JADE

Chapter 34

Chapter 34
August 5, 2024

My body sank down to the piano bench as I placed one finger down a key. I then proceeded to run my hands up and down the piano keys. When the last note rang out I started playing Clair De Lune by Debussy. This has always been my favorite song since Twilight came popular. When I was younger I was completely obsessed with wanting that kind of relationship. To have someone care so much about you that they couldn't stay away.

During that time I was learning how to play the piano so I decided to just learn the song. Hearing it in real life and not from a computer or my tv was so amazing to my ears. My eyes closed as my fingers danced on the keys. The song was bringing back old memories, some which I wanted to forget.

I stopped immediately when the thoughts became worse. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. I just wanted to play my favorite song, it was Braxton's favorite also. I was never able to play piano at the old house because he got rid of my piano.

He came home one night with his also drunk friends. I was playing it and he got angry. With his drunk, fuzzy mind he made his friends take it outside and burn it. I was absolutely devastated. The next day he saw what he did and wanted to get me another one. I told him not to bother I didn't want to be let down again. That was the first couple of times he came home drunk and angry.

"Why did you stop?" A voice said behind me. "I was enjoying it." I open my eyes and turn slowly to see Shane leaning against the doorway. He walked over to the bench and sat down next to me. My heart rate picked up a bit.

I had recently begun to act weird near Shane. It seems that my body is affected by him. I'm beginning to like him which is an awful idea. My husband hasn't been gone for more than a year and here I am being attracted to someone else. I feel extreme guilt override my body when it happens. Lately, Ashton and my brother have been telling me to move on because I deserve it. In all honesty, I think I do deserve someone good, but not now.

It's not like he would ever be attracted to me. A single mother of 2 boys at 25 years old, just man magnet, aren't I? Plus I have been an emotional mess for a while now who has been going to a therapist. It's not possible.

His bare arms touched me, causing goosebumps to go up my arm. I close my eyes again and try to not let him affect me anymore. "Because" I answered.

"Because why?" He asked. I close the cover for keys before inching away from him.

"I got flashbacks." I looked away, embarrassed from my confession. He didn't say anything which is understandable. I was a lunatic who was depressed and was suffering from PTSD.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Shane offered. I contemplated my response, he was being nice because he has to or he actually cared, I wasn't certain of which one was true.

"It's nothing. My husba- I mean Braxton burned my piano a while back when things started to go south. That memory started leading to other things. I just remember some bad things like I usually do." I looked everywhere but at Shane. I stood up abruptly and left the room. I knew the waterworks were about to come and start a show.

Shane didn't know the full story about Braxton. He knows that he was a bad person but doesn't know details. I guess Ashton didn't want to tell him himself.

No one was home now. Ashton was but he seemed to disappear like he usually does. The boys were with my parents who were visiting for the week. They took the boys for a few days so I can have some time to myself which isn't the best thing for me. My parents don't know about the therapy or anything about Braxton. I didn't want the boys to leave me but I didn't want my parents to ask questions.

I don't know why Shane is here when Ashton isn't. They are best friends, I'm surprised they aren't together at the moment. I pulled away from my thoughts when Shane grabbed my hand and spun me back towards him. He immediately wrapped his arms around me, not letting me be able to leave. Without thinking about it I wrapped my arms around his waist, holding him close to me as I cried softly.

His large hand, ran up and down my back, in an attempt to have me calm down. My heart rate was going up again and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Soon my cries became slower and stopped altogether. We stayed in that same position for a while, just standing in the hallway. My anxiety was forcing me to pull away so I can finally breath but I kept suffocating myself.

I was pathetic. I was naive. I wanted to go back in time and take everything back. Change all of my stupid decisions. Now I'm damaged worse than Braxton's liver.

I slowly pulled away from him, retracting my arms. I didn't want him with me. He was a sweet person who didn't deserve anything terrible like the responsibility of dealing with my mental problems. I turned away and went up the stairs to my large empty room. I wrapped myself in a large fluffy blanket then placed a pillow next to me. As if it was Dawson, so I didn't feel so anyone. But I was still alone.

I knew the nightmares were going to come back tonight.

*Shane's POV*
I flipped through a book as I drank a cup a coffee. My glasses began to slip off my nose so I pushed them back up. I flipped a page when I heard a scream from upstairs. I was so startled by it, the book fell out of my hands and I lost my place. I didn't bother picking it up before running upstairs to where the noise came from.

It was in Jade's room. I pushed the door open and saw her crying in her sleep. She was twisting and turning with tears falling out of her closed eyes. She was still asleep. I rushed over and laid next to her. My hands ran through her hair, calming her down. It seems that my presence was noticeable to her because her night terror stopped. She was sleeping soundly but her face was still stained with tears.

This woman has gone through a lot. She was broken on the inside. She had 2 kids. I am only 27. Do I trust myself to put her back together? Do I even want to?