That One November Night

Chapter 22: I'm going to love you

"I meant what I said," I heard her say, "In the text I mean".

We had only moved half a dozen yards when she came out with it causing me to stop and turn to her as she stood at arm's length away from me, "That's the first time you have ever told me that". She nodded.

Her long curls hiding her neck, the sleeves hiding her. Guinevere brought the strands of hair in front of her neck as if she had seen me looking at it. She lined her eyes with mine, "I always did. It's just something which I wanted to be sure about. I wanted to say it in person but I needed to get your attention just to see you".

"Well you got it," I informed her harshly.

Half smile pinned to her cheeks, "Yes, I know. I can't-" she stopped herself. Looked away and then down at her hands which had returned to her pockets.

"You can't what?" I asked impatiently.

"I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be with you right now."

Offended, "why not?"

With caution, her eyes burrowed into mine. A house from home. Taking a step closer to me she took out her left hand, "May I?" she asked. Looking down I could see that she was referring to my hand which was poorly fitted in the teensy pocket of my scruffy jeans. With a nod I felt my chest gasp, her warm hand on mine. Throwing off the brief bit of resistance I had left, I took her hand with both of mine and kissed it like a treasure.

"This is the last time that I can see you," she stated in monotone.

I dropped her hand in shock. Tensing my brows as I rubbed them with my hand. What did she mean? "Look," she started again, a heavy pace in her voice, "I've tried before and got caught. He doesn't like you and he most certainly doesn't like how you are competition. He'll hurt you again if he finds out."

I was competition? Was I meant to be fighting for a place with this girl? My girl? My Gwen. Thinking out loud I asked, "So what happened?"

Tongue wrapped around the side of her lip as she avoided something. Turning back to me she slowed her speech, "He usually keeps track of what I do on my phone, where I am, what I am doing and who I am with. This time I was smart about it. For you it must seem like I was never going to come back, I can't start to imagine how that felt for you. If I didn't have feelings for him then it would be different. Ugh! Okay, I wanted. No. I needed to see you one last time before-"

I found myself hugging her without asking for permission, "I'm so sorry for what I did to you the last time!" I erupted suddenly remembering that I had to apologise, she gave a brief smile, and "I get it. I do – at the time it was just a shock because it wasn't like you at all but I truly understand why you did it. But as I said, this right now is the last time I can see you because he doesn't allow it".

Trying helplessly to control the voice break, she came into my chest, "Wait so this is it?" I asked through quivering lips. One hand behind her head resting it against my chest, I could feel her trying not to get emotional. As her arms wrapped around me, I came to realise it, "so this is the last time I get to see you Gwen? It doesn't need to be, he's abusing you and that's a criminal offence. If we just tell someone-"

"Connor, I don't want that." I allowed her to pull herself away from me.

I gripped her shoulder and turned my appalled face away, "Why are you allowing yourself to go through with this Guinevere?"

For a moment there was silence shielding her response. One of her hands landed on top of the one I had placed on her shoulder, "The same reason that I didn't want to tell you about his existence in the first place."