Redemption

25

"You can't make love to someone you weren't in love with."

I looked up at him curiously, it was an odd thing to say. Of course, he had been in love with her. He'd been completely devoted to her. The only other person he'd been that faithful to was Lily Potter. The thought tweaked at my tender heartstrings. The more I thought about it, the more I realised how wrong I was. He had been fiercely loyal to Dumbledore as well, and the cause. I suppose one could dispute it was all in redemption for his sins towards Lily, but you can't fake loyalty. Not like that.

The late Headmaster had been a prominent male role model in Snape's life, seeing as he had had a bad relationship with his father. Dumbledore had asked the Potions' Master to kill him to spare Malfoy. It took an extraordinary amount of trust and loyalty to follow through with such a major task.

I didn't need to ask my question aloud, he read it in my face. "I loved her, yes, though I was not in love with Ella Mitchell." The corner of his lips quirked into a sort of half-smile. "Just as you were never in love with Mr Weasley."

My eyebrows creased. "I don't follow."

"Well, you loved Mr Weasley because he was your best friend. You'd always been there for each other through your school years, or so you thought. You eventually realised that you'd always been there for him while he depended on you for everything, though never returning the favour adequately." He explained quietly, twisting one of my curls between his fingers. "It was much the same for me and Ella."

I cooed, snuggling into him. "She is a taker."

He shrugged. "I suppose that is one way to look at things." He pressed his lips to my forehead. "If you'd rather sleep in the guest room, it should not be an issue."

I bit my lip, slowly looking up to meet his eyes. "Where would you be most comfortable?" I asked, trying to see through the indifference in his eyes.

He chuckled lightly and leaned back, pulling me with him, so that we looked up at the dark fabric draped over the bed, creating the canopy. I turned in his arms to admire his profile. My lips split into a smile. How different things would have turned out had I never discovered this side of him. The gentle, romantic. He was a different person when he was at ease, relaxed. He was so much more open-minded and accepting.

Strands of ebony hair danced across his face, brushing them away carefully, my fingers grazed his lips, his cheeks, the bridge of his nose. His eyes fluttered shut as he sighed. He seemed to have gone elsewhere for a moment. Perhaps thinking of his daughters, Ella, or even how he'd gotten into this mess.

I couldn't know for certain. Even if I asked, he'd give some vague response and change the subject, or distract me with some new piece of information that he knew would hold my interest.

Sneaky Snape.

"Hermione..."

I blinked three times, my eyelids heavy. He had turned to face me, trailing a hand along my arm, caressing me with those slender, elegant fingers that could be delicate enough to mince an explosive plant, but strong and powerful enough to hold someone captive, to hold them down...

I let out a nervous giggle. Merlin, that had been a rather indecent thing to think.

He eyed me curiously, I bat my lashes in response. "Sickle for your thoughts, Professor?"

A small smile appeared at the corner of his lips. "Such a strange girl." He muttered, brushing his thumb over my lip, pulling it from between my teeth.

Snuggling up to him, I took a deep breath, taking in the wonderful smell of him. I snaked out an arm and ran it over his hip, across his back, pulling him closer. His hands ran up my body, a shiver-inducing sensation spreading through my limbs. Gods, his touch was magic in itself. He met my eyes, holding me closer still. I found myself once more staring into jet-black pools that threatened to swallow me whole, and honestly, I wouldn't have minded. Every moment alone with him was a dream, it was difficult to believe today had actually happened.

Even if it had all been an incredible dream, I'd be grateful for it. Once again, my mind wandered to what he was thinking of. My questions were answered when he claimed my mouth with his. The kiss was hot, fast, and passionate. Gods, the man was passionate. My senses were aflame, my thoughts scattered, my tummy in knots, my muscles a puddle in his embrace.

He rolled over me, hovering mere centimetres above my head, before kissing me again, slipping his tongue past my lips. I couldn't help the small whimper that escaped me. I was completely at his mercy. The smirk that spread on his face told me he knew exactly that. I clutched at him as though he were the only thing keeping me from drowning. The warmth of his body pressed up against mine sending waves of bliss coursing through my every vein. He pressed open-mouthed kisses along my throat, pushing aside my sleeve to place more along my collarbone and my shoulder. Against my will, a gasp left my mouth. He rested his lips against the shell of my ear and kissed the spot just beneath it, causing a tremor to run down my spine.

As though possessed by some primal instinct, I couldn't help my grab fistfuls of his shirt, ripping it open, pressing kisses to the hidden skin underneath. He inhaled sharply, closing his eyes. I pushed him onto his back and straddled him, taking his mouth. This time, he let me take control. His hands slid down my back, holding my hips tightly.

I kissed the side of his neck and he gently nudged me away, shifting my weight off of him. I frowned, not understanding what was happening. He slipped out from under me and went halfway across the room. He leaned back against the wall, trying to get his breathing to settle. A faint pink flush painted his face in a matter that was quite attractive, in my opinion.

I hugged myself, cold that he had gone so suddenly. Self-consciously aware of what I had done, second-guessing myself for my impulsive actions. As if somehow sensing my dismay, he turned his head to me, eyeing me hungrily. The look in his eyes was animal, his eyelids hooded. "I suggest you get some sleep." He stated, raking a hand through his hair, crossing his arms over his chest.

I felt my eyes water slightly. Had I done wrong? Instead of asking what was really on my mind, I replied with; "I haven't any sleepwear."

He sneered, picking his shirt up off the floor. "Are you not a witch, woman?" He snapped, transfiguring the shirt into a nightgown. I took it from his hand carefully, holding it to my chest. He must have noticed my eyes welling with tears for he brushed back a curl behind my ear and spoke more gently. "You caught me off guard, is all." He took a steadying breath, pressing his palm to the side of my face. "I need to be careful around you. I won't make the same mistake with you as I did with Ella. I can't lose control like that. Not again. It's too risky."

He left the room, leaving me alone. The first few tears ran freely down my face. Why did everything come back to her?

I changed into the nightgown, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and slipped between the covers, all before he returned. When he did, he slid into the bed next to me, pulling my into his arms, pressing my back to his chest as he nestled his face into my hair.

"Good night, sweet girl." He mumbled sleepily, nuzzling my neck with his nose.

I let him hold me, I knew it was the only way I'd get any sleep. I turned in his arms, resting my hands flat on his bare chest. He rolled into his back, tightening his hold around my waist, not allowing me to escape, even if I wanted to, which I didn't. He knew he'd upset me. He'd realised it. Dare I say it, he felt remorseful.

I pecked his jaw, he turned his face to catch my lips leaving a long, lingering, sweet kiss. It was more powerful than any other he'd given me. It was the kind of kiss that held something more than I was aware of. When he pulled away, I sighed, tracing circles on his abdomen absent-mindedly.

"I accept your apology, sir." I said lightly, laughing under my breath.

He hid his face in my hair. "Good."

I giggled, closing my eyes. This was better. This was good.

We were alright.

"Good night, Severus."

He had already fallen asleep.