Deception
'Let it out'
Halos ilang araw na akong nagtetraining mula nang makarecover ako. Hailey has also recovered. We're okay at balik kami sa dati. I'm now on a training sa headquarters ng Elites.
Hirap na hirap na ako while the elites are just relaxing and watching me. Last day ko na ngayon sa pagtetraining at dito, illusion na daw ang pag-aaralan ko.
"Okay, have a rest first," Carrie said at salamat naman. Dumukdok muna ako sa table at sa oras na dumating daw sila Damon, mag-iistart na ang illusion training.
Gustong-gusto ko mamahinga. Masakit pa rin hanggang ngayon ung sugat ko sa tagliran at sa hita kahit nakarecover na ako. Nandun pa rin ung kirot at hindi naman madali na gagaling 'to. Plus, I want to sleep. No. I need some sleep.
For the past 6 days, my sleeping time was just 4 hours. Hindi na rin ako gaanong nakakakain ng maayos. Deadly training nga. Dito ata akong mamamatay.
"Blaise," tawag nila sa'kin at aware naman ako na kararating lang nila Damon. Here we go again sa training sessions.
"Prepare," sabi nila at pumunta na ako sa gitna with my dagger only. They handed me something.
"Wear this. Sa utak mo magmumula ang illusion," sabi ni Veron at para siyang headphone na may ididikit sa bandang noo. I took it, attached it on me and may pinindot sila na nakakonekta sa machine na nasa itaas ko. They just stared at me at ganun din ako.
Later on, nagiging iba na ung nangyayari. May biglang sumugod sa'kin so I fought back pero agad itong nawala na parang bula. Hanggang sa nagiging malinaw na ang scenaryo na ikinagulat ko. The day my parents died. My birthday.
"Presenting, Blaise Harper," my uncle announced. Tito ko lang siya pero siya ang tumayong tatay sa amin ni kuya mula nung mawala si daddy when I was 13. I don't know where he is or if he is still alive.
A little Blaise Harper went down wearing a gown and a genuine smile. This was my birthday. My birthday that went out miserable.
"Happy birthday honey," my uncle whispered to the little Blaise. My uncle even kissed her to the cheeks. I don't know what to feel. I... miss them.
There's my mom with my little sister na si Cassie. She just smiled at the little Blaise and mouthed 'Happy Birthday Honey.' I miss my mother smiles. I miss my little sister's laugh and the way I dress her like a living doll.
Parang nawawalan ng hangin sa kinalalagyan ko. The party was perfect. My 16th birthday was supposed to be sweet.
Yet it turned out spicy.
There, the little Blaise was wearing a beautiful royal blue gown with those glittering things. I received gifts. Flowers. Greets. Everything. I gain everything I want and need.
*Bang*
*Bang*
*Bang*
Napaatras ako ng makarinig na sunod-sunod na baril. Nagkakagulo ang mga tao. Screams. Shout. Frighten people. The big chandelier dropped that cause many people death.
Agad na hinanap ko ang mga magulang ko. Damn it. Nang maramdaman ko na tumatagos ang mga bisita sa katawan ko, there I realize that I'm inside a training.
A deception training.
I shook my head. Dapat labanan ko ang emosyon ko. I should know how to control this. Sa dami-daming ala-ala na papasok, eto pa. I took my dagger out of my pocket nang makita ko ang naka silver mask. Dali-dali ko siyang sinugod pero naiinis ako ng tumatagos ang atake ko sa kaniya.
Darn it.
Sunod-sunod na pagbabaril ang mga naririnig ko. The visitors are now lifeless. Habang ang maliit na Blaise ay nagtatago sa isang lamesa. I saw my older brother competing with the silver mask.
Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa dagger ko. I wanted to kill that guy. Sumugod ako at nakipaglaban pero wala, tumatagos pa rin. Damn it! Para saan pa ang illusyon na 'to?
"Kuya," napalingon ako sa maliit na Blaise. She's crying and staring. Wala akong nagawa noon. I just watched them dying. Biglang naiiba ang nangyayari, may sumusugod na sa'kin. I managed to fought them back kahit tumatagos ang atake ko. They are vanishing.
Kagagawan ba 'to ng utak ko? Damn this illusion!
"Harpers," napalingon ako sa nagsalita. Ang silver mask. Nakatutok na ang baril niya kay kuya while holding my hair. I can't see my mother and my sister. Hindi ko sila mahanap. Where are they?
*Bang*
Napaatras ako ng makarinig ng putok ng baril. Paglingon ko, I saw my uncle laying on the floor.... lifeless. Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa dagger ko. I can't breathe. Lumapit ako sa kanila, at doon ko narinig ang huling putok na tumama sa kuya ko. A tear fell from my eye. Nanghihina ang mga tuhod ko.
Hindi ko na kaya.
I took my headphones out of my ears at nawala ang illusion. I just stared. Wala akong nagawa.
Damn it.
"Blaise, the training isn't over," sabi ni Damon pero binitawan ko lang ang hawak kong dagger at headphone. I just stared at them for a minute. I can't breathe. My uncle and brother's face keeps flashing and flashing to my mind.
"I-I'm sorry, I can't," sabi ko at umalis na sa headquarters ng walang paalam. Damn. The pain is killing me. Patuloy lang ako sa paglalakad hanggang sa may humawak sa braso ko. Paglingon ko, it's Rye.
"I need a rest Rye," I said before he speaks.
"What happened? What was the illusion?" He asked but instead of answering him, I just took my arm from him. Patuloy na naglakad ako hanggang may sinabi siya na ikinahinto ko.
"I told you to hide that emotion before it kills you," he said and this time, I faced him.
"Sa tingin mo ganun kadali un? You don't know my pain. You don't know how it deep cutting my flesh continously. You don't know everything," I said at patuloy na bumubuhos ang mga luha ko.
"Then tell me everything. You are the one who is killing yourself. You kept that pain which keeps growing for years," he said.
"I-I can't," halos pabulong na sabi ko. Damn it. Walang nakakaalam sa nararamdaman ko. How can I manage to fight my emotions? Damn this feeling! I am crying. My eyes were blurry. But, suddenly, I felt his arms covering me.
"Let it out," he whispered. Kusang gumalaw ang mga kamay ko at niyakap din siya. I need someone right one. I need a comfort body. Hindi ko na kaya ung sakit. Paulit-ulit na naririnig ko ang pagmamakaawa ng pamilya ko.
It keeps cycling and cycling in my mind and ears. The pain is digging deeper and deeper. I just cried. I let it out. I let it out with the help of Rye.
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