aLOVEthing

seven | flashing lights

Heart hurriedly grabbed her duffle bag and sleepily walked out of her apartment in the comfiest clothes she's ever worn. She stayed up later than usual last night, roaming the streets with Jordan and a couple of his friends. 

So late that she fell asleep right when she got home and woke up to three missed calls from Stephen.

She felt miserable, but she did her best to reassure him that she'd make time for him once her first event was over. She also took a little bit of time to make sure he knew how much she appreciated him and how much she missed him. Especially since the relationship has been feeling very dull due to the distance. 

She wasn't sure they'd make it.

But first things first: she had to brush off all these feelings and shake off this nervousness so she wouldn't fall off the stage.

It sucked for her to know Stephen wasn't going to make it to her event, even though he promised he'd do everything in his power to watch her walk that runaway and be her number one fan.

"Hi Ms. Dawson, please follow me. Quickly. You need to throw on your first outfit and be ready for the first run through." An unknown woman pushed her from behind to make her walk faster. As if she wasn't already speed walking. She was thrown into a chair for the usual routine to commence - hair, makeup, last minute touch ups. After that, she was ushered towards more people to get her first outfit on. 

She was tired. She hasn't felt completely satisfied since she's been home. Another thing that's been consuming her mind was the thought of whether or not this was really for her. 

Being pushed to the front for her turn to practice her walk down the runway, she swallowed the lump in her throat before letting out a small breath to ease her nerves. The man called for her to walk towards her at the end of the runway so she did what she was told.

It kind of reminded her of the past. Not completely, but bits and pieces.

One. Two. Three. Pose. 

Four. Five. Six.

Pose.

Seven. Eight. Nine. 

And at the tenth step, she'd do her final pose before turning around to sway her hips some more before running off stage to get her next outfit on. It was a process.

During her break, Heart took some time to make a small cup of coffee and find a quiet area outside the venue to call Steph. 

"Babe, why is your phone off?" She said to herself as she looked down at her phone. To see if it wasn't a mistake on her end, she called once more. The phone was still off. "Wardell, what are you doing." She said, a bit disappointed she couldn't hear his voice before the show. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" She felt Jordan's hand rest on her shoulder to slightly turn her towards his direction. A small, somewhat fake smile, curved at the corners of her mouth.

"Uh, I can't get a hold of Steph. & I just wanted to talk to him before the show."

"I'm sorry. Have you tried hitting him up elsewhere?"

"Yeah, but my messages aren't delivering. So." She shrugged.

"It's okay. I'm sure he just doesn't have service at the moment. It'll be okay." He smiled bigger as he placed both hands on her arms. "But hey! How excited are you to do this show?!"

"Eh, so so." 

"So so? You'll be amazing, cheer up, ma." He winked as he put his arm around her shoulder.

"Thanks. That's really sweet of you. Why are you here so early?"

"Gotta take pictures of the event. Plus, help set up everything."

"Gotta put that creative mind to work, huh?" She playfully pushed him. From the corner of her eye, she noticed the same, unfamiliar woman from the beginning of the day ushering her to come over. She looked down at her phone, realizing it was almost show time. Already. Jordan followed her eyes before returning his attention back to her. He noticed how nervous she looked, so he grabbed her hands and rubbed the top of her hands with his thumbs.

"You're gonna be fine." She nodded quietly, trying to absorb his words. "I promise. I'm gonna be out here cheering for you."

"Thanks, Jordan."

"Go kill'em." He smiled before pulling her into a deep hug. As she walked away, she turned once more to find reassurance in his smile. Maybe having Jordan around wasn't too bad. 

The lights, the cameras, the music. Everything was in her face. Up close and personal. She thought she'd be used to this kind of treatment, being Stephen's girlfriend. But she wasn't. During her first walk, her heart sank a bit knowing Stephen wasn't in the crowd. Or Logan. Or Jomari. She found herself slowing her pace a bit, until she made eye contact with Jordan. He smiled at her, and nodded at her to urge her to keep going and giving her all. He proceeded to clap and yell as if he was a fan of hers and nobody else's. 

That kept her going.

It was the only thing she needed to make the rest of the show a breeze. Heart felt her confidence rise as she stepped off the stage after her final walk. She couldn't be happier getting this far and accomplishing yet another thing off her list. 

"I told you you'd do great!" She laughed as she ran into Jordan's arms in the next room of the venue, where the after party would be held. Jordan swung her around before placing her down and brushing the hair out of her face. "You were amazing. Just utterly and completely gorgeous." She blushed.

"You're so sweet. Thanks for being there for me, Jordan. I really appreciate it."

"I got you, ma. Did I seem like your number one fan out there?" She laughed as she playfully shoved him. 

"Yeah, I guess so."

"I mean, I tried my hardest to be loud, but at the same time, I wasn't trying to be irritating to the people next to me. I think I got on they nerves a little bit. But it's all worth it." He laughed before eyeing her up and down. "You look great." He said lowly as he edged a little closer to her, keeping the eye contact. 

"You don't look too--" Heart was interrupted by someone clearing their throat behind her. They sounded rather close, but distant as well. It was clear enough for her to hear. 

"W-wardell?" She turned as her eyes widened as she backed away from Jordan and stared at Stephen in disbelief. She wasn't sure if he was real or if she was dreaming. 

But one thing's for sure: her heart skipped a beat as she laid her eyes on his hazel-green eyes in what seemed like forever. It was like the first time all over again.

"Heart."