Another Beginning

• TWENTY TWO •

Maine

Stop it Maine!

Stop thinking about these things.  Don't think too much, you are just creating  a problem that's not even there. The issues you are fabricating in your mind doesn't exist, so stop!

I let out a deep sigh.  I didn't realize that I am biting my inner lip.

"Hey, what's going on?" Richard asked, lightly pinching my chin with his thumb and forefinger.

"Huh? Oh nothing." I tell him, sitting up. I turned to face him.  "I just thought of something."

"So," he said, gathering me in his arms, "it is nothing then because there is something.  Come on, tell me." 

"No,  it's really nothing." 

He takes a deep breath and releases me.  Taking my hand,  he looked at me straight in the eyes.

"Hon, we already talked about this, if there is something that is bothering you, you have to tell me.  I don't read minds.  How can I address it if you don't tell me,  Maine what is it?"

"I am scared."  There I said it.

"What are you scared of?"

"Of everything."  Richard searched my face,  his eyes roaming.  He's still trying to figure out what I am telling him. 

"Tell me, please."   He said softly.

"I am scared of our relationship,  what if we are moving too fast?  We just found each other a week ago and now we are engaged! I know we have decided that the twins and I are moving with you to the Philippines, but are we ready?  Am I ready? God! I didn't even know if the twins are ready! It is a big adjustment for them, what if they will have a hard time adapting!  And then you're career! You are so laid back when making your decisions! Hon, those decisions you made are so critical, it may break you!  You have to think about your supporters,  what will they think about the twins, about us, about me!"  I sound hysterical right now, because I am.

When I finally calmed down, I look at him and saw a smirk on his face.

"What?" I asked.  I begin to pout and look at him, eyes squinting. 

"I am serious hon."  My voice grim.

When Richard realized that my voice is lacking humor,  he sits up and takes my hand again.

"I am sorry.  I know this is a serious talk and I am mocking you.  Maine,  what you said earlier.  They are all true."  He said,  his voice soft but firm. 

I nod my head once, urging him to continue.

"I know that we are moving fast, way too fast. Yes, it has only been a week.  But do not forget it also has been four year hon.  Four long years that I have been looking for you, searching for you.  And now, that God has lead me to you again,  my prayers have been answered.  Because everyday I prayed to God,  I pray that if you are really the one for me,  then He will let me find you.  Everybody was telling me to give it up, to give you up, because it has been a long time and finding you is like," he said, his eyes searching mine, "like looking for a needle in a haystack.  Everybody thinks I am foolish for even having this grand idea that I will find you.  But I refused, because giving up means that I gave up on us.  Remember when we wished at the Trevi Fountain?"  He asked. 

I nodded.

"I didn't make a wish, instead I thanked Rome, I thanked Rome because Rome has given me you.  Right then Maine,  I know you were the one."  He tells me with so much love.  "You are asking me about being so laid back about my career decisions.  Well that's because, I am.  I am going to take it slow.  Maine, all these years, I worked so hard.  So hard, that I forgot to enjoy my life. Did you know, that this mini-vacation I am enjoying with you and the twins right now,  is the first time that I have actually taken a break from my chaotic life?  Ask MamaTen and Sam because they haven't taken a break too.  When I work, they work.  And hon,  you don't have to worry about me being able to provide for you and the twins.  I really worked so hard and I have saved a lot.  I also invested my money, well our money, to restaurants, and some businesses.  We have a lot of properties in the Philippines.  I can still give you the kind of lifestyle you are used to, and I promise to take care of you and the twins."  He said, caressing my cheek with the back of his hand.