Previously titled END: The Decision is in Her Hands .
Rule 1: The richest in Elpidios ruled the future land.
Rule 2: No harm must be done upon the richest.
Rule 3: Resident below Area 2 in the Hierarchy must not enter the compound of above hierarch...
The year is 2249. About 200 years ago, flying cars were not the main type of vehicle used for transportation. Air-go-easy is what we call it not, was the transportation built on the 22nd century. I don't get why those early modern people didn't have the perseverance to make it exist much earlier. People were enthusiast with the idea since they wrote stories about it, and filmed it. They dreamed about making it but never actually made it until the world collapsed and restored to finally made up their mind to have Air-go-easy as the new world's transportation.
Even the Morpheus wasn't built until much later. The high-in outer space vacation spot, atom shaped metal, a little smaller than the size of the Earth's moon and crowded all the time. Despite of the cost to get there and the amount of money people need to spend while visiting there, it's a wonder how people can afford it. If I calculate the minimal cost spent for me to eat and stay there for a few nights in their shared bedroom, I can use the money for one year of my college fee.
Still, I'm not going to deny that it's a continuing luxury. No matter how many times I visit the station, I can never get rid of the sensation and amazement. The Darroch and their alliances sure keep an excellent work on making sure the station continues to be the fanciest hotel ever. My family loves to visit Morpheus, especially considering Darroch and Edelweiss has possibility to get married. The station was indeed my parents' wedding venue and both families want their children to be married in this grandeur hotel. However, it's unlikely that the Darroch's heir will choose the Edelweiss's heir as future partner. Gawain, maybe. But nothing has been decided yet, and even if they already did, I wouldn't have known. I haven't been to any of the Royals' event for a few years now and I haven't return back to Area 6 for 3 years already. My older sister just recently moved out from Area 6 to Area 1 after accepting a job in Elpidios Ministry of Finance as one of the accountant assistants and hell, I didn't even go back to celebrate the promotion last summer.
A lot of things happened to me for the past few years...
No! More like one thing happened about 4 and half years ago and I still hang on to it ever since.
VIDEO LOG: 01:43, DATE 6th MARCH 2249
DAILY LOG
I'd woken up from a night terror, my throat is sore, possible of screaming while in sleep. Ever since the shooting in Abigail, my sleeps have been disturb greatly. Nightmares are the problems. They led to my insomnia. The dreams were almost the same. They're different every night and I do have other kind of nightmares but the dream on the train is always the same, frequent and always terrifying.
I had it tonight.
I managed to get to bathroom, sit on the toilet, shivering. I felt like heat was sucked out from body. I waited until I calmed down and the shake passed before I washed my face.
I hate those dreams. They make me feel so helpless and lost, worse, I can never tell anyone about it. It's not a secret but opening it up to people is just... humiliating. I hold the rights to my family's throne and letting people know about this can be threatening to my status, they will think I'm a disposable. The looks they gave me when I return from the hospital was too unbearable, they were glazed with embarrassment and relieve. Relieve that my look is no longer has its glory.
But, on top of all, the scary thing is that I would consider myself insane. There are times when I thought about cutting but every times it crossed my mine, I ask myself, what good will it give me? After the great effort to ensure that my throne is still in my hands, why do I have to let it be ruin by suicide attempts? Am I really that weak? I can't let it turn into action, not matter how pressuring it is and no matter often it crossed my mind, I can't lose the fight now.
LOG PAUSE
I exhale as my hands shaken, getting up groggily to wash my face and hands again. As I wash away the sweats from the back of my neck and arms, I realise how my eyes have become bloodshot and glazed with traces of fear. I stomp out of the bathroom, walk to my closet, grab a new oversized shirt, remove my drench clothes, throw it into the laundry basket at the end of my bed before putting on a clean one. I stare into the darkness of my room, eyeing on every inch at every corner; wall to wall, furniture to furniture before walking to my desk; sitting in front of the PC again. I stare at the log, as I try to breathe calmly, I end the log, save it in the folder and begin the process to shut down the PC. The screen turn black few minutes after and there I sit in front of my dark screen staring at my reflection. Never would I ever thought, I'll be doing video logs and daily logs, it makes me feel like my life is ending soon.
"What am I doing here?" I ask myself and sigh as I face the darkness of my room. Slowly moving and feel the ache every where on my body, I get up from the chair, head to my bed, crawl in and tuck myself under the covers.
"It's only a dream." I whisper as I lie beneath the cover, telling myself that it was just a dream, one of my terrifying dreams. With my eyes wide open, I wonder if I can get a wink of good night sleep. "Only a dream." I repeat, chanting like a lullaby before I finally doze off.
As morning awakes me completely, I don't have to look at the time to know that I overslept. I curse under my breath as I jump out of the bed, the sudden arise gives me a slight dizziness making me stumble to the floor like a fallen lamp. Fantastic! I shake my head, get back on my feet and rush towards the bathroom. Knowing that I don't have time to make my bed and clean the bathroom, I run a light shower, brushed teeth and undergarment put on. The red light blinking from my micro recorder, alerts me.
