(Book 1) - Our Perilous End - Emo Boy and Nerdy Girl Series

Chapter 9 - Coward

Chapter 9 – Coward

Skyler's POV

   The room was spinning. I could barely focus. Feelings of hellish pain flew through my veins. Staring at the ceiling, for that was the only thing I could focus on. I saw out of the corner of my eye Cecilia's face popping up. 

   "L-Last night was so fucking amazing..." she gave an evil grin as she mumbled her words, laying back down on my chest. I jerked myself up, letting Cecilia fall back into the bed. The room spun worse as I looked around, searching for my clothes. Scrambling to get myself out of that bed, I reached for the ground and put on my boxers and skinny jeans, having help from the wall next to me, for I felt like falling flat on my face.
   "W-Wait, Skyler. Stay– please?" 

   "Do you really think I'll stay here- with you?! I said specifically yesterday that I wanted to only drink one or two beers. One or two! And now look where I fucking am! I woke up a fucking sex cage with you! I told you I never wanted to do this again– I never should've fucking came here to this damn bar with you!" I shouted at her, wanting to punch her dead in her face– even though I never could hit a lady–...Even though I hate her dearly. Still scrambling to get the skinny jeans on, I grabbed my shirt from the ground and stomped over to the metal door, flinging open the door, and then slamming it right in her damn face, for she had gotten up to chase after me.

   I stomped over passed out bodies, even the bartender was out cold. Sighing with disgust, I stepped towards the only light in the room, the front doors. Opening the door, being greeted with rain and wind, I blocked it from my eyes with my arm, which seemed to have needle-width holes, as well as razor-like slits marked on it. Disgusted with myself, I put on my shirt and started stumbling outside in the pouring rain.
   "Breathe in, Breathe out..." I sung the lyrics again, trying to calm myself from the madness that's occurring. I don't necessarily remember all of what happened...even though later on I will know, because for some reason it always comes back to me. Haunting me. It's unbelievable sometimes, how much I do. Willingly. I was disgusted with myself. Going completely insane, I stopped walking and screamed, kneeling down, looking at the wet concrete.
   "There must be something more...Breathe in, Breathe out..." I sang to myself, getting myself up again, stumbling on my numb legs. Everything was tingling with pain and numbness...It was as if I just couldn't get in touch with reality.

   Already soaked with the rain, I still slowly walked along the sidewalk, hands in my pockets, myself crying. I felt so fucking terrible...I did this to Allison...Cecilia...myself. I could just imagine how Allison would react. 
   She would hate me. 
   She would never forgive me... 
   But whatever I have coming to me...I deserve.

   Remembering faintly Allison's address, I walked slowly down the road, crying still. Seeing red underneath my soaked shirt, I lifted it up, seeing the stitches bleeding again. Not caring about it, I saw her house in the distance; having such guilty feelings cross through me. My heart clenched and resented me walking towards her. My vision already being fogged, I tried reading the numbers on the mailboxes, recognizing faintly one of them.

   Stumbling up the stairs, I knocked on the door, my heart and stomach sinking. Hearing the click of the door unlocking, and it opening to Allison's depressed face, she jumped slightly, not expecting me, I suppose. Her facial expression quickly changed to being enlightened, and squealed.
   "Sk-Skyler?! A-Are you okay?! Y-You w-were gone...You're surgery, injuries, h-how did you leave without f-falling? Where did you go?" she was talking quite fast, I couldn't keep up and explain it all...Nor would I want to in the first place.
   "A-Allison, I...I can't really explain where I was...I-It would hurt you. Terribly," I mumbled, the rain still pummeling my head. She had a worried look on her face, and she resisted wanting to talk, but she followed through anyways.
   "Tell me what it is– Please?" I was starting to shake.
   "A-Allison...I don't want to hurt you..."
   "Please...Just get it over with, I'm sure it couldn't be that bad," she had a slight smile on her face, and she raised her hand to my cheek, rubbing it slightly with her delicate hand.
   "Allison..." I took her hand off of my cheek, "I-if you really want to know the truth..." my voice broke, but I tried getting myself together before I broke down, "I-...I went to a bar. A person I know invited me...I swear I told her I just wanted one or two beers. I thought it would stop the pain...But I guess I had more than one or two...W-Well, I know I did now," Allison had her arms crossed, she had a serious look on her face, but she signaled me to keep going, "A-And...If you already saw my arms...I guess you saw I had drugs and apparently I self-harmed over there, I don't know..." I lost my voice, I tried clearing my throat.
   "Where did you wake up?" Her voice was cold, it made my heart sink completely. You could hear it thumping against my ribs...
   "A-Allison–" I got interrupted.
   "Just tell me..."
   "I-In a bed..." I started, looking down at the concrete, my eyes becoming blurry from the warm tears, and the cold rain.
   "N-No, Skyler..." her voice broke, too, "P-Please don't tell me you were in it with someone–" she tried wiping away her own tears streaming down her face, "Were you?!" she screamed at me. I stayed silent, as I stood there cowardly in front of her, my bangs covering my face as I looked straight at the ground, hands in my pockets.
   ...Everything stayed silent for a few moments...
   ...
   "You're not the Skyler I know..."
   ...
   "You're a Stranger..."
   ... 
   She slapped me dead along my cheek...
   And then she slammed the door in my face.