Like We Used To (Nick Santino)

LETTING GO

She waiting for me at a small restaurant. It was cozy yet not known. I pick that place for us, so we can talk privately and out of the media. It was the place I always run to when I need to think about something.

"Black coffee," I say to the waitress and she nod. She knew me already. I been hanging out in their place for about 3 years. The owner was my friend, he became my friend.

"I was-"

I cut her off. "I want you to take him now. Away from me. Away from this place." it was like a direct order. I sound like a boss. My voice was not gentle the way I talk. It was as hard as a stone.

"What do you mean?" she ask. 

"I'm so tired playing your card and Larry's too. Nicky and my life isn't a game to duel on. So I'm giving up Nicky. It's a win-win situation for me. All these years, I was in pain losing you. Searching for you. I don't want my son to suffer the way I did," my words are full of hatred. Pain. And longings. In my mind, i think it was the right time end it all. I'm so upset with all my expectations about the changes of my life. I want to get over it.

She looks at me but I Iook away. I don't want to meet her eyes. I should act like I don't care about her anymore. I could see in the corner of my eyes that she grab her cup of coffee and take a sip and at the same time, I hear the waitress comes up in our table and declare that my coffee was already there. I give the girl a nod and smile to say thank you and she left immediately.

"Your joking." She said, half smiling and laughing. I put down my cup of coffee while she holds her cup and lean back on her seat. 

"I'm serious. Take him now or you'll regret it."

Her smile lose in her lips. She pick a tissue and wipe her mouth. "I can't." Her eyes grew deeper and loneliness covers her cheerful face.

"Why can't you?" I ask. "You were so eager to take him away from me before. And now you're telling me you can't. You're the one whose joking here now. Not me." I am angry. I couldn't believe she was changing her mind. "Larry. Larry. Larry. How about Nicky?" I was out of control. My voice raise and I take a sip of my coffee to remain calm.

"I and Larry have talk about this already. We have an agreement." She was calm. I know how she hates to argue with me. because in one point, I have the right to be angry at her and to her man. This is not for my own good. I'm doing this for Nicky.

Agreement. They have an agreement and she didn't tell me about it. So she's giving up our sons custody just because of that man. I can't believe what he can do with Taylor. Well, he's a doctor and it's maybe easy for him to manipulate her. My hand was burning hot. I want to punch that Larry. He was like a kid competing against our Nicky who needs a mom. More so, I can't believe that Taylor just let the moment be bargain with that agreement. She said she love Nicky, and now I wonder which part. The love she's telling me is invisible. If she really love our son, she will never agree about that.

"I want to tell you about this agreement we have but then I don't know when and how. I love Nicky but I don't want to hurt Larry. He felt he was out of my life if we take Nicky with us. I tried to explain to him that Nicky needs me yet it was hard for him. Larry don't want me to see you and if we had Nicky, he told me you will always have time to see me." Her eyes were teary. She was trembling. I want to reach her hand but I stop myself. "We have a plan to have our own family in the future. And he thought Nicky will be a cause of problems."

"I regret the times I wait for you. You can't blame me Taylor. I did my best." i look at the window and the sun was setting down. " I thank you in other way for giving me a son. And I am so sorry for Nicky because he got a mom whose life depends on her boyfriend."

"Nicholas, please-"

"I'm going to see my lawyer and ask him to make some agreement papers that will say you'll not going to interrupt mine and Nicky's life anymore."

"Don't do this to me." She begs.

"Yes, I can. For my son." I hardly say, showing no emotions or pity. "And I decided that I'll let you go."

Upon saying those words. I left her alone with a money for the coffee's and tips. I didn't turn my head and all I can hear is her sobs. I have to be strong for Nicky and now is the time to accept the reality that she's not going back into my life. I have to go on, to live and to start again with our son. Things have change through the time, peole did change too. And letting her go is the right thing for me to do.

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:)) hows my work? are you contented about it? did you already guess whats the ending of this?