15.

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When I slowly opened my eyes, I felt even worse than when I went to sleep. I was still exhausted and I had a giant headache because I hadn't drunk a lot of water lately. The sun was so bright it hurt my eyes so I closed them again, turning and cuddling into my pillow. It was really comf- wait a second.. Pillow..?

I quickly opened my eyes again and blinked a few times, slowly lifting myself with my arms. When I finally realized I had been using Felix's lap as a pillow, I blushed and pushed myself away from him, seeing he was already awake and leaning against a tree.

"Good morning." He chuckled at how panicked I had gotten up, making me feel even more embarrassed. I adjusted my mask and looked around. The others were still asleep; Krism cuddled up against Minx and Jack lying on Mark's chest, his face still stained with tears. It was like a punch in the face - I had secretly been hoping yesterday had all just been a terrible nightmare - and I sighed, brushing my hand through my hair and looking back at Felix.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know I was using you as my pillow," I whispered, awkwardly scratching my neck.

"It's okay. I noticed you were shaking and mumbling in your sleep so I assumed you were having a nightmare again. I didn't want it to go just like last time so I tried calming you down, and it worked, so yeah..." he explained a bit awkwardly. Oh, right. Nightmares. I couldn't remember I was having the nightmare again, so I guess Felix really did manage to calm me down.

"Oh. Uh.. Thanks, I guess." I gave him a smile, although he couldn't possibly see that. He gave me a small smile as well though, so that was good. I decided to start a small conversion with him because we were the only ones awake and I didn't want this to turn awkward.

"So... You think we have a new couple in the group?" I asked him and Felix started coughing, turning dark red.

"W-What?" he stuttered out and I quickly realized my mistake. There goes my idea of not making things awkward.

"No, no, I d-don't mean- I just.. I didn't m-mean as in us-" I stuttered horribly, making Felix laugh.

"Cry, calm down. You're forgetting to breathe," he had a huge smile on his face, which made me feel slightly better. At least he could laugh about it.

"Right," I said, taking a deep breath and facepalming. "I meant Jack and Mark," I mumbled in my hand. Felix looked over to them, smiling sadly.

"Yeah, it's pretty rough for them. They just lost their best friend," he said, looking at the ground and pulling at his sleeves.

"I miss Ken," he whispered honestly. I nodded slowly, looking at the ground. I really missed him as well. He was a really good complainer about everything, but without his stubborn personality things would definitely be different around here. Ken's death came as a shock. I don't know why, but I guess I had developed this feeling of safety, a feeling of immortality when I was around the group. I should've known better, as this had happened to me before. I'd been in a group, I felt as if nothing could go wrong, and the next day I lost everyone.

"Good morning." We heard a voice, breaking the silence we were in. I looked over to Scott to see him sit up and stretch his arms. Felix and I both greeted him and Scott grabbed Snake's backpack, opening it and digging through his belongings. He was using Snake's backpack because I still had his' from when I left yesterday. It's a miracle Scott was able to grab the bag and save his stuff in the chaos yesterday. Now that I think about it, that might have been the reason why almost everyone was already out of the house when he got trapped underneath the beam; he had tried to gather all of his stuff in time.

I looked away from him and thought about everything that had happened. I should probably tell the group about the masked people I saw. They were honestly terrifying. I tried to avoid thinking about Ken and Davon as much as possible, but even thinking about avoiding those subjects caused my throat to burn by holding back tears.

"Hey, Cry?" I jumped and looked up at Scott, seeing he was standing right next to me.

"Yeah?" I stood up as well so I met his eye level.

"I believe this is yours," he said, holding something in front of me. It took me a second to realize it was my knife and I took it from him.

"Uh, thanks," I said awkwardly, frowning at him.

"No, I should be to one thanking you. You really saved my life back there. Damn, I think you saved all of us by deciding to come back." He smiled at me and I just stared at him in shock. He knew I left?

Scott laughed a little, "Dude, do you really think I didn't hear you leave? I decided not to stop you because it is your decision if you want to leave or not."

Wow, so Scott did hear me leave after all. I guess I could've expected that, seeing he was sitting on the couch right next to the door. It felt weird to have him smile at me. He was being nice, and that was something I would never have expected from Scott when I first joined the group.

"I.. I want to apologise for being such an asshole to you," he said, looking nervous. I quickly shook my head.

"It's okay, I understand where you were coming from. I hate myself, too," I joked and both Scott and Felix chuckled.

"So.. How about we start again? I'm Scott, but you can call me Jund if you'd like." He held out his hand for me to shake. I smiled and took it, shaking his hand.

"I'm Cry, it's nice to meet you." He smiled as well and gave me a pat on my shoulder.

"Welcome to the group, Cry."

-

Everyone was awake and we had started walking again. It reminded me of the first few days I had joined this group, except for the 'Felix helping me walk because my leg was dead' part. Oh, and we had Mark and Jack here now, which was different as well. Other than that, everything seemed the same.

"How are you holding up?" I heard Mark ask Jack behind me. Jack had been unusually quiet, but that was understandable.

"I'm okay," he said quietly. At least he wasn't crying anymore, which was good because it was so heartbreaking to see and hear. Russ and Felix were walking behind Snake and Scott, who were leading the group like usual. Russ looked back at me and smiled, giving me a little wave. I waved to him as well. The moment he woke up this morning, he ran towards me and hugged me, thanking me that I came back. I guess he was serious when he said he didn't want me to leave.

Minx and Krism were walking in front of me, tightly holding each other's hands and sharing a smile every now and then, thankful of each other's presence. Ken's death made us realize that we should be grateful for every peaceful moment we had.

"Hey," I heard Felix's voice and I saw he had fallen behind so he could talk to me. I quickly looked at Russ to see he was talking to Scott now.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked him, giving him a smile he still couldn't see.

"Nothing much, just wanted to check up on you. How are you doing?" he asked, giving me a sympathetic look. I didn't have to think twice to know he was referring to Davon's death. I took his death really hard and everyone noticed that last night.

"I'm doing alright. How about yourself?" I asked him. I knew I kind of avoided his question because I wasn't being honest, but I really didn't want to talk about it now - or ever.

"You and I both know that's bullshit. You can talk to me. You know that, right?" he said, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, I know. It's just that... I don't know..." I mumbled, not really sure how to say what I was feeling. Was I really going to open up to Felix?

"It's just that Davon kept calling me his hero, but in the end I c-couldn't-" I stopped there, not able to finish my sentence, but Felix didn't force me to.

"It's okay, I know it's really hard on you. Just know that we're here for you, okay?" he said, dropping his hand from my shoulder and instead taking my own hand, giving it a small, reassuring squeeze. My stomach made another one of those jumps and a smile tugged at the corner of my lips. Holy shit, Felix was holding my hand.

He dropped it way too soon for my liking though, giving me one last smile - which made my heart melt a little - and walking back towards Russ to give me some time on my own. I knew why he left me alone; I usually enjoyed being alone way more than having someone to keep me company, but this time - just this time - I wished he had stayed with me.

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