Self Harm, Depression & The Janoskians

Chapter 40

LUKE'S POV.

I tickled April across her body, as she laughed and smiled.

I so badly wanted to climb on her and just have sex with her, not for my own needs but to have her feel loved and good for a moment but it seemed like that's what we end up doing a lot and I wouldn't want her to get the wrong impression.

I felt this need and the need just to hold her and look at her as her eyes traced over our hands held like she normally does.

But April stood up and stated she wanted to go back to mine and see all the boys and get drunk, which she seemed like she enjoyed. She let her hair down and was happy when she seemed to have a skimp of alcohol, which I didn't mind as I was the same and loved a good drink too.

I watched her push my hands back so she could get up and she searched her draws and got out some money, she smiled as she saw she had some spare cash and she shoved it in her pyjama shorts pocket and she started putting on her shoes and she looked at me.

"Come on, get your shoes on" she giggled as I nodded and got my shoes from beside her bed and started putting them on.

Little thoughts of the events that had only ended a couple of minutes ago, Aprils head bobbing up and down and sucking on me harshly gave me a huge turned up smile and a huge rush of happiness that I know I shouldn't fine hot because I know I'm supposed to be caring about April but obviously any sexual act with her was sexy and I found a lot of joy in it.

But then little things about April also drove me crazy, the way she'd look at her finger nails in puppy sadness because she had chipped one and the face she pulled was so cute, the way she would run her hands through her hair, the way shed smile softly when we held hands but also when I held it by surprise she looks down at our hands joint and looks back up and smiles.

So that's what I did to see if she did it again, I tied up the last part of my laces and stood up as April was looking at her chipped hand, with her money in the middle of her hand, I grabbed her hand forcefully and pulled her up and started to walk out of the room, I looked back and Aprils eyes were hooked on our hands as she looked up at me and smiled.

As we got in, we heard Lindsay in the living room call us and we didn't know she was back.

April ran off and I waited at the door.

She come running back a few moment later nodding that it was okay to go.

I then remembered something Lindsay had told me.

"Why didn't you tell me your birthday was in 2 weeks?" I asked her.

She looked up at me, re-grabbing my hand and rocking it back and forth slowly.

"I didn't want you to fuss" she said, looking forward.

Luckily the rain had stopped and it was only small drizzle.

"And anyway I only want one thing for my birthday, and I've already got it" she said after.

"What's that then?" I asked.

"Someone who likes me, which is you and all the others" she smiled and passed me her money note as we neared the shop as she let go of my hand and stood outside as she still wasn't old enough to drink.

I went in and got 2 bottles of vodka and we made our way back, April running ahead with the bottles and knocking on the door.

Jai opened the door and let her in as I followed the warmth hitting me.

The drinks were already being poured by Daniel, Beau and James had gone to bed so it was me Jai April and Daniel drinking.


(2 hours later)

JAIS POV.

I downed my first shot then my next then my next then my next.

Then I lost count on how many drinks I was having after I got a regular sized cup and downed the whole glass with straight vodka containing it.

Luke had his eyes closed as he was slowly drinking some vodka from the bottle his movements I could tell he was fuc.ked.

His smirk and his missing of the bottle on his lips signalled something.

April as sat next to me taking another shot.

I turned to her and whispered.

"So what's going on with you and Luke?" I slurred.

She wiped the sour substance with the back of her hand and looked at Luke them me.

"Nothing. We're just looking out for each other"


I knew something must have been going on with them, we was all sure we heard something happen in the bedroom when she surprised us in Brisbane and other little hints even that she only wants to share a bed with Luke but I did see her asleep in Beaus room once before.

I nodded just because I didn't want to annoy her with all my 'facts' that I'm sure I would of ended up saying.

She then topped my glass up with some more vodka which I decided I didn't need and passed the cup to her.

"Here" I said placing it in her hand. "I don't want it. You have it. I'm off to bed" I wobbled as Daniel and Luke both agreed with me and got up as we left April to drink alone, but I did tell her to come to bed but she crossed her head and kicked back.

APRILS POV.

I sat for another hour, alone not even drinking all the time just enjoying my own calm company and relaxing.

I loved this house and I loved every single person that lived and stayed here too.

I sat and rocked some thoughts up about making a effort to be happy for Luke.

But it isn't that easy.

I grabbed the vodka in my hand and slung it onto my mouth wrapping my lips around the top and slinging some vodka down my throat making me crunch my face up in bitterness of how sour it was.

I then heard someone stumble and fall beside me, I looked and it was Luke.

"What are you doing up still?" He's managed to say.

As I went to speak my my mouth felt numb too.

"I'm drinking"

I then felt the bottle snatched out of my hand, as I looked up at a worried Luke he put the bottle on the side as I watched him glance at me.

"Luke I was drinking that?"

"You need to be careful. I don't want you throwing up"

I slid my my hands up his bare chest and pulled him down and hugged him, making him slightly lay above me.

"You're so cute" I softly spoke I could smell the alcohol on Luke's body, as I am sure he could probably smell the same on me.

He then bent his head around and kissed my lips.


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