. So since Xavier’s  about to be twenty he decided to ask my aunt if he could move in with us and she said sure. Well, I was at work at my first job and he shows up exclaiming that he already moved his shit into the house because I was stupid enough to leave the door unlocked but oh well. I have a queen sized bed so I didn’t think too much of it.

                Well, I forgot that I’m the only one in the family other than the people involved who knows about the reason for Xavier and his dad’s fight. It’s about Bennette. They got caught sleeping together. Luckily, he didn’t walk in on them. (I’m the only one who has done that…) I swear I’m going to time shit just right so he does the same thing and I’m going to laugh so hard.

                Anyways, I called my sister, the oldest one, Twin knows too but that doesn’t really matter. When I mentioned the fight she was like… wait what? And it totally knocked me out of the water. I realized at that moment that I was the only one who knew. I’m his best friend in the family. Which makes me feel a bit bad because I’ve kept one secret away from him. That’s about Matrina. He doesn’t know it’s her.

                I keep getting side tracked. It has to do with the perfume. I’m getting high off of it and reverting into my memories which or going through my head by the way and making me scream mercy. Besides that, I mentioned it and then I told her that Xavier was moving in. Early, I was talking to a couple of friends about being babied.

                You see, Xavier is twenty but has never been out of the house AND his dad won’t let him make his own decision. I believe Xavier can do what he wants to do when he puts his mind to it. Our family is known for being hard workers. Xavier is no exception to that. We wanted to move out of the house and get an apartment. My sister thinks that we can’t handle it. We probably can’t. However, we will never know until we try and these friends are the ones I’m going to turn to for now on because I feel the constriction around my wrist. My sister doesn’t want me to grow up in all honesty and neither does my brother in law but based off of the situations that I’ve been through in the past year of having to be forced into leadership? I believe I can do it. I work better under pressure anyway. I’m not good at being a laid back person. Besides, Xavier WANT to get out of the house. I believe we can do it. For now, we need to start by getting rid of this queen sized bed. We need to get a bunk bed because we’re awesome little kids that doesn’t like to take shit seriously.

                I’m never spraying this perfume again. I can see my heart pounding out of my chest. I’ve been talking with a couple of friends of mine about this whole Lily situation and Xavier moving in. I’m happy I have them but I’m still panicking. Oh well. I tried to explain everything…