If I can't have you(ManxMan)

Chapter 5

"You probably walked into a door too huh?" he asked

I didn't respond. I just kept dabbing at my bruises.

"My ex's. Plural. They did the same. It seemed like no matter what I did to please them, they just never stopped with the insults and beatings." he offered up.

"You never felt embarrassed?" I asked

"Of course I did. As a gay kid I felt that I needed to prove to straight bigots that we are happy and great people. I even thought for a while that they would laugh and tell me that boys fight all the time." he paused and then looked at me in the mirror.

"Then I realized that, I wasn't bad. I didn't need to suffer for the cause. I wasn't doing any difference by keeping quiet. In fact the police force in my home town made some new lessons for the force about helping same sex domestic violence... I feel safe and happy now"

"I haven't even thought of that. I'm heading home to a town that is a bible thumping, gay bashing, one horse town. I should have just stayed in New York and asked for the help that was offered." I said as I felt shame.

"Its all right. It took me seven years to get away from my first boyfriend"

"Well I should get back. My food is probably ready now. Thanks for the talk..."

"Matthew" the boy answered.

"Thanks Matthew. I'm Jamie" I said as I shook his hand.

We parted and I walked back to my seat at the counter where the waitress smiled and put my food in front of me. I ate quickly and paid my bill. As I was about to get my things together my phone rang.

It was Blake. I decided that he may have calmed down and that I would explain everything.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?! I've been calling all day! The cops came to my work and humiliated me in front of my bosses!"

"I'm so sorry Blake. I told them not to" I explained as I walked outside for privacy.

"You called them! Do you know what you did? Thanks to you, I now have priors!"

"No, no. I swear I didn't call them. Blake I was tied up, how could I?"

"You're a sneaky little bitch!"

"Blake-"

"Get home. Now!"

"Blake. I can't come home. Not until I know that you're getting help"

"Fine! You can rot wherever you are for all I care!" Blake yelled as he hung up.

I sat down on a parking cinder divider and looked at my phone. I dug around in my jacket and pulled out my pack of cigs and liter and started puffing my life away. When I looked up from the ground I saw the kid and his group of friends getting in a van. We shared a parting glance and then returned to ourselves. I looked up again as the waitress tapped me on the shoulder and handed me my keys. I smiled grateful and said goodbye and thanks.

I swore that I was going to be back home and in bed before I fell asleep. I got in my car and drove to a gas station to fuel up and grab some energy drinks. While I was waiting for my turn I noticed some thugs lurking around and watching me. I quickly paid and walked quickly to my car.

I started driving and only got a few miles before my car over heated and the tire blew out. I pulled over and hit the steering wheel and got out to inspect the damage. I didn't know much about changing tires since Blake always had our cars tuned up constantly, so I didn't need to learn.

I heard a lot of motorcycles and they circled me and my car. I started getting tense so I grabbed the crowbar and stood up and near my open door.

"Need help?" a man with a growl voice asked as he put his kick stand out.

"No. I'm fine. I know how to call a tow" I said and blushed as they laughed.

"I own an auto shop. I can help ya, for a price" he grumbled as he stepped up to me. I looked up at him and tried to show confidence which was faltering.

"It's fine" I mumbled

"C'mon. Let me help you" he urged

"No!" I yelled and closed my eyes tight.

I felt him grab me tightly and they started dragging me into the woods bedside the road. I kicked and fought but that seemed to only do my harm to myself as they dug in to my bruises.

I heard sirens and then the bikes being started up, followed by the sounds of their boots on the gravel as they raced to leave.

I kept my eyes closed and bundled up in a little ball in the mud. I was kidding myself thinking that I could survive without Blake. I was only gone two days and I was almost...well who knows what they were gonna do.

"Hey buddy, you okay?" a man asked.

I opened my eyes and looked at the officer. I nodded and he said they called a tow and was getting my car fixed.

Three hours later I was back on the highway driving like a bat out of hell. I was determined to get home as fast as I could. The closer I got to home, the farther I got from him.

By 10:00 o'clock at night I was pulling in the drive of my parents home. It was then I realized the mistake I've made. I hadn't called ahead and I wasn't sure what I was suppose to do. Our last conversation ended with me running to Blake and my parents yelling and throwing a bible at me.

I sat in my car for the longest time before I reached to start my car before the door opened. A large man stepped on the porch turning the light on. He was holding a shotgun as he stared cautiously at the unfamiliar car. He walked down the steps and lowered his gun as he turned toward my car.

I took a deep breath and opened the door. I took a huge breath and got out. I stood up straight as my father looked me up and down. I wouldn't expect him to recognize me after eight years, 20 pounds, and three shades lighter hair.

"James?" he asked as he walked up to me.

"Hi dad" I whispered.

I was pulled into a hug before I even figured out what was happening. I was shocked at first but recovered and returned the hug.

Dad brought me into the house while watching and touching my arm and face trying to see if I was really here.

When we got inside my mother was wrapped in her robe as she stopped on the bottom step of the stairs. She looked at me with her hand over her mouth and the other holding her chest. She slowly walked up to me and then ran to me with a sob.

"James!" She sobbed.

Dad soon joined and hug us hard. We stayed there until my fatigue set in and I begged to sit. We all sat on the couch and they bombarded me with questions about my state of condition. I looked at each of them and said

"You were right. You were right about him."

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