(Book 1) - Our Perilous End - Emo Boy and Nerdy Girl Series

Chapter 6 - This Must Be My Punishment

Chapter 6 – This Must Be My Punishment

Skyler's POV

  It was worth it– to somewhat "save" her from being punched in the face. Even though, yes, I can't seem to wake up– at least I'll die having a good intention. I just hope my intention did actually somewhat save her from being beaten up, even though I know, most-likely, it didn't. At least I tried– even though we're both probably being rushed to the hospital, or just me, I'll still be fine. I'd be with her, or in the same scenario as her, so I think I'd be alright. Even though, yes, I cannot feel anything, or hear, or even see, I'm okay. I'd be with her no matter what– I promised her that, and myself. I'd keep her warm, and safe in my arms–...but I guess I broke that promise already. For now Allison is more than likely being beaten up, too. I could hear her screaming bloody murder before I couldn't hear anymore. So, I guess I was right.
   I had already broken a promise...

   Already starting to feel cold and numb, I still lay still, it seems like. I can't even seem to comprehend if I'm being still beaten, or being carried by medics, nothing. By the time I finally began feeling again, it had already felt like centuries had past by. Long, cold hours of laying still can take it's toll on you, I suppose. I couldn't necessarily just yell out anything, nor move. The numbing pain afterwards never went away. Neither did the excruciating pain flowing through my body. The pain from the kicks and punches still throbbed, and punctured my body. Maybe I should just be used to these types of feelings now. After having them many times before, you'd think I would be used to these unbearable feelings. From my Father– from the Jocks, and football team, and myself just being an Outcast in general, you'd always see me bruised and scarred in the hallways. Or– an "Emo", I suppose. Oh, for fuck's sake, I don't even know what I am anymore. I know what I am–...It's just I haven't found it yet. Just like me being here altogether. I think I have actually found that.
   Allison.
   That's why I still stay, and I will continue to stay–...
   Because of her.
   ...
   I truly think out already destroyed relationship is meant to last...
   But, maybe I'm just rushing things...

   I just have no clue anymore; I mean, just look at me. I'm practically useless. Even I know Allison deserves better than me already...I practically broke her heart twice in one day, or even more. Maybe this is my punishment? This must be. There's no other reason that I am most-likely in a coma, or murdered, for that matter. I had already broken her heart too many times. Then again, maybe it's just back luck that we stumbled upon them. I just have no idea...
   Once again, I feel like the most horrible person in the world...
   Is that what I'm being punished for?
   Am I actually the most horrible person in the world?
   ...
   Maybe that's why I cannot seem to open my eyes.
   That's why I cannot see Allison...
   ...
   That's why I cannot seem to grasp reality.

   Tonight is the one thing left
   And I haven't said it yet,
   I'm falling
   And the writings on the wall
   
   Today was misery
   And I just can't believe this happened
   And I finally broke down

   She held on to my heart
   But now my only star is falling
   Its burning to the ground

   Now I'm crying out...

   Secret love, my escape
   Take me far, far away
   Secret love, are you there?
   Will you answer my prayer?
   Please take me
   Anywhere but here.

   I could just imagine those lyrics matching my scenario right now. If only Allison would wake me up from this horrific nightmare I'm having. Yeah– this is all just a dream. I'm not passed out, neither is Allison harmed. I'm just–...having a nightmare. A nightmare that I can't wake up from.
   Oh, what am I even thinking?
   Does myself being hit in the head have anything to do with this?
   Am I going insane?
   Everything's black, I can't hear anything...
   What type of state am I in that's total darkness?
   ...
   I think I've gone completely mad.