aLOVEthing

twenty three | together

(note: quotes in bold / italics are Heart's thoughts in the form of Jome's responses. it's all in her head!)

~

Heart grabbed her keys and headed out of the office. Today was the longest day, only because she had trouble bringing herself to her own two feet. The past couple of days have been tough on her, and the only priority right now was to get Logan to see his mom before anything happened.

She just wasn't sure how she could break it to him, whatsoever.

Her mind felt clouded, making her body feel heavy from the weight of the stress. And the worry. And the anxiety.

"Deep breaths, Heart. Deep breaths." She reminded herself as she drove out of the parking structure and onto the street. Heart automatically found herself driving straight to the beach to have a talk with Jomari, feeling like she could use a bit of de-stressing and finding some peace of mind.

Especially since she couldn't talk to Stephen right now.

Heart knew it wasn't entirely his fault, especially since she was too busy trusting Jordan when she shouldn't have. She knew she pushed Steph away for him, making him act the way he did. But at the same time, she hated having to think of some other woman all up on her man. She hated having to find out he went back to what troubled her in the first place. She hated having to know this is how she lost Jome, and Stephen went back to that scene.

It somewhat made her sick to her stomach.

Parking her car, she takes another deep breath before exiting to lean against the railing that overlooked the beach in front of her. She took in the soft, warm colors of the sun slowly setting as she listened to the low tide.

"Hey, Jome. I just came by to say that I miss you every day & that there's not one day where I don't think about you." She sighed and looked down at her hands before looking back up. "So many things have been going on & I have no idea why. First the whole incident with Jordan, then Aunt Lisa being deathly sick.. and now Wardell. I know, you're probably telling me not to get mad at him and cut him some slack cause of the way I treated him. But I don't know.. I just hate how he went back to that, knowing what it would mean to me." She closed her eyes, imagining Jome's face & his responses - as if he were really speaking to her.

"It's not your fault, or his fault Heart. We're all human, we make mistakes. He didn't mean to intentionally hurt you, he was just lost with the ways to cope."

"I don't know, Jomari. I'm mad but I'm not. I guess I could really use this space right now, before I say things I'll regret. It feels nice to be alone. Feels nice to get your thoughts together."

"You were always so independent. Take the time you need, but don't be so distant with Steph. I know he wants to make you happy and do what's best for you. He's a good guy."

"I know he's a good guy. I never doubted it. It just hurts." She sighed. "Besides, I have things to think about with Logan and Aunt Lisa."

"That dude loves you more than life itself. He really sent the girl home, Heart. There was never any intention of him trying to ruin you or the relationship - he thought about you the whole time. And with Auntie Lisa. I'm sorry babygirl, but when the time comes, the time comes. She'll be better off not struggling or in pain. She'll be at peace."

"You're right. I just wish I could do everything to take away the pain, but I can't. She wasn't the best but she loved me and took care of me." She groaned. "Why me. I don't know how to break it to Loges. I wish you were here."

"I am here, Heart. But you have to accept the way things are. You need to tell Christen to take him soon, she may not have any longer. And I'm telling you this from the bottom of my heart."

"Things would be easier if you were around still."

"I am. I'm always here for you. You have to accept things as they come and move forward, baby girl. I believe in you. There's always a way."

She took one more look at the ocean before grabbing her bag and heading back to the car. She had to talk to Christen, and she knew she had to break it to Logan sooner or later. There wasn't much time.

Approaching Christen and Dom's door, she unlocked it and welcomed herself inside, only to find Logan running to her.

"Heart! Heart! Look what I drew at summer camp today!"

"Alright, let me see big boy." She squatted to be at eye level with him.

"This is Christen, Dom, me and then you--"

"Who's that at the end?"

"Steph." She chuckled a bit before pulling him into a hug.

"I am so proud of you, my love." She kissed him on the cheek. "You can show me more and tell me all about summer camp after I talk to Christen, okay?" He nodded as he ran back to his bedroom. Christen stood at the kitchen, mixing in some sugar into her cup of tea. She smiled, immediately acknowledging Heart's presence.

"Hey girl, how was class & the office today?"

"Not too bad. Same old, really." She chuckled.

"Are you feeling better?" Heart shrugged.

"Could be better, but. I'm just giving myself some time to process it all. Taking it day by day, you know?" Christen nodded. "I actually wanted to talk to you about Logan."

"He doesn't know yet, does he?"

"No. I have no idea how I'm going to break it to him. I was hoping you could be there with me. Since you're his legal guardian, you have to take him to see his mom."

"I don't have any issues with that. I'll gladly take him. It's just getting him to understand will be the hard part."

"I mean, he looks for her from time to time."

"He does. But it's been a bit hard for him to understand why she's been away & why all of a sudden I'm the mommy. He hasn't caused problems about it, but I know the boy is curious."

"I guess we have to do it tonight. I'm not sure how long she has, to be honest. She really, really didn't look good. And although they sugarcoated it, I know it's bad." Christen shook her head in deep sympathy.

"It's hard, I know. But we're here for you guys and we'll do whatever it takes. We'll get through it together, alright?" Christen pulled her into a tight, one armed hug, rubbing her arm.

"Thank you, Christen. Really. For everything."

"We're in this together. There's always a way."