Lucian, just believe *slow updates*

Hope.

1 month later
Me and Ian sit on the edge of the pool. It's been a month since break started and it's going to end in less than 2 months. I honestly don't mind going back to work. It gives me something to do. I have to learn lines and go to work. It preoccupies my mind. Gives me something to think about.
When we don't have work I just overthink everything. I groan and lay my head on Ian's shoulder, I want to get out of the house, I hate being cooped up, I need to get out. I haven't really left the house since that day when Janel was moving in.

I stand from the edge of the pool and walk back into the house. I want to do something today, I turn into the kitchen to get a bottle of water and nearly run straight into Shay. I look up at her, seeing her biting her lip, I raise an eyebrow at her and tilt my head slightly. 

"What's up?" I ask her. 

"I was- well..."  She says, shaking her head, before continuing. "I was wondering if, well- If I could throw a party tonight?" She says, almost as though she's unsure if she actually wanted to ask. 

I roll my eyes at her, "Of course you can have a party, this is your house too. You don't have to ask." I say, shaking my head at her, she smiles and pulls me into a hug, I can feel her body relax. 

I feel bad for her, she's been sick lately and she's been so stressed. Yani had been stressed too, I hope everything is okay. I pull back from her embrace and laugh at her goofy smile. I rub her arm and move over so she could walk past me. I look at her retreating figure and can't help but notice the baggy shirt and sweatpants she's been wearing so often. I shake the thoughts away and grab my water. Taking a sip before heading back to the backyard.

I continue to the pool and sit myself back down next to Ian. I splash my feet in the water and rolling my neck. I look back at the house, seeing that Shay's window is open, I don't want to but I can't help but looking in. I slowly lower myself into the pool, and tread across to the other side, pulling myself up  onto the edge. I look back up to Shay's window. 

I see her standing in front of her body length mirror, I see her pulling her shirt up. Examining her stomach, before throwing her shirt down in frustration. She turns toward the window, and I look down to the water. I wait a moment before looking back up to see her playing with the waist bands of her pants, pulling them up and lifting her shirt. Before turning forward and looking at herself straight on, she sighs, I can see her shoulders rise and fall, she turns to the left and looks at her stomach.  She pulls down her shirt and walks away from the mirror. I look into her window for a while longer before looking back down at Ian. He raises an eyebrow at me and I shake my head at him, motioning him to come toward me. He releases himself into the water and walks over to me. 

"What was that?" He asks, and I am unsure weather he is referring to me watching Shay or what Shay was doing.

"I was watching Shay. She seems to be having problems with her body." I say, thinking back to the past couple days. 

"What do you think is happening?" He asks, rubbing my back, and I can feel his gaze on the side of my face, but I keep my eye's focused on her window. Willing her to come back into the view, willing for my suspicions to be wrong. 

"I hope I'm wrong. 

I really do, I want to be wrong. I don't want her to hate her body, like I did." I say, as I shake my head. I really do hope I'm wrong. 

"You don't mean..." Ian says, but doesn't want to finish, I can understand that. 

4 Hours later

I pull on a peach bodycon dress with white detailing and peach gold ballet flats. I pull my hair into a french braid and put on the basic makeup, a little mascara. I put on a little light blush and some light pink eye shadow. I put a little light pink lipstick on and grab my phone, and tuck it into the thigh of my spandex. It might be weird but, I have no other place to put it, and I don't want to carry around a purse in my own house.