JADE

Chapter 29

Chapter 29
March 18, 2024

I felt tears stream down my face as I grabbed a pack of cigarettes from Ashton's bag. The kids are in bed because it's almost 12 am. I didn't know what to do. Braxton was gone. I was now a widow at 25. I wasn't allowed to even have a funeral for him! His father called and said it was too dangerous because he was the leader of a large gang. Now he's not around, I'm vulnerable to being hurt by my husband's enemies.

Braxton's father told how much money I was getting from his insurance and what he earned from all the crimes he had committed. It was a large sum but I didn't care about that. I wanted my man back.

I snatched the lighter and a bottle of liquor before rushing outside into the backyard. I pulled one cigarette out and lit it. The toxins enter my system, the chemicals make me relax. As I breathed out, so did the stress. I stared at the ocean which was part of my brother's property. It looked so beautiful, a breeze came by making goosebumps grow on my arms.

I took another hit and continued gazing at the beautiful night sky. The tears have stopped, there were none left. After an hour after my break down I told Dawson. His reaction utterly broke my heart into a million pieces. He was happy... he smiled when I said that his father was not coming back. It wasn't a fake smile, it looked genuine. I cried harder as I stared at his pearly whites.

Now, it doesn't matter. I can cry as much as I want, but he won't come back. One hand held a cigarette and the other held a bottle of some random liquor.

"They're gonna clean up your looks
With all the lies and the books
To make a citizen out of you
Because they sleep with a gun and keep an eye on you son. So they can watch all the things you do
Because the drugs never work, they gonna give you a smirk. 'Cause they've got methods of keeping you clean. They're gonna rip up your head
Your aspersions to shreds
Another cog in the murder machine
They said all teenagers scare the living shit " I sung to myself. It was a old song that I remember from back in my years in high school. Singing to myself always made me mood slightly better.

I knew so many song lyrics that it filled my head more than real education. Music was my escape as a child. I used to play the violin and some piano, I was decent. Being alone and having my fingers graze the piano keys, making beautiful noise was amazing.

I took a large swig of the bottle before laying on the sand. "That's not very healthy." I heard a voice say.

"I took it from your bag," I answered. He grabbed the bottle from me and took a drink of it.

"I know you did, but I didn't know you smoked."

"I don't," I said, taking another hit off the toxic white stick. The chemicals spread through my body. Somehow, the chemicals made all of the pain go away. I was numb.

"I'm sorry Jade, I know you love Braxton. Even if he wasn't the best all the time." Ashton apologized. I shook my head. "He's not perfect, but he's all I want. He was my husband, high school sweetheart." I drank the mysterious alcohol.

"I know, but he can't hurt you anymore." He assured me.

"No matter how much he hurt me, I will always love him. I am in love with a monster who lives to hurt me. Our relationship was always odd."

He moved closer to me and wrapped an arm around me. I laid my head on his shoulder, I haven't even looked at him. The gorgeous ocean has my eyes, my interest. "I'm too young for this shit," my mouth blurted out. Ashton chuckled at my comment and tightened his grip. "We all are."

"We were perfect matches, the sad part is, matches burn."

My words hung in the air and echoed a little bit. "Ashton, my son smiled when I told him that his father was never coming back. His own flesh and blood. Why does he hate him so much?" I mumbled into his shoulder. "I don't know, Jade. Nothing will ever make sense."

"Do you have any weed?" I asked. He stared wide eyed at me, his reaction to the question made me smile. "So you do?" He gave me a very confused look but took a blunt out of his shirt pocket. The blunt rolled onto my fingers as he handed it to me. I didn't hesitate to light it up and take a very long drag off of it. The smell was so sweet and familiar from when I used to smoke in high school. I laughed at the stupid things I used to.

Bad decisions make good stories.

Ashton took the weed from me and took a drag himself. As the smoke flew out of his mouth, I don't know but it made him more attractive. Damn, that's some strong weed. We continued passing the blunt back and forth.

"Hey, do you think if the Lorax hit the gym, he would have been a better protector of the trees?" I blurted out. He gave me a blank face for a few seconds before laughing. I stared at him, his laughter made me laugh. We rolled around on the sand, laughing at each other's stupidity.

After a while, we rested back on the ground. "Ashton, are you going to leave me? Since Braxton isn't around, don't you still work for the gang?"

"I promised Braxton that I would take care of you and the kids no matter what. So, no I'm not leaving. Wait are you trying to get rid of me?" He teased. I shook my head.

"I just don't want to be alone in this cruel world."