A Place Of Hope And No Pain (Avenged Sevenfold)

Chapter 5

Chloe's POV

We sat up late. I was tired and wanted to go to bed, but I couldn't. Matt was having trouble sitting still. We went down for dinner, he ate a little, but his main problem at the moment was the fact that he was having trouble sitting still. That didn't bother me, shit, things were going to get way worse than him standing up and pacing around the room.

"I think I'll go to bed." He muttered around 2am.

I nodded, standing up. "Yeah I might go too." I'd been sitting here on the couch for the last two hours hiding my yawns.

"Well goodnight." He said, turning and heading into his room.

"Night." I said heading into the bathroom. "Just wake me up if you need anything."

He didn't reply, he just shut his door. I wasn't offended, the guy was feeling like shit right now, only things were going to get way worse for him and I hoped he realised it.

I slept on and off and honestly, I didn't get much, but I was sure I got more sleep than Matt. All night I heard him get up, walk round the living space, then he'd go back into his room, closing the door once again.

Around 6.30am, when I heard him get up again, I climbed out of bed, walking out.

"Good morning." I said putting a smile on my face although I was dead tired. "Want to go and get some breakfast?"

"Can we go to the gym first?" He asked looking at me.

He looked like shit. He had stubble, he was sweating, his eye's were blood shot and the bags under them big enough to pack enough luggage for a week away.

"Sure." I said. "Let me get changed."

So we went to the gym again, where one again I walked on the treadmill while Matt ran. I knew he was trying to outrun his feelings, but I also new he would never do that, ever.

After the gym we went up and showered, going down for breakfast. I had a bit of everything and Matt had a piece of toast and a coffee, not finishing either.

"So what's the plan for today?" He asked me, taking a mouthful of coffee and wincing.

"Oh we have a group session today." I said, shoving pancake in my mouth.

He frowned. "Group session?"

"Yeah, we sit down with a few other's and you can talk about whatever you want." I explained, finishing my breakfast.

"Um." He mumbled, looking around the dining room, which once again was virtually empty. "Do we have to?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, we have to attend." I told him. "But you don't have to say anything if you don't want to."

He nodded. "Okay good."

"But." I said, standing up. "It will help, I know you think it won't, but believe me, talking about your problems to people who understand them helps, a lot."

He didn't reply, he just followed me outside where I sat in the sunshine, waiting for group to start. We didn't say anything, there was no need, his fidgeting spoke volumes to me anyway. He was struggling.

"Ready." I said getting up. "Let's go in."

He sighed, standing up and following me. I'm sure it seemed daunting to him but it really wasn't. We all weren't going to be in the room together, there would only be two other addicts and their counsellors. As time went on the groups got bigger, but for now, we started out small. Hell they were going through hell right now, the last thing they needed was to be in a room full of sweating, fidgeting, angry strangers.

I walked in, sitting down, smiling at Matt as he sat next to me. We had to wait for the other's to show up and I knew Carrie and her guy were coming as well as Stuart and his lady. We were given a timetable ahead of time so we knew where we had to be and at what time.

Everyone came in sitting down and glancing at each other and I think it made Matt feel a little better to see the other's were looking as bad as him.

"This is stupid." Stuart's lady snapped.

"God Audrey." Stuart sighed. "You're so negative."

"Well you try doing this on two hours sleep." She snapped.

"I am." Stuart mumbled, raising his eyebrow's. "Fine I'll start."

Everyone shifted in their chairs. Stuart was starting in the hope he could get a conversation going, hoping everyone would start opening up.

"So." He said, looking at us all. "I was an addict, my poison, oxycodone. I was an athlete, I had my life mapped out, well until I hurt my knee. My Doctor prescribed me it and everything went downhill from there." He took a deep breath before continuing. I knew what he was going through, it was always hard to talk about a past you weren't proud of. "Anyway, long story short I gave up everything for it, my job, my athletic career, my family."

At the mention of family, Matt sat up straighter.

"My wife left me, she was seven months pregnant at the time." Stuart explained. "I guess it was the kick in the guts I needed. She told me I wouldn't see my child unless I was clean and let me tell you it was the motivation I needed. I came here, did this." He said, motioning with his hand. "And I've never looked back."

"So you got see your baby?" Lisa, his partner asked.

He nodded. "Better, I got my marriage back on track." Stuart told her smiling. "My daughter just turned six."

"You fixed your marriage?" Matt asked, sounding hopeful.

"It took some work, but yeah, I did." Stuart told him.

"Wow, what a beautiful story." Jerry, Carrie's partner snapped. "I'm fucking touched."

"Lighten up." Carrie snapped. "The point is if you work hard enough thing's will be okay."

"What." Jerry snapped, looking at Carrie. "You're life worked out too?"

Carrie nodded. "It did." She said. "I was a heroin addict, lost everything, but now, I'm doing good."

"Aw this is just so beautiful." Jerry grumbled, wiping his hand over his face.

"Look." Stuart said. "That's just me and Carrie, but let me tell you, after this is finished, don't leave assuming everything will be alright, because sometimes it isn't. Isn't that right Chloe?"

I looked up to see everyone looking at me. "Yeah, that's right." I said softly.

Even after five years, it hurt, it still hurt to say it.

"I was an alcoholic." I said smiling. "I drank all day everyday and most nights, I lost my job, I lost my family and I lost my husband."

"You did?" Matt asked, turning in his chair to look at me.

I nodded. "Yeah I did, I told you I've been where you are." I explained. "My only problem was that I messed up so badly my life was ruined, even after I was sober. My mother still barely speaks to me, my siblings pretend I don't exist and my husband remarried."

I took a shaky breath. It still hurt to say that and it still hurt to know he'd moved on without me.