Condemning Conspiracy

Story: Doubling Over T: Confused

"I know this is stupid, and I'm sorry, but I really miss you." Placing the phone down he sighs. She'll never care about him again. She wants to let go of him. She wants to let go of everything that happened in the past. He is part of that past. 

  He sits in his car and lies in silence. The tears fall from his tears as he stares at his truck ceiling. There's no hope. Give up. What exactly are you going to do? You can't change someone who doesn't want to be changed. His thoughts swirl he feels his heart thump. He wishes she would let him be a part of her life. He wants her to be happy. Does he ruin the happy for her? He thinks starting to doubt himself. 

  He destroyed her. The reason why she's like this in the first place is because of him. He killed the woman he loved. Now she dares not to revive. He listens to the cool april wind and closes his eyes, tears still roll down his cheeks. 

  Pathetic. He hears his conscous say. Pathetic. Win her over. Show her how much you love her. Prove to her that there's more to you than this. Tell her that everyone makes mistakes. Not major ones. He argues. The mistake he made was that he let her go. If he would have stayed she would have stayed. She wouldn't have ran away. He loved her. He would always. But he couldn't have her. 

  If the love is meant to be it'll happen. He shakes his head. I can't wait for it to happen. I have to make it happen or make it impossible. One of the two. She's still in my reach. I need her. I'm lonely. There are so many people I should be talking to. She's the only one that I want to talk to but shouldn't. 

  The fact that she replied to him early surprised him. She gave him her attention for a split moment. She responded like she would have. With a question answering a question. "Had enough time to think?" He asked hoping it wouldn't sound bitter. "No." she said with interpretation. 

  Six months. Isn't that long enough? He sighed. He'd be leaving the country soon. And then once there he wouldnt be able to talk to her even if he wanted. He loved her. He knew he did. Otherwise he wouldn't be trying so hard to get her back. Or was he trying at all? 

  The letters he wrote to her were never seen. He brought her a sweater she never reieved. He wrote her a book that she knew about yet didn't accept. So then. Why was he still trying? Let go of her should of been the best answer yet he still fought. He fought for her attention. But why. He wanted her to know that she was his everything. He wasn't hers. Not even to the thought. It almost was unbearable. Somehow, on some days. He felt the need to hold her. Yet. There was no her to begin with. He murdered the woman he loved oh so long ago. So then, who was the woman he so desperately bowed to at comand? 

  The strength a woman has over a man. He thought. She didn't even want that power. He sighed. He needed to let go of her. She already let go six months ago. Why did he have hope? Because he knew that he was a fighter. He didn't accept the pain inside of him to make him any stronger. He expected it to make him do something inspiring. Hopefully, inspiring enough to get over her.