LOST BOY.

|fifty four

shattered alcohol bottles abandoned in the alleyway.

cigarette butts laid on the rooftop.

bloody razor blades left on the sink.

a broken boy slipping back into a depressed mental state.

apparently it's called relapse.

or that's just what the internet said.

i wasn't really planning on asking my old psychologist.

a couple years ago, anxiety of anyone finding out my scars and habits scared the hell out of me.

for some reason i didn't care this time.

"jimin, you smell like cigarettes."

i shrugged, pushing past seokjin to go to my room.

we still shared it, we just lived as if the other didn't exist.

"jimin, you went drinking without me?" taehyung laughed.

his expression changed when i failed to smile back.

"what's wrong?"

i shut the door without an answer.

i wasn't angry at them, i just want to be alone.

quite frankly, the sadness went away pretty quick.

i was depressed again but it was like i had gotten so used to feeling this way there wasn't even a change.

this world is so fucking big, filled with people i will never know or meet.

filled with people who will support or never acknowledge me.

it's easy to get lost in such an overcrowded place.

lost was such a distant yet oh so familiar feeling.

like i had just gotten a taste of it, and i had always been that way at the same time.

it was scary, yet relaxing.

i was a lost boy, trapped between the past and the future and who knows if i'll ever find myself again.

but maybe lost is what i needed to be for now.