27
She needed a breather, something that could take her away for awhile. It was not that she was running away from her feelings. She promised to be back, she promised Dennise she would be back in few days.
So, Alyssa, after having been given the chance to join the team their family business has sent for a convention in Cebu, informed her supportive girlfriend. She was not actually needed in the business trip- her brother could go, but Alyssa insisted that she had to be there and catch a glimpse on how their food manufacturing business works with the other bigger firms. After all, before the partnership she has with her best friends, their family business always comes first.
But that was probably just to justify her desires to leave the metro, her inner conflicts and the guilt that has come to dwell in her.
Alyssa thought it would work. She thought she could unhear how she pronounces her name, but every time someone called her, she heard her. And every freckled girl that stood in front of her, she could see the same brown eyes following her. She might be a little delusional and maybe she has gone mad but all felt real. It was dawning. Laura was back. Her Laura was back.
And after another day of meeting new people, talking business and presenting plans, she would toss and turn on the bed, with Den's shallow and tired breathing in her ears. And then Alyssa would miss her, and she would miss her more whenever Dennise murmurs her name in her sleep. And then she would be thinking of Dennise this time.
Alyssa did her best not to disturb her. She was okay with just patiently listening to the sound of her girlfriend writing, yawning and sighing. There were no prolonged conversations; the silence was enough to remind them how much they miss each other. And then it was past midnight and even with the weariness she was feeling, Alyssa stayed awake until she was sure Dennise had fallen asleep, probably on her pile of readings. She would have carried Dennise in their bed, tuck her in her comfort and leave a kiss on her forehead.
4 hours, 28 minutes and 39 seconds. Alyssa ended the call.
Alyssa would often catch herself pondering why it has to be like this. She was happy with Dennise. No, she is happy with Dennise and is much too in love with her. Maybe that was the problem. Alyssa never wished to be in love with anyone else but Laura yet, she did, with Dennise. But it could not be Den's fault however Alyssa wonders if it would be easier if she never met Dennise at all. The thought would always sadden her.
Four dragging nights were wasted on her dilemma. Perhaps, Ara was right. She was caught in a dilemma but she just could not acknowledge it. Because if she did, it would be inevitable for her to make a choice.
Alyssa resolved not to call Dennise upon her arrival back in the Metro. She knew it would be a busy day for Dennise and she could not join her for lunch anyway. Total bullshit.
How hard was it to leave a message for her girlfriend?
"Drinking this early, Alyssa?" The old man from her favorite pub flashed her one of his wrinkled grin. Alyssa answered with a soft smile. This was her place when Laura left her. This, at the same bar chair and in front of this old man, was where she slurred and begged for her Laura, when she was the most depressed and irreconcilable, and the place where she met a lot of people that were not her Laura. "Akala ko, hindi ka na babalik eh."
"Akala ko rin eh," Alyssa smiled grimly. The old man is a friend. He knows but he never judges. "She's back."
