Self Harm, Depression & The Janoskians

Chapter 86

The next day I woke alone, Luke had left last night and I doomed the day ahead, don't get me wrong, I was so happy it was my birthday, I was now 17. The downside was I wanted to keep it an absolute secret and wanted nobody to know exept from my family obviously. A knock was brought to my door and Lindsay walked in singing happy birthday holding presents in her hands.

"Happy birthday dear, April. Happy birthday to you." She finshed singing as she sat beside me, she laughed as I sat foward and smiled happily.

"Now, I know you said not too as I gave you money,but, you brought me things from America, so I got you a few bits."

I smirked happily as she put them in my lap, I quickly ripped all of the paper off them and belted out in happiness. She had got me a perfume, new jeans and a lipstick.

"I know its not much, but I gave you all the money I had for your early present."

I laughed at her stupid comment, "This is more than enough! Thank you Lindsay." I smiled as I kissed her cheek, "You shouldn't have."

She sighed and smiled, "You going to see the boys?" She asked, I had already told her not to tell them or Gina, and I'm sure she wouldn't of had.

"No," I said my stomach dropping in guilt.

She raised an eyebrow, "You're going to keep your birthday a secret?" In which I nodded to, as she pouted in sadness. "Why?" She asked.

"Do you know, how much of a fuss they would make, they already do enough for me."

As we spoke and I described more why I didn't want to tell them, and that I simply didn't want them all fussing, my phone frantically vibrated beside me, luckily Lindsay got up and left the room as I slid open the answer, called IDed as 'Mum'. I mentally cursed as I held the phone up to my ear, and spoke.

"Hello." I said bluntly.

"Happy birthday." She said softly.

"Thank you."

"Got anything nice planned?" She asked me quickly.

I stayed silent for a moment, as she spoke again, "April?" She said trying to push for an answer.

"Uhm," I said then told her the truth, "No."

She seemed to be seeming calm, I had no idea why.

"Good." She said, her voice still soothed.

"Why is that a good thing?" I asked now very confused.

"You can come and visit," She told me, as I felt myself feel weak and upset at her even asking me to come and see her, "I've got you tons of presents." She finished. I was startled at her words, why had she got me gifts? I thought she hated me and depsised my well-being, now she was telling me she had got me gifts, and asking if I would come and visit.

"Really?" I asked in disbelif.

"Of course I have." She spoke, "You're my daughter, I gave birth to you seventeen years ago, I cant not give you anything." She said sounding very serious and I believed her that she had done so.

"I-Uhm-," I said not knowing what to say. "Thank you so much." I said trying to sound thankful, in the moment I really wanted to believe her, and I did. Maybe she didn't hate me as much as she made out, and maybe she wanted to make a mends.

"So will you come and get them?" She asked, the sound of hope in her voice.

"How can I know to trust you."

"Bring your friends, bring Lindsay if you wish." She said, "I wanted to apologise last time I called, but you threatened me."

I gulped, she was for real. But of course I couldn't bring them, for one they wouldn't understand on why I would even want to go and see someone like her, or why even on earth I was speaking to her.