12.01.2013
I know you don’t want me to cut
But the urge Is just so much
I have so much built down inside me
I don’t know how to get rid of it
There’s so many things wrong with me
But so many things that are right
It balances out
But a knife
Just a quick slit
I’ll feel better
I’ll feel so strife
Physically
I can take any hit
Any bite
Any burn
And cut
So bruise me up
Do it
Because I can take a shit
But once you touch me emotionally
I break down
I melt down
I cry
I scream
I hurt my fist
My words
They become a blue
I hate myself
Anything about me
I’m so talented
I’m not saying that to be conceded
But I can’t choose
What I want to ‘work’
I’m hurting
I know I am
And I know you want to help me get through it
But you’re another reason
Why I don’t want to
Because if you do
Then we’ll stay together
And I don’t know where I’m be in the end
I can tell you one thing though
I have a plan
And I can’t change things
I have my mind set
And no one gets in the way
I want to work things out
But I’m afraid
I’m afraid that it means, no doubt
That we stay together
Which isn’t bad
But
I can’t really say we can
Here’s the thing
I love you
I really do
I can’t say I can’t at this point
But I don’t love me
I never have
You can’t make me
Just as I can’t make you do anything
And I appreciate who I am
But I don’t love me
I’d look up to myself if I wasn’t me
I write
Day after day
Night after night
How to get through
My emotions
This is how I get through it
It’ not easy
I never said it would be
But I can tell you that I’m scared
I want you
But I’m afraid things will work out the same as before
We’ll have an amazing time
But the show will end
And then we must go our separate ways
Darling
I need to know
How to get you to understand
I am your teacher
As well as your boyfriend
But I can only do so much
I get you to smile
I know you don’t want to talk about certain things
But we have to
And this is a problem
This is one of the many things wrong
With me
YOU ARE READING
Condemning Conspiracy
PoetryCensure the scheme of those who know not what they have done but reveal the results with a light show. Third book of the Evolution series brings the passion of poetry to life ending the series with a bow.