Self Harm, Depression & The Janoskians

Chapter 2

I woke up around 12 the next day, but I had been really down from all the recent hate so I think what I really needed was a good sleep. I looked under my bunk and saw Jai was already up and out of bed, I took my earphones out as I must have fallen asleep listening to music as usual, as I could hear my Mum, Beau and Jai talking, I jumped out of bed and walked down the hallway to find them in the kitchen.

"Morning" Beau said as I looked at my mum who looked pissed off and dissapointed.

"Whats up with you mum?" I asked her, wondering what on earth she could be annoyed at.

"The boys told me that they thought you was being rude last night to Lindsay's neice, you know April has had the hardest of times recently Lindsay told me, and the least you could do was make her feel good about moving, you know what shes even been- no nothing. Im just annoyed, because you have no clue whats been going on with her" She said basically nearly in tears, wow what the hell could of been going on with April. You know I have nothing against April, I just had enough yesterday.

"What the fuck, I havent done anything" I said defending myself.

"Yes you did you was so stroppy yesterday, if your phone hadnt died you would of sat there all night" Beau said.

"I liked April, shes really nice" added Jai as Mum and Beau nodded in respond with his comment.

"Okay fucking hell, I'll be nice tonight" I quickly said not wanting any hassle with my mum.

"Thank you, boys your going to have to do something with April tonight, Lindsays really upset with whats been going on with April, and she just needs me to talk too" my mum said finishing up Beaus sandwhich and passing it to him.

"Whats been going on with April, then it must be serious? Has she done something wrong?" Beau asked as he took a mouthful of his sandwhich.

"No, no its not April, its-look its got nothing to with you boys, Its none of her fault. So be nice" My mum said grabbing some keys of the side.

"Right im going to be late, Im off. Ill be back in 3 hours, im bringing Lindsay and April back with me" my mum said rushing out, kissing our cheeks as she went.

Jai and Beau stared at me, as the door shut from where my mum had gone.

"You're both liars" I said.

"No we're fucking not, you were being so fucking rude last night, whatevers happened with her, seems pretty serious, and you just iscolated yourself away last night" Beau bascially shouted.

On some level, he was right, I was being rude last night but not on purpose, I had nothing atall against April at all.

"Okay fine I was wrong, Ill say sorry"

"Shit man? James and Skip are supposed to be coming over tonight? Dont you think she will be pissed of?" Jai impied.

"Nah, man she wont mind" I said.

"How would you know you've hardly spoken to the girl?" Beau said with another mouthful of food.

"Oh my fucking God, its not like we're best friends with the girl, shes the neice of mums mate for fuck sake"

"Mums BEST MATE. She's gonna be around alot, if you think about it. The least we could do is be fucking nice" Jai said looking dissapointed in the words I said.

"Im sorry, Im being silly because everyones been giving us hate again, but it seems to only coming through to me"

"Man, we get hate all the time..but we have so much support too" Beau smiled.

He was right, I shouldnt let the idiots on twitter, who hated us boys get me down.

APRILS P.O.V

Me and my auntie, sat on the sofa paitently waiting for Gina to pick me and her up, as she spread herself out on the sofa she smiled at me.

"Im worried about you'" She stated.

"Why?"

"Last night, you covered up all your brusies and you couldnt see them, your not wearing any today and It looks like you have loads of bruises than I though you had?"

Shit, I had forgot too put my makeup on, well I had mascara and eye liner on, but no foundation..it was too hot and it looked silly when its hot as it all melts on your head, so It would come off anyway. I dont really care if they all see my brusies, they dont know or why they got there or how, so oh well.

"Its fine, im fine. Im safe now remeber?"

"But you have to go back next week..to get the rest of your stuff..what about if they are there?"

"Well your coming?"

"Like I can stop your dad..have you seen the man? I cant believe what hes done to you..im so sorry nobody was there to stop him"

I got up and sat right next to her kissing her cheek.

"I love you Lindsay" I said

"I love you too babe, I just-" before she could finish, Gina spun round the corner of the living room door.

"You ready?" she laughed we both nodded and followed her outside, to my aunties car. Gina said she walked round here after her shift, and my auntie drives her home on this night every week.

I was so nervous, on the way to Ginas house. I don't think the boys like me, I honestly think they hate me, Beau and Jai was being nice to me but maybe they were trying to be nice to me because Gina told them too, but I think Luke took a disliking to me.

We pulled up, as Gina and Linsday got out of the car and so did I. Gina and my auntie laughed and chatted, as they walked up to the front door. She ruffled, around in her pockets before pulling out her key, as they small talked about what they should order for dinner.

We walked in, and I could hear the boys but I wasnt sure where they was.

"Right babe, the boys are in Luke and Jai's room..by the sound of it they've got Skip and James round" she laughed, as she walked off to the living room with Lindsay.

