I'll Save You - Spirk

Chapter Seventy One

*Jim's POV*

We looked everywhere for Spock, and found absolutely nothing.

There wasn't a message from the person who took Carol telling us they had him - although that is what we assumed happened. In fact, there were no more messages.

I thought I would be relieved, but in a way the silence was even more chilling than their words.

A week passed, then two, then three and there was still nothing.

With every hour that passed the hole in my heart grew. I missed him so much, and everything felt a hundred times harder without him by my side.

I dedicated all my time to finding him, only pausing to eat when someone forced me to and only sleeping when Bones threatened to sedate me.

As much of a pain in the ass he is, I doubt I would have made it this far without him.

Despite his threats he seemed generally concerned about me, and he never judged me during my frequent emotional breakdowns. He was there for me.

Uhura was also very supportive, along with Winona and, surprisingly, Spock's parents.

Amanda fussed over me almost as much as Winona did, if not more. Sarek even approached me and told me that we would find him, and I don't think I imagined the desperation in his eyes.

"Alright Jim, how long?"

Bones grumpy voice pulled me out of my thoughts and I looked away from the PADD I had balanced on my knees.

"How long? Since when?" I asked in confusion, stifling a yawn.

Bones scowled. "Since you last slept."

I shrugged. "12 hours?" I guessed and Bones snatched the PADD off my lap, his scowl deepening. "Try 38. Go. To. Bed. That's an order from your doctor."

"You're not my doctor," I snapped and tried to get my PADD back.

"Maybe not, but I am your friend. Jim, please sleep. You're no use to Spock exhausted, you'll work better if you rest."

I slumped, knowing he was right. "We are so close, I can feel it Bones."

He peered down at my PADD, confusion covering his face. "What are you even doing?"

I wiped a hand over my eyes, unable to suppress another yawn. "Pike and I have been working on tracing the messages. I think a few more days and we'll have it."

Bones typed something on the PADD and I watched listlessly, too tired to care what he was doing.

"I've sent a message to Pike to let him know that I'm making you sleep." The PADD beeped at he glanced at it, nodding in satisfaction. "He agrees. Well? Off you go."

He handed my PADD back and shooed me away. I got up, too tired to argue, and began heading back to my room for what would probably be a few hours of tossing and turning restlessly.

I looked down at the ground as I walked, and didn't even realise I was walking in the wrong direction until I found myself outside of Spock's room.

I hesitated, staring at the door tiredly for a moment before deciding a bed was a bed, and it's not like Spock was here to complain about it.

I punched in the code, thankfully Spock didn't change it after we broke up, and walked in, breathing a sigh of relief at the familiarity of the room.

It looked the exact same as it did when I last saw it, with the exception of a thin layer of dust over everything and no Spock lying in the bed, sleeping peacefully.

I had thought about that a lot since the break up. I had left Spock sleeping while I went to make sure Gary was okay. I had no idea that would be the last time I would be able to hold him, God, if only I had known.

I would have stayed, I would have held him tighter and never let him go.

I lay down in the centre of the bed and curled up, tears streaming down my face as I remembered the tone of his voice as he told me we couldn't be together.

He sounded so angry, and so tired. How could I not have seen?

I buried my face into the pillow to muffle my sobs, and quickly cried myself to sleep.

..............

Jim, I need to see you. Immediately.
-Pike

I blinked at the message, yawning as I sat up.

I had managed to get more than a few hours sleep for once, but I still felt completely drained.

On my way
~Jim

I stood up, more awake now, and glanced around the room sadly. I shook myself slightly, it was just a room.

I left the room and hurried towards Pike's office, a twinge of excitement sparking, what if he's found something?

Pikes face was grim and my stomach dropped, the excitement immediately shifting into fear.

"Did you find him?" I asked, terrified but Pike shook his head.

"We haven't found Spock or Carol yet, but I managed to trace the messages. I think we've found who's responsible. Hopefully they can tell us where they are."

Something in his face made me panic even more. "Who is it? Where are they?"

Pike put a hand on my shoulder. "It's okay we already have him in custody. Perhaps you can try to talk to him? So far he is pretending he doesn't know anything."

"Who do you have?" I demanded, dreading the answer but needing to know.

"Mister Kevin Riley."