Like We Used To (Nick Santino)

WITH HER AND HIM

There are change of plans that morning. Instead f picking up Nicky at Taylor's house, she texted me that the three of us will meet at an amusement part down the town. In my mind, I was thinking that Larry was around thats why it was set-up that way. I eat a little cereal left in the fridge and sip one glass of milk before leaving the house. It was 9 in the morning and eating was not in my mind. I planned to take Taylor and Nicky at a restaurant after their mom and son bonding. If Larry is with them, then it might be me and Nicky to eat together or Larry will come with us.

The nights drinking session was fun but it hurts in the head, the toxic of alcohol was like killing every nerve in my brain. I do hope they'll not notice how wasted I was last night. I fix my hair one more time looking at the rear mirror in my car before wearing my sun glasses and drie away from my house.

I was practicing my song that I'll going to sing the next day on a TV program while driving my car. I'm taking up my extra time for rehearsing myself so I'll not disappoint anyone. The song was dedicated for Taylor and I want her to come with me that day, I wasn't hoping she will but dreaming she can.

I park the car. Look at the rear mirror once again to check if I'm presentable enough to face them. I wear my cowboy hat to hide my face, not the entire of it but just enough for me not to be easily recognize by the people around. I text Taylor that they will meet me at the carousel. So it will be easy for us to see each other. I hate walking around with so much people, bumping and nudging with them too.

I was patiently standing infront of the carousel as it turns around. I didn't notice when Nicky run towards me and hug my feet. I look at him down to his height , pick him up and hug him tighter. Taylor was carrying his bag pack and smiling while looking at us both.

"How's the night?" I ask to both of them. "I hope it was fun." I added.

"We played hide and clap. We watch movies til dawn. Prepared midnight snacks together. And sleep in the couch," answers Nicky in his happy tone. I'm happy they enjoy the night together.

"That's very nice. And I hope the next time I can join the two of you."

"Mommy will spend the night at us the next time." He boast. "You will mommy, right?"

Taylor was speechless. Her face was indescrible but she keep a smile on her lips, maybe not to disappoint her son.

"Let's grab some drinks," I break the silence. I know Taylor had that hesitation running through her mind if she should say yes or no.

"Ice cream!" scream Nicky.

I put him down and watch him run towards the ice cream parlor.

"Thanks for saving me in that question," she mentions as we walk together following our son.

"You have a time to think about that. Enough time. And it's up to you if you'll give him what he ask for or not. He will understand anyway."

"I want to-"

"But you worry about Larry's feelings do you?"

"He was a good man Nicholas-"

"But he was jealous because he knows that if me and Nicky is around, he can't have all your loe and time. I'm right?"

"He has the right to feel about that-"

"But he don't need to compete to anyone."

"Stop your but's, will you? And give me time to speak up. Just for a minute, please listen to me. Let's not argue about anytime. I want to be fair on both sides. It's hard on my part."

I give her a look and left her walking alone. I don't want to argue with her too but then she was being unfair to our son just because of that boyfriend. Nicky had the right to ask her time, he needs her more than I do.

"Nicholas!" she mentions my name, catching me up.

"I don't want to talk about it in front of my son, Taylor. Let's pretend we're good and happy. I hate to see him disappointed or sad."

We settle at a table. Nicky was telling me about all the things that happen last night. I was looking at him, pretending I am listening yet my mind was floating away. Taylor was on his side, pretending too that she's a good mother though honestly she wasn't. Poor Nicky. The ice cream wasn't that good at all, I want to stand up, grab my sons arm and left her but I can't. I don't have the guts to hurt any of them.

"I'll call you later," I say, as I close the door on my car. Leaving Nicky's ear shut, so he can't hear our conversation. "Don't worry it's not a date. I prefer to talk about eveything. I'm not going to push myself or pull you towards us."

"That's fine."

"You can take a cab here. I have a meeting to catch up. I can't take you to the bus station or to your place. I'll be late," I lied.

"It's okay," she says.

The good day I was expecting ended up as worst as I can't imagine. It's full or drama and pretendings, and I hate to remember that day. I hate her too.

I bring Nicky at Justin's house. I ask Anna if Nicky could stay there for 3 hours. I lie to him that I hae an urgent meeting to go. But the truth is, I'm going to see Taylor. I don't want to end the day not talking to her. I'm so feed up with all of this. The feeling of being rejected all over again wasn't healthy for me anymore.