Chapter 32: Goodbye For Now

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~Taylor~

Zac has to leave again today, I was not happy about that and now I might get pregnant so it's gunna be horrible having to give birth alone if I do. I was happy Zac was able to come home for Tessa's birthday, but I wish he could be done with this whole thing now. I'm ready to have him home for good again. I felt him move a little so I turned to look at him.

"Good morning." I said monotonously.

"Good morning, are you okay?" He asked groggily.

"Are you staying now?" I asked him innocently.
"No...?" He replied with confusion in his voice.
"Then no, I'm not okay. But thanks for asking." It came out a little more bitchy than I had intended but he understood.
"I'm really sorry, only 4 more months."
"4?!" He said it was only 2 more.
"Yeah it got moved over a little." He said sadly.
"Ugh, Zac!" I said annoyed.
"I know, I'm so sorry. Don't hate me..." He said seriously.
I raised my eyebrows at him while frowning, then lowered them. "I could never hate you Zac..." I said seriously as well. "I love you, even when I'm upset with you." I finished.
"Well I love you too." He said, dejecting his gaze past mine.
"What?" I said looking at him still.
"I'll just miss you a lot." He said.
"I'll miss you too. So much." I said, suddenly saddened again by the thought of him being gone.
I wasn't looking forward to all the nights without him again, I wasn't looking forward to feeling empty and feeling like I'm missing a piece of myself, and I wasn't looking forward to crying every time someone mentioned him. I was weaker than he was, but understandably.
"When do you leave?" I asked him.
"Noon. Just before lunch." He replied.
"So you won't be able to stay for lunch?"
"No, I'm sorry." I just frowned at him not knowing what else to say.

~Noon~
"Zac?" I looked up at him. We were still laying in bed. We've been laying here for 4 hours.
"Yeah?" He looked in my eyes.
"I love you...please don't leave." I started to cry.
"Oh, Taylor, please don't cry..." He said weakly. I just cried and looked at him.
"I love you so much and I'll be back. I promise."
"You don't know that!" I raised my voice.
"....You're right. I don't. But I do know that I'll do whatever I can to make sure I make it home to you." He said seriously.
"I'm holding you to that." I replied with the same seriousness.
That's when the doorbell rang. I broke down.
"Taylor..." Zac wrapped my up as I just cried again. So hard.
"Please don't leave!" I cried into his shoulder.
"I'm sorry, I have to..." he stroked my hair.
"Please...I'll do anything..." I entreated.
"Taylor, I'm so sorry but I have to go..." He said sadly.
"But I have to wait 4 months! That's a long time!" I cried.
"I know but just think about how good it'll feel to have be back for good then!" He finished. I cried into him a little more and he just held me. The doorbell rang again.
We got up and he looked me in the eyes.
"I love you so much." He said softly to me.
"I love you so much more..." I cried. The tears burned the hell out of my eyes but I couldn't stop them from falling. The love of my whole life was leaving. Again. For 4 more months and I was so unhappy about it. I needed him. And I know he needed me too.
He leaned in and gently pressed his lips against mine, then deepened the kiss and locked our lips together. I kissed him with all the passion I had inside me. He pulled me closer making the kiss become even more deepened. I exhaled and then we broke apart. I just rested my head on his shoulder and he hummed into my ear, a soft tune. I was ready to sleep right there and then in his arms. But we couldn't do that. He had to go. We walked down the stairs with our hands intertwined. Then the girls came down.
"Daddy!" Melanie said speeding down the stairs.
"Hi angel." Zac said, picking her up.
"Do you have to leave?" She asked innocently.
"Yeah sweetheart, I do." He replied and then kissed her cheek.
"I love you, please come back soon!" She kissed him then and he set her down.
Then Tessa came down, still in her pajamas and she looked like a wreck. Tessa was so sensitive like me and had my exact personality. Melanie was more like Zac. She was brave and found positivity in everything. She didn't get that sad easily and always got over things quickly.
Tessa went over to Zac and tears fell from her eyes.
"I'll be home soon, sweetheart."
"Not soon enough..." She cried.
"Come here, it's okay." He pulled her into a hug. She hugged him back and buried her head into his neck.
"It'll be okay, I promise." He repeated to her.
"It won't be until you're back here." She stated.
"Shhh...be strong." He said.
I just watched them, I didn't want to intervene.
He came over to me once more and looked me in the eyes.
"I love you so damn much, please don't forget that." I started to cry yet again.
"I won't forget it, I promise." I started. "I love you so damn much too, Zac. Don't forget it either, please." I finished.
"I won't. Ever." He said finally.
He opened the door. "Hello, sorry it took so long, I was saying my goodbye's." Zac said politely.
"It's fine, just make sure you're done saying goodbye before we leave." An officer said. They were being nicer this time. They probably felt bad for adding time onto his tour. 2 more months than before does make a significant difference.
"Taylor, be strong for me okay?" He said turning to me again. I just nodded and then he leaned in to kiss me. I kissed him back with all I had.
"I love you...forever." I said through my tears.
"I love you, forever too." He kissed my head then let go of me.
"Goodbye..." Then just like that he was gone... again.
"Goodbye for now..." I whispered.

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