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Chapter Twenty One

Twenty Years Later

"I can't believe it's been twenty years since Kelly died," Francine sighed.

"To the day," Trace added.

"I worry about Vivian," their mother expressed, "She's never been the same since Kelly. Never tried to date, never tried to get married, I don't even think she's worn color since then."

"I don't think so either," Francine said, "We've talked some, but she's such a private person...I don't even know if she's coming tonight."

"Kyle is coming, right?"

"Of course. He wouldn't miss honoring his half-sister's memory."

The family talked together until their guests arrived. All were wearing something black to honor the death of their beloved Kelly. Vivian wore all black, as she had since the funeral. Later on in the day, after the sun had set and they'd said their toasts to Kelly, Francine found Vivian in the kitchen, standing by the coffee pot and stirring her cup slowly, zoned out.

"Viv?" Francine asked quietly.

"Oh, sorry. What?"

"I just wanted to say I'm glad you came tonight."

"I couldn't not show up."

Francine nodded, pausing before asking her next question, "Hey, Viv? Do you remember at the funeral...that letter you read? There was a Post Script saying one hundred and fifty seven. What did that mean?"

Vivian took in a shaky breath, her voice soft and cracking slightly, "She counted all the windows."

"What do you mean?"

"Every house she entered, every apartment, everywhere. She counted all the windows, because a window was a way of escape. She could jump out a window and either run away or die. It was her escape. She counted them all. All of them."

Francine held Vivian as she began to cry, "Do you know she died from jumping out a window? She went to the tallest building she could find. She looked out that window, sat on the sill, then did a swan dive. It was the only way she could get herself to do it. She needed to feel like she was really escaping."

Francine held Vivian and pat her back, "Shh, shh, I'm so sorry I asked. I never wanted you to have to re-live that. I know you loved her. If I could bring her back for you, I would."

"It's all right, Francine, I'mokay," Vivian said, calming down, taking deep breaths, "I wish she were heretoo, but she's not. She's free now. She's happy. She doesn't have to worryabout pain or suffering or anything anymore. She's free. That's all I couldwant for her. I'm not selfish enough to wish she were here just for me:suffering every day, having night mares every night, wishing the memories wouldgo away. I wouldn't wish that on her. Never."