Condemning Conspiracy

E: Hope. T: Thoughtful

The reality of the pressure on my mother right now didn’t cross me until she cried. All me and my mother have done is argue. When I was younger I hated it. And I still do. But now I understand why we do. We have a language barrier. She’s also deaf so I can’t blame her. During my age of seventeen my mother finally came out and told me how her life was. She let me know who she was. That was probably the greatest feeling in the world.

Now my father is working but killing himself in the process. They have to go to San Antonio to get him treated. I don’t want him to drive. I might just pitch in. I know I’m the best driver but to save my dad? My ability can strengthen within time.

It also didn’t occur to me that the fact that I’m graduating means that I’m ‘leaving’. It didn’t mean much really. She never actually saw me until weekends. She’s always at work when I’m home.

I want to live my life freely but I doesn’t seem that way. I have to take care of my mom. I’m the only one who really can. The man of the house. Woo… Not cool. This store. I’m stilling at the family business. Also next to my father’s business. My mother doesn’t take death easily. Not saying that she should but I’ve grown accustom to it.

This school year has been a stressful one. My friend Jay Roberts died in the summer of last year. Am Karr died in a car accident this year and well… Now my good friend Jose Alcala died this week. I also found out that one of the customers that comes to the store died this week as well.

I’m not crying. Crying over death hasn’t captured me in a while. I don’t know why. I feel heartless sometimes. Oh and I almost forgot. My cousin’s grandmother died as well. It’s stressful as I said. And it’ll only get worse.

The one thing that I don’t get it why sell T-Shirts in remembrance? I don’t understand. Now that I’m talking about bad luck I remember that Gabe Reel has a shattered arm but my good friend Dusty Smith has brain damage from the wreck they got into.

In August I planned to move out. I need a stable job since I quit my last one. Today I went to the local newspaper station and talked with them about Freelance Writing. They pay a good seventy five dollars per story! Woo! I’m not in for the money I’m in for the experience.

Wish me luck. This next month is going to be a difficult one.