I'll Save You - Spirk

Chapter Seventy Eight

A/N
Hey guys, so this is a chapter I've been looking forward to writing for.... well pretty much since I started the book (really sorry it took so long). It didn't quite turn out the way I though it would, but I hope you like it anyway <3

*Jim's POV*

"I wish.... To meld with you. If you are willing."

I was stunned into silence. After a few minutes he glanced up at me, his eyes filled with worry.

"I am sorry, we do not have to of course - I am sorry, I should not have said anything."

"Spock," I muttered, pulling him into a hug. "No, I'm sorry. I was just surprised. I.... I would like to meld with you, but only if you are 100% sure you're ready."

"I am." Spock pulled back and looked up at me, his face lighting up.

"Okay, so how do we do this?" I asked excitement rising within me.

Spock leaned in to press a gentle kiss to my lips, then gazed at me lovingly. "Just try to relax your mind, I promise.... I swear I will not hurt you, you know I would not hurt you, right?"

I nodded and he continued.

"Since this is our first time melding, and I am extremely out of practice, we will take it slowly. If you become uncomfortable at any time, I will withdraw immediately."

My excitement was mirrored in his eyes as he placed a hand on my face, spreading his fingers out.

"Are you ready?" He asked softly and I nodded, closing my eyes and attempting to clear my mind.

I heard him mutter something in Vulcan, then there was another...... Presence in my head.

I uselessly felt around the expanse that was my mind. In my entire life, I had never been so aware of my consciousness.

I felt panic rising, I felt so alone and empty and small.

I could still feel my body, but it was so heavy and far away. I couldn't escape my mind.

I cried out, but there was no one to hear me. I thought there was someone else here, but I couldn't feel them, I was lost.

Then the presence was back, lightly brushing against my mind.

I cried out again, reaching for the warmth and comfort and safety I felt emitting from it.

The more I reached the further away it got, until it was barely there again.

Jim? Can you hear me?

A familiar voice, loud and echoing and concerned.

Spock?

Of course, the meld. I was not alone, he was here with me.

Are you okay?

I'm afraid Spock, why can't I reach you?

We must do this slowly T'hy'la. This is your first time melding with someone, if we join too quickly the shock might hurt you. Please, you need to relax.

I tried my best, and it was easier than before. Spock knows what he's doing, he'll take care of me.

I stayed still as Spock's mind hesitantly moved closer, and where we overlapped I could sense some of his thoughts and emotions.

The strongest emotion I could feel was fear, and the memory of terrible pain.

Stonn had hurt him using a meld, he had made Spock afraid of this.