Chasing Bad✔[Rewritten][Currently Being Edited]

Chapter 23

A Little Too Much, Shawn Mendes

Quote;

You can tell yourself you're fine,
But deep down you know you aren't.

Chapter 23.

 As soon as I step in the door my stomach drops, walking through the kitchen feels like I've stepped into a nightmare come true. Glass, which isn't that out of the ordinary, is broken all over the floor. Beer bottles are all over the counter and dining room table, liquid pouring out of a few of them. But stepping into the living room, in that moment was like being a part of my own personal hell.

"Mama! Mama, wake up!"

God, please no.

"Mama! Mama, wake up!"

Not again.

"Mama! Mama, wake up!"

Not him too..

Rushing over to Dad laying passed out on the floor, I struggle to turn him over onto his back. No movement seems to come from him, only confirming my worst fears. Pressing down against his stomach repeatedly, I do anything and everything to try and get him to wake up.

I pull out my phone and dial 911, the operator turned out to be useless. Everything I tried didn't do anything for him, if anything I felt him slip away from me even more. Sobbing, I wrap my arms around Dad, pulling him close to me.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here, I shouldn't have left you."

By the time the ambulance arrives, I get the feeling it's already too late. That any chance of them saving him is long gone. That he'll never truly know how much he means to me, how badly I need a dad in my life. Drunk or not I want him in my life, even if the stress ends up killing me, I'll take it all if it means having him here with me.

When they put him on the stretcher, I follow them out of the door and onto the ambulance. Through the hold ride I never let go of his hand, never stop staring at his face. He can't leave me like this.. He just can't.

"I love you, dad. I'm so sorry."

When he was in stable condition they sent me home. I didn't even get to see him. Didn't get to tell him everything I wanted to, even though he probably wouldn't hear me anyways. Anything could go wrong, anything, then I'll never be able to tell him how much I care.

I should've been here, I can't do this anymore. I just can't.. Nothing has been going my way since mom died, ever since she's passed I've been punished! Slamming one of the cabinets closed, I knock the trashcan over in a fit of rage.

"What did I do," I cry out. "What have I done so bad to deserve this?!"

Hurling one of his empty beer bottles across the way, it shatters against the wall. It still doesn't make me feel any better. So I throw another, and another, and another, and still I seethe from the inside out with a rage that can't be saturated. Why me of all people?

People say God doesn't give us more than we can handle, then why do people commit suicide? Why do people experience poverty and die because of starvation, or no access to clean water? Why are people abused to the point where they end up dying at the hands of the people they assumed loved them? Why?

"This is all your fault!" I scream, collapsing onto the floor.

A knock on the door catches my attention and I wipe at my nose, "Come back later!"

The sound of the front door opening gets me to stand up, just as I am about to investigate, Isaac appears with the spare key from under the mat in his hands. Tucked under his arm is my dad's shirt I let him borrow the last time he was here. Wiping my eyes, my cheeks become hot with embarrassment.

Snatching the shirt from here I point in the direction he came from, "You need to go, now. You had no right to barge into my house and then-"

"I heard screaming." He discloses, glancing at the broken glass in front of him. "Noelle, I don't know what you're going through right now, but I can-"

"You're right, you have no idea! According to you I know nothing about loss!" I bellow, breathing heavily. "Now for the last time, get out of my house!"

"You shouldn't be going through this alone."

"That's my business, remember that?" I leer, imitating him.

Not waiting to hear his response I push past him and run up the stairs, and into my bedroom. Slamming the door behind me, I turn the lock and throw myself onto the bed. Isaac has some nerve showing up at my place when I distinctively remember him telling me to stay away from him! How exactly is that fair?

"I know you want to be alone," He calls out from the other side of the door. "But I'm not going anywhere and all I want to do is help clean up. Can you please let me do that?"

"You shouldn't be going through this alone."

"..Okay."

A/N

Thank you so much for reading this chapter, it really means a lot to
me! What do you guys think
of Isaac helping?

Can't wait to see all your comments and read all of your opinions.

Love you all.

( ˘ ³˘)❤