Condemning Conspiracy

E: Last Battle

I put all my emotion into this. I tried for this. I can't believe I wasted all of this on you. There's no reason for me to be cry over you. You were never mind in the beginning. You never will be. Why do I keep trying. What fire is left within me. Wel, you've done it sucessfully. Thank you very much. I'm done. You've put out my fire. With all my might and all my strength I seemed to not be strong enough for you. This is stupid. What happened. Why did I even try? Why do I keep trying. My heart beat thumps. Who ever is next, I won't keep. I probably won't have another. I'll try and try and try again but I wll never be devoted to another. Never again. This is wrong. Hopefully in years I'll read this and laugh. When I find the one and only for me. Who ever it is. Please. I'm on my knees. I'm in tears. I've been stabbed and I've stumbled. Who ever is next please take the test and gather my heart's pieces with delicate handles. 

The urge to slit my wrist for you. I"m hurting. I want to bear the shit out of someone. I'm yearning. I want to run with someone. I don't want to open up again. This time I'm different I can see myself shutting up. NOt finding another for a while. I guess that;s fine considering that I was fighting for miles. 

Moments pass and I cry. I break myself in two. I"m left, beaten, bruised, and swollen from what I did to get you. And here I am punching myself in the mirror. There shouldn't be another chance. Why the hell am I even trying to find someone to dance? In hopes of hiding my tears. I'm not afraid to let them know because I come off to strong and it's okay to pretend like I didn't know. 

Minutes pass and it feels like foreve. A minute has turned into ten. I'm sobbing. I've been waiting for this hurt yet my heart feels as normal as ever. It's as if it knew that I didn't belong and my mind forces the tears. Alone for now and probably for a while. A journey to risk for the rest. I've done my best to fight for her and now she has gone her own path. 

Stop fighting these useless flashy battles. This isn't worth your stamina and what ever is left.