Self Harm, Depression & The Janoskians

Chapter 64

Luke's POV.

April scooted out of the room and Daniel was leaning against the cabinet. His eyes rolling in and out of sleep.

"Go to fucking bed Daniel" I said to him sharply.

He rolled his eyes.

"Why are you angry?" He slurred.

"Because you can't just barge in" I told him.

He looked around the room.

"Look, I won't tell anyone what I saw" he then said, hopefully he wouldn't remember it in the morning anyway, because he was that hammered.

"Promise?" I asked.

"I-promise" he struggled to say.

"Thank you" I then said.

"Right now sleep in my bed" I demanded him still quite annoyed.

I walked outside and April was waiting for me, she sent me a weak smile.

"Don't worry he's fucked. I doubt he will remember tomorrow, if he does he promised to keep it shut" I let her know as I watched her body relax.

"I've never been so embarrassed. Everyone's going to think I'm a slut".

"April. Stop saying that, nobody will and neither would I"

She shook her head and looked down.

"Look, we don't have to do things like that anymore if you don't want too"

She sighed.

"I know this may sound wierd, but I do like doing it with you, because it's not like you do it all- like- you know. You actually show that you like me while doing it. You're gentle"

"I wasn't as gentle last time" I smirked thinking back to the rough night we shared in her room.

"Maybe I got too exited, I'm sorry. We haven't done it in a while" I said to her.

"We can soon, I promise" she laughed.

"Oh don't worry, we haven't finished" I chuckled.

April them made her way to the living room where it was empty and the boys could be heard from the kitchen.

We both lay down on the warm sofa, and Aprils head roll back and softly breath her eyes closing and opening.

"Are you tired?" I asked.

"A little" she hummed.

She lent back and then made herself comfy, my baggy shirt hanging loosely on her body.

Her thighs could be seen though, and her cuts were out.

I don't think she had realised but I placed my hand over them and placed my index finger on the red marks and twirled my finger around them stroking them, her breath hitched but my thumb then kept loosely running my fingers over them.

JAMES POV.

I was probably the most sober out of us all. Beau, Jai, Daniel and I had all been out drinking, but I didn't have much.

I leaned against the kitchen sides, as I watched Jai and Beau laugh and dance.

I rolled my eyes smirking at their moves, but I wanted to see where Daniel had vanished too.

I walked out without a word, they wouldn't notice anyway.

I made my way down to the living room, and turned and walked inside.

The room was warm, and quiet. Daniel wasn't here but there was someone.

April and Luke where curled up on the small sofa together, sleeping lightly.

The sight made me smile, as I was so happy for Luke. She really made him happy, when we would go out drinking, he'd always tell me small stories about them and show me endless photos they have took together.

He cries a lot about her too.

Especially to me.

He really tries to help her, but he says it's not always enough but I told him that she has changed since they got together. She wouldn't be as happy if she hadn't met us boys.

I walked over a small bit more, and looked at them closer,

I then had to shut my eyes at my sight.

Aprils leg had around four long, deep cut wounds that I'm sure she did to herself.

But what I found cute was Luke's thumb was briskly running over it lightly.

He seemed to be asleep but he was still gently stroking her thigh.

But I couldn't judge her. I couldn't never judge anyone who self harms, has depression, a eating disorder etc because they do not want to be like it. It isn't their fault. Society, bullying and things lead them to this and even in Aprils case families.

That was the most upsetting thing, that she had no family except from Lindsay.
Or so I thought. I must try and find out if she had anyone else.

I shifted out the blanket on the other sofa and gently lay it on them.

Luke's eyes slowly opened probably feeling the impact of the blanket resting on him he looked at me.

"Cheers mate" he grinned.

"It's alright. Night" I told him as he nodded and placed his head back down.

I then decided to go home, I needed my own bed and a decent sleep so without a word.

I left.

_________

JAIS POV

I awoke with my face pressed down on the kitchen table, as I slowly sat up I realised I was alone. Our small party in here obviously didn't last long.

I wiped my mouth, and sat up pulling my phone out.

I opened my twitter app and wrote,

@JaiBrooks1 : Crazy night with the boys

And

@JaiBrooks1 : Night/Morning to all our amazing fans in the world

I then got up and made my way down the hallway, stopping in my tracks as I reached Beaus room as I peered in he was asleep in his bed.

I then walked into my own room and got into my bed.

Putting my earphones in and switching my music on, and closing my eyes.

APRILS POV

(Dream)

My pink room was dark and lonely.

I heard the footsteps urging closer and closer.

I felt my heart pound in my chest. It felt like it was going to rip through my skin.

The handle went down, and the latch opened.

There he stood.

A fat, round, sweaty man shadowed over the room.

His chubby fingers holding a cigarette in-between his index and middle finger.

He chuckled as he took a puff; the air filled with musky grey smoke.

"Sit up" he demanded.

My feet turned from my bed and rested on the floor.

He walked forward and his face was now clear, his bloodshot eyes staring into mine.

"Now I'm doing this because...I care about you" he lied.

"Dad- ple-please" I stuttered.

"Shut the fuck up!" He shouted now.

"Now hold out your wrist"

I did as I was told and he laughed.

"Awh, looks who's been cutting again, I told you there would be punishments for this" he smirked.

The cigarette then got swirled around and then placed just above my skin. The heat glowing off.

A sharp, sore and burning pain rushed on my skin as the fag was pressed directly on one of my cuts.

I screamed out in agony.

Then to shut me up a blow was performed on my nose.

As blood flew down my pyjamas.

I cried and cried.

But nobody helped.

___________

I jumped up and my heart was racing, why was I dreaming about this now.

My depression lurked back inside my mind but I was okay I was with Luke.

My red eyes shut as I lie on Luke's chest.

Tears spilled down my cheeks and dropped onto Luke's shirt.

I gripped his clothing in my hands, I stayed awake though. I was too scared to sleep.

_____________







Hi guys! I'm happy I've been updating a lot more lately!
I have a massive surprise in the story coming up.

For all my updating EVERYONE COMMENT. thank you! It means a lot.