"Have fun babe" she said, as she waved.

I walked off akwardly, as I walked outside the door I could hear there voices. I was so nervous I didnt want to walk in uncalled for, in a room full of boys that really seemed to not enjoy my company, well Beau and Jai seemed nice but now they have their friends round they probably wouldn't want me here.

I started shaking, as I felt so weird my knees started to shake. I sat outside their room, as I couldn't find any where else to go. I felt so fucking pathetic, I used to have so much confidence, before all this happened at home I would of walked right in there and said hi, but now because of my depression, I just had lost it all. I had nothing on confidence level at all.

I looked down examning my outfit, I was wearing blue skinny jeans, white converse and a really cute blouse and obviously a cardigan to cover up. I had always loved my body, I had a fairly flat stomach but not really really flat, I had a thigh gap because of my long legs, which I hated, I used to be fairly chubby. Once my dad started to hit me, my body got ruined. The brusies would cover the whole of my body and I just felt revolting, because it was already ruined the cutting started making it even worse.

All horrible memories, started to flow. My eyes started to fill with tears, but not falling. My lip started to tremble. NO APRIL. Dont start crying.

"April?" I heard a voice say next to me.

I looked up, to see Beau standing looking down on me.

"Oh hi" I said quietly.

"Urm..what are you doing out here?"

"I got scared, so I sat out here" I laughed, as Beau laughed.

"Right get up, come and help me get some drinks and then your coming in"

"I dont think Luke likes me, no please..I'll stay here"

"Ofcourse he doesn't hate you silly come on" he said grabbing my arm helping me up as I felt his finger, dig on a cut.

I whimperd in pain.

"Shit sorry? I didnt know I grabbed you so hard?"

"No you didn't don't worry"

He faintly smiled.

We walked into the kitchen, as he grabbed the bottle of coke passing it to me. As he grabbed 6 cups.

"Come on then"

"No please Beau" I pleaded.

"Stop being so silly come on"

I rolled my eyes and followed Beau, as he pushed the bedroom door open. Beau walked inside, as I slowly followed and kept my head down on the floor. As Beau laughed.

"Boys this is April"

I looked up to Jai smiling, another boy..and another boy smiling, and Luke sitting in his underwear, and a shirt on a chair with a x-box control in his hand.

"Hi April" Luke said brightly.

"Hiii" I said, as I could feel my hands shaking again.

"This is Daniel, also known as skip" said Jai pointing at one of the boys.

"And this is James" he followed, by pointing at another one of the boys.

"Nice to meet you" I said to them both my voice quivering.

"We never have chicks here. We should more often" Joked Skip.

Beau got me a seat, next to Luke and I sat down.

"Can you play?" said Luke passing me a x-box remote.

"Yeah, I played a couple of times" I said taking it into my own hands.

We started to play, and I was kicking his ass. I laughed, as I won. Luke stood up after our game of fifa, and started swearing like crazy chucking the remote on the floor, making me flinch.

They all started laughing, along with Luke.

"Ah, you kicked my ass" Luke said punching me playfully in the arm, as I kept all my emotion inside.

I laughed.

"Yeah I did"

Gina brought some food in and placed a plate in each of our laps.

"Hope you are all being nice to April" she winked.

"Yes we are mum god" said Jai.

"Okay, okay...and I think your sleeping here tonight love, your aunts fast asleep on the couch" she laughed, as I nodded and started eating,

"Well...you can have my bed" said Jai.

"Ill sleep up with Luke and you boys can ither sleep on the floor, or in Beaus room"

"floor its always so much funnier in here, when we are all together" Said Daniel.

"Oh, i'll sleep in another room..I don't want to spoil your boys fun" I said about to get up.

Luke grabbed my wrist, as I squealed silently in pain.

"No stay in here, shit sorry did I hurt you"

"No" I said bluntly.

"And no you can sleep in here with all of us" Jai added.

"Wait ill get you something to sleep in" Luke said standing up walking over to some draws, he pulled out some jogging bottoms, and a jumper.

"Here" he said throwing them at me.

"Right you go get changed, we will all get changed and sort out all the beds" James said as I nodded and walked out.

I walked out, and got changed.

I got called back 10 minutes later, and I walked back in.

"Awh you look better in them clothes, than Luke does" Jai said as Luke punched him in the arm playfully, as I took my hair down and pushed my hand through the hair band. I walked over to Lukes bed and got under the covers, then I noticed the covers moving as Daniel popped his head up screaming.

I laughed.

"Holy shit you scared me" I laughed as Daniel crawled out and lie on the floor.

"Night peeps" Jai said as we all called out Night.

This was so fucking awkward man, sharing and sleeping in a room with a bunch of boys that I didn't even know, thanks for falling asleep Lindsay. But I wouldn't say they were horrible boys so I didnt really mind